


Dreaming of Stars by Any Chance

by FlyRobinFly, Thorki_And_Other_Obsessions



Series: Stars Dance [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But also, Children, Cute, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Dreams, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Finn finds out about his past, Fluff, Husbands, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Parenthood, Post-Wedding, just a touch, poe thinks he is dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyRobinFly/pseuds/FlyRobinFly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorki_And_Other_Obsessions/pseuds/Thorki_And_Other_Obsessions
Summary: Rey and Lando came to visit Finn, Poe, and Kes on the ranch. They hadn't been there since Finn and Poe's wedding a few months before. That was before Finn and Poe began taking steps to start a family of their own. With Lando and Rey there, Finn's dreams get a little more intense, and along with that, Poe's health returns to a questionable at best state.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Stars Dance [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887052
Comments: 62
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I use the Galactic Standard Calander for time measurement in this fic. It's not that important if you don't care. But if you do or are interested here is a quick guide:
> 
> 60 seconds = 1 minute  
> 60 minutes = 1 hour  
> 24 hours = 1 day  
> 5 days = 1 week: Primeday, Centaxday, Taungsday, Zhellday, Benduday  
> 7 weeks = 35 days = 1 month  
> 10 months + 3 festival weeks + 3 holidays = 368 days = 1 year
> 
> Super thanks to my beta-reader(they're listed as co-creator).
> 
> Enjoy!

One month after Finn proposed…

  
  
  


Finn and Poe got married. They hadn’t planned on anything big. In fact, they planned on just having a few days together, somewhere quiet and romantic where they would make each other promise of commitment. That’s all it was going to be.

But somehow word got out that the two of them were getting married and that’s when Maz got involved. She had no problem coming in and taking over, throwing a big wedding that lasted three whole days and inviting the entire Resistance to the ranch on Yavin IV. And of course, Kes had no problem hosting a big party. Kes loved parties.

Poe had tried to argue with Maz, claiming that they hadn’t made a move on each other until then because of the Resistance but she ignored it and continued her party planning with Kes. Finn had asked Poe why he was so upset when he was going to get to see all of his friends. Poe was just sad they weren’t going to have their time with just the two of them.

Finn made a promise that they would have that when everyone left. Poe’s attitude about the wedding shifted to a more positive one after that.

As they were standing in front of everyone, Poe realized that it was probably really good for everyone to have an excuse to come together and see each other again. More people showed up than he’d expected. Even Zorii dropped by. He realized that Maz, Finn, and his dad were all probably on to something when they’d argued with him about the wedding.

While they were up there, Lando led a short ceremony. Poe knew that if Leia were there, it would’ve been her. But Lando had been a great mentor and ally for Finn and Poe while they were leading the Resistance on the tail end of a war.

Lando started by talking about all the bets people had made on when the two of them would get together. The only person who got it right was Leia. Finn and Poe weren’t surprised by that at all. What they had been surprised at was the fact that Leia had left the money in the betting pool specifically for the wedding. Of course, she would do that.

After crying in front of the entire Resistance, at least a large chunk of what was left of it, Finn and Poe continued to be the excuse for the party for three whole days. By the third day, they were exhausted. Rey helped them pack a few bags and flew them to a destination away from the mess that was the Dameron Homestead to relax for a few days. She promised she’d come to visit them again soon before saying goodbye.

Then Finn and Poe had the time they’d planned on. It was just the two of them. They made their promises to each other and then they rested.

And the next day, Poe woke up earlier than he normally did because he was sick. They’d thought it was because of the last few days of excitement and all the food Poe probably should have avoided better. But if that were the case, it wouldn’t have happened every day for a month. It seemed as if it was getting progressively worse too. It worried Finn. He tried to help Poe figure out what was making him sick and then it stopped.

One night when Finn thought Poe was getting up to throw up again, he heard him in the kitchen and went to investigate. He was eating leftovers from the fridge. Finn felt relief. It meant that Poe wasn’t feeling sick. He didn’t question it until it became a pattern too. One night he walked in the kitchen to find Poe eating some of  _ his  _ pickles. Poe hated anything pickled. When he made a comment about it, Poe got all defensive. Finn just let Poe be. If waking up in the middle of the night to snack helped Poe keep from getting sick, that was fine. He could get used to that.

Eventually, that phase passed too. Finn wondered if Poe had suffered from some kind of posttrauma-related thing. Maybe he wasn’t used to being a civilian yet. Or maybe he was missing flying. That had to be it.

Either way, Poe was getting better. Although, those mood swings Poe had warned Finn about back when he’d been explaining his heat cycle were starting to come into effect. Finn even started looking into treatments for hormone-related mood swings on the holonet without telling Poe for fear of triggering a mood swing.

As confusing as it was trying to keep up with all of Poe’s weird phases, Finn preferred it to being in the middle of a war. In fact, when he compared it to that, he didn’t mind at all. However, when he started having bizarre and confusing dreams that he could not explain, he started to struggle with that optimism.

Three months after the wedding, Rey was finally coming to visit as she’d promised. Finn was looking forward to having someone to talk to besides Poe about the dreams. Three months after the wedding was also when they planned on getting a family started. Finn wasn’t going to complain about what that did to the relationship between him and his husband. Something about it lit a fire they didn’t know they needed. Finn didn’t know they could have so much sex. It made him wonder if there was such a thing as too much.

Finn had been soundly asleep when he felt the familiar touch of Poe’s lips against his neck. It sent shivers down his spine waking up every cell in his body like a brush fire. They usually slept facing each other, much closer than most people would be comfortable with even if they were married. They both needed the touch and the comfort of the other. So when Finn shifted onto his back, Poe was swift to fling a leg over him and lay right on top of him.

They laid like that for a few minutes before Poe started kissing him again. Finn was more awake this time and guided Poe’s lips away from his neck and toward his face. Poe’s lips finally touched Finn’s, soft and warm until they both smiled.

Poe sat up and Finn opened his eyes to smile up at his husband. But right away his smile faded to a look of concern and he too sat up quickly. “What?” Poe asked.

“Your nose is bleeding,” Finn said.

“Aaagh!” Poe groaned, immediately throwing his head back and plugging his nose. Finn quickly grabbed a few tissues from beside their bed and gave them to Poe. He even wiped at the drop that was about to roll off his chin before it dribbled. “Aw. Thank you. You’re so sweet,” Poe cooed as he stuffed an entire tissue up the nostril that was leaking blood while he was still looking up at the ceiling.

When Poe looked at Finn, he had a few specks of missed blood on his lip and the tissue was sticking out of his nose with drying blood on it. Finn laughed at him. “Good morning,” he said, sleep still evident in his voice.

Poe laughed. He seemed surprisingly awake for Poe. “Good morning, sleepyhead. I was wondering when you’d wake up.” He fussed with the tissue in his nose a bit before looking at Finn expectantly.

“We were up really late,” Finn said. He thought back to the night before. “Really late.” Poe just shrugged. “You hungry?” Finn could feel his own stomach growling. The activities from the night before were sure to blame.

“Why? Are you going to make me breakfast?” Poe asked.

“If you let me get up, I will,” Finn said. Poe moved off of Finn’s lap and Finn started to get out of bed. But he turned to Poe and asked, “Are you ok?”

Poe furrowed his brows, confused at what Finn meant. He felt fine. He hoped he wasn’t giving Finn the impression that he was upset or something. He knew he’d been struggling with his reactions to things recently but he felt good that day. Then it dawned on him. Finn meant the blood coming from his nose. “Oh. No. I’m fine. It’s probably allergies.”

Finn watched as Poe got out of bed. He admired the look of his soft, bare skin as he moved across their bedroom with no clothes on. Poe grabbed some clothes from their shared wardrobe and made for the fresher. “You can join me if you want to save water,” Poe called back to his husband as he left the room.

Finn sighed. Poe was making him an irresistible offer, one he knew was irresistible because he didn’t want Finn to resist. Finn had no choice but to join Poe in the fresher. “Gotta save water,” he muttered to himself. There was no shortage of water on Yavin IV. But any excuse to be with Poe when he was in a good mood.

  
  


Poe was drinking some caf while Finn made breakfast for them, sliced fruit and toasted bread. He sat on a barstool across the counter from Finn, admiring him. Finn looked amazing. The soft edges of his face made him look so young but the solid bone structure beneath his dark, soft complexion gave him the likeness of a bold leader. The same descriptors that described his appearance could be used to describe his character: soft yet bold. And, “Delicious,” according to Poe.

“I know,” Finn said, not bothering to look up from the juicy slices of koyo he was neatly laid out onto two plates. He liked the juice from his fingers. “Mm. So juicy,” Finn marveled, sliding a plate across the counter for Poe.

“I was talking about you, General, not the food,” Poe said. When Finn finally looked up at him to blush, his mouth was already full of toasted bread. Poe winked and took a much smaller bite than Finn had. He loved making his husband blush. “Mm. Wow,” Poe said, making a face. “That koyo is just this side of overripe.”

“Isn’t it great?” Finn said, eyes wide in wonder.

Poe nodded. “Oh, that’s a lot of flavor. And a lot of sugar.” He shivered at the pure sweetness of the fruit. “Wow, that’s sweet.” Poe slid the rest of the slices onto the bread, hoping to dull the sweetness of the fruit just enough so that it felt more palatable. “It’s almost as sweet as you,” Poe commented.

“You’re really laying on the compliments today,” Finn pointed out.

“Oh, buddy, you deserve it,” Poe said. He took a bite of the crunchy bread now topped with sugary, sweet koyo slices. “Mm.” That’s better. “You deserve all of the praise,” he said, cheeking his mouthful of food. He closed his eyes as he chewed, remembering the pleasure of the night before. “Finn, I don’t know how you do it.”

“I get a feeling you’re not talking about breakfast,” Finn said.

“Last night…”

“Yup.”

“... was incredible.”

“Oh? Is that why you’re in such a good mood today?” Finn asked. He leaned over the counter on his elbows, holding back a smug grin. “Maybe I should do that to you every night then.”

“Force please,” Poe practically moaned. “I have always respected the force and the Jedi and all of that. But I don’t think any Jedi Master would approve of the way you were using it last night.”

“Good thing you’re no Jedi Master,” Finn said, reaching across the counter to steal a sip of Poe’s caf. “And good thing I’m no Jedi.”

“Speaking of Jedi…” Poe said, spotting an opening for a subject change, not that he didn’t enjoy flirting with his husband. “What have you heard from Rey?”

“She’ll be here either tonight or tomorrow morning with Lando.”

“What about Chewie?” Poe asked. Usually, Chewie went everywhere with Rey.

Finn furrowed his brows. “Rey said he was visiting family?” Poe made a face and Finn shook his head. “Yeah. I don’t know either.”

“R2 and 3PO?” Poe asked.

“Not this time,” Finn said. “Rey lent them to Jannah-er-Destiny to aid in her campaign.” Recently, Jannah had been going by Destiny more and more. That was her birth name, Destiny Calrissian. “Still don’t know what to call her…” Finn muttered. 

Poe shook his head in agreement. He couldn’t imagine trying to call Finn something else if they ever found out his birth name. “I don’t know either. But how would 3PO be helpful in any scenario? That’s what I don’t understand,” Poe said, genuine confusion in his tone. “Also, I’m surprised Lando is coming. I thought he would stay with Jannah.”

Finn shrugged. “Rey said he was tired and thought it would be nice for him to get away from it all for a while. I already talked to your dad about it and he seemed pretty thrilled to have an old Rebellion friend stay for a while.”

“Hm,” Poe hummed. “Yeah. Dad gets lonely. He’ll enjoy that.” Dinah still hadn’t moved in with him yet and even with Finn and Poe there all the time, he still got lonely.

Recently, Finn had been spending a lot more time with Kes. Poe cared about the homestead. He really did. But Finn’s interest and passions were much more in line with Kes’s when it came to running the farm. Poe was a relieved Finn was showing interest in taking up the family business because Poe had little faith in himself to make his dad proud in that fashion. So while Finn stayed on the ranch and worked with Kes, Poe went into town and worked a few shifts a week under Ursa. Much like at home, he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen but he was good at keeping customers coming back with his good looks and charming personality. And people always loved to hear his stories of adventure.

“You look good today,” Finn blurted.

“Today?” Poe said, almost sounding offended at the compliment.

“You look good every day but…” Finn squinted at Poe. He couldn’t quite place what was different about him but he just radiated something that day that gave Finn good vibrations. “You look extra good today.” Then it hit him. “There’s more color to your face. That’s what it is.”

“That’s cause I can’t look at you without blushing,” Poe teased. Finn rolled his eyes as Poe took another bite. “Mm. I gotta go. I told Ursa I would cover an extra shift today since Rey is coming tomorrow.” He got up from his stool and they both moved around the edge of the counter to kiss goodbye. Finn was surprised when Poe’s kiss was so fervent. “Have fun with the Sarge.”

Finn wrapped his arms around Poe before he could get away. Poe looked at him as if he was going to tell him something but Finn just held him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

The look on Poe’s face softened. “Even when I have mood swings?”

“You’ve always had mood swings,” Finn said. Finn could think of more than a few times Poe’s temper had gotten the best of him over the past two years. “They are particularly terrifying now because I did not know that side of you existed. But I know that’s not really you.” Yes. It was normal for Poe to be hot-headed and throw a few wrenches to blow off some steam when he had a reason to be upset. But what terrified Finn when Poe would just break down crying over something that didn’t need to be cried over.

“I did warn you before we flushed the rest of that medication down the toilet,” Poe said.

“You did but it's worth it if you’re feeling better,” Finn said. He squeezed Poe a little tighter and kissed his forehead. “I still love you.” He noticed Poe tearing up, trying to hold it back. “You’re having a mood swing right now, aren't you?”

Poe sighed and shook his head. “I hate this. I hate this so much,” Poe said, reaching a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You can’t say nice things like that and not expect me to have a meltdown when I’m all hormonal like this.”

“What is it?” Finn asked curiously. “Is it the hormones in general or the specific time in the cycle?”

“I don’t know,” Poe said, his face still buried in his hands. “I really don’t know. Maybe we need to look into some kind of treatment or something because this is ridiculous. Just a minute ago I was in an incredibly good mood and then all of a sudden I just want to cry.”

Finn rubbed at Poe’s back hoping to help. “I’m sorry. I’ll start looking into things. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Finn already had a few ideas since he’d done some research himself ahead of time. But he’d continue that research to be extra thorough and maybe even talk to Dinah about it. “That sound good?”

Poe removed his hands from his face and nodded. “Thank you.”

“You want to stay here until it passes?” Finn asked.

“No. Give it ten minutes and I’ll be good as new,” Poe said, shaking loose of Finn’s grip and sighing. “I’ll try and walk it off.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Poe said, blinking back some more tears.

“Okay,” Finn said, putting his hands up in surrender.

Poe furrowed his brows at Finn. “You don’t have to be all patronizing about it,” Poe snapped at him.

Finn looked at Poe very unimpressed. “What happened to walking it off?”

Poe’s jaw tightened as hot anger suddenly coursed through his veins. Finn was familiar with Poe’s anger by now. He’d always had that temper. But it was usually triggered by reasonably upsetting things and not the way Finn looked or sounded when he said things. Poe abruptly spun around and left the house, not neglecting to slam the door.

Ten minutes later, Poe came back inside and apologized. Of course, Finn didn’t hold it against him. Poe couldn’t control himself in those moments. The feelings felt real to him which meant the guilt afterward was real. Finn made him finish his breakfast before he left for town.

Finn watched as Poe got onto the little speeder bike he’d fixed up in the hanger and made for town. When he was gone, he left to greet Kes out in his beloved vegetable garden. “Morning, Kes.”

“Hey, son. Poe leave already?” Kes asked, looking up from the spot he was pulling weeds from.

“Yeah. He wanted to take a few days off while Rey is here,” Finn said.

“How’s he doing?” Finn had mentioned to Kes that Poe had been feeling a little off lately. But he never really elaborated on it much. He wasn’t sure how much Kes really needed to know. Or how much Poe wanted him to know.

Finn knew one thing Kes already knew though. “He’s still a mess if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Kes laughed. “I’d be concerned if he wasn’t at this point.”

“Me too.”

[ Update Schedule ](https://sites.google.com/view/r-robinsnest/home)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy Chapter 2!

Kes ran out of things for him and Finn to do that day so he decided then would be a good time to bombard him with pictures of Poe from years ago. He’d been meaning to show them to Finn for a long time but with the second harvest season keeping them busy, he never got around to it. Poe was thrilled and not at all surprised when Kes showed him pictures of Poe playing pretend with his mother; Han Solo and Princess Leia. The catch was that Poe was pretending he was Leia. Finn would definitely bring that up with Poe later.

Finn looked down at the image of a young man. He had a rounder face and softer skin. His hair was pushed back, a few messy curls sticking out. But there was a darkness in his eyes. Finn could see the unhappiness there. “How old was he in this one?”

“Sixteen,” Kes said. “Wasn’t much later than that and he was off running spice,” Kes said, shaking his head in disapproval. He patted the top of Maury’s dome as he thought back to those lonely days. Often it was just him and that droid missing Poe. L’ulo and JayZee were there too. But that was a distant memory now.

“He looks very unhappy,” Finn said.

“Yeah. Well, he was a bit more hormonal back then. Easy to upset,” Kes said dismissively. He offered another photo to Finn.

“I know all about that,” Finn said, huffing as he took the next photo. Poe was probably a few years older in this one, working on something out in the hangar. He wasn’t wearing a shirt but he was covered in grease. Not much has changed. He didn’t notice the look Kes was giving him.

“That so?” Kes asked curiously, his tone asking for more.

Finn glanced up at him. “Yeah. He’s not taking his medication anymore and he’s starting to have mood swings again. But we think his medication was what was making him sick.”

Kes still looked curious. “I thought the mood swings only affected adolescents.”

“Apparently not cause Poe will have a meltdown over the smallest thing,” Finn said.

  
“Oh, I remember. You have no idea how many things Poe broke when he was just starting to have them. I might as well have had an angry Wookie for a son,” Kes said, remembering those days.

“He broke things?” Finn asked.

“Oh yeah. You’ve seen him throw wrenches in the hangar. Imagine that but one hundred times worse,” Kes said. He trailed off looking at Finn and squinting. “You haven’t had to deal with that?”

Finn shook his head. “No. I mean, sometimes he will snap at me for something but usually, he just cries.” Finn paused and looked at Kes wide-eyed. “Don’t tell him I told you that.”

“He cries?” Kes asked confused. “Over what?”

Finn shrugged. “Apparently, I was too nice to him this morning. That did it.” Kes blinked. He stared at Finn silently, in disbelief before he burst out into laughter. Finn shook his head and turned his attention back to the photo. “How old was he in this one?”

Kes didn’t answer until his laughter died down. “Maybe twenty-three. Somewhere around there. Before he left for the Navy.” Kes handed the next picture to Finn. It was Poe in a blue uniform. Now that looked like Poe. The determined grin and sparkle in his eyes. “Blue isn’t really his color,” Kes said. “I like that poster of him in the orange flight suit better.”

Finn knew the poster Kes was talking about. Someone had painted it as a joke but it got around the holonet as a form of recruitment into the Resistance. Poe did look quite handsome in it. But the blue made him look more boyish. The picture captured Poe’s fire, that hope that was fueling him. It was missing the pain that the war caused him, the pain Finn saw in Poe’s eyes almost every day. He saw it a lot less now that they were home.

“He didn’t know what was in store for him,” Finn commented. “He didn’t know then all that he was needed for. I bet he never would’ve guessed that Leia Organa would’ve appointed him as her successor in one of the most important wars in the galaxy.”

“I know I didn’t,” Kes said. “I never wanted him to leave. I wanted my son to stay put. Whenever he left I always imagined the worst, that he would be killed and never return. I never let myself believe he would go as far as he did.” Kes smiled. “I’ve never been so happy to be proven so profoundly wrong. But leave it to Poe.”

“Leave it to the force,” Finn corrected. Almost as soon as he said it, he felt it. There was a familiar light pulling at him.

Kes laughed and pointed at Finn. “You might be onto something there, Pal.”

Finn felt the warmth grow closer. With less distance, it became more distinct, more achingly familiar. He felt her smile. “Rey,” he said, getting up from the couch in Kes’s living room. He walked over to the window and looked up at the sky, searching for that ship.

“What?” Kes asked, confused.

Finn heard the familiar sound of the Falcon. He knew the sound of that engine from anywhere. “She’s here,” Finn said before shoving the door open, leaving Kes and Maury in the dust.

Kes sat on the couch and blinked. What had just happened?

Finn practically slid down the stairs to get to the ship as it landed. He waved enthusiastically as it lowered in front of the hangar and landed. As soon as the ramp opened, BB-8 was on the edge of it, whirling wildly. “BB-8! Buddy! Poe is going to be so happy to see you!” BB-8 had painstakingly left with Rey after the wedding. She needed a hand. Poe knew he would miss BB-8 but since he was home and he had a husband to keep him company and there weren’t a million other things to be upset about, he let BB-8 go with Rey.

BB-8 bumped into Finn’s legs, pushing past him searching for Poe. “He’s not home yet, buddy.” BB-8 made a sad sound. “He’ll be here soon,” Finn assured him.

“So how’s married life treating you?” a familiar deep voice bellowed.

Finn spun around. “Lando,” he said, pushing forward and opening up his arms to hug his old friend. “It’s good to see you.”

“Ah. You too, Finn,” Lando said, giving Finn a brief hug. “Poe not home yet?”

“I guess we arrived a little earlier than we expected to,” another voice said. Finn immediately started to laugh joyfully as he walked up the ramp to wrap Rey up in a hug. “I hope Poe won’t be too mad that I kept BB-8 away from him for so long.”

“Oh Rey,” he said, squeezing her tightly. He was learning how to hug like a Dameron. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Finn,” she said, hugging him back. She pulled back. “Now what is it I hear about these dreams you’ve been having?”

Finn heard Kes and Lando greeting each other a few feet away, Maury at their feet beeping up at them. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about that just yet, not in front of Lando and Kes. “We’ll talk about that later.”

Before Rey could ask for more, Kes was prying her away from Finn and showing her what a real Dameron hug was like. Finn saw BB-8 reuniting with D-O in the grass. He watched fondly as Rey approached them to say hello to the familiar little droid. “Hey, old friend,” she said.

“He-hello.” D-O rolled back and forth, observing her. “D-O missed friend Rey.”

Rey smiled. “Maybe this time when I go, I will take you with me and leave BB-8 here with Finn and Poe.” BB-8 turned and said something to D-O before the two of them rolled off, leaving the humans to themselves.

It wasn’t long after that when they heard the sound of Poe’s speeder echoing through the jungle as it made its approach. Poe slid to a jerky stop right in front of them. “Rey! Lando!” he greeted them with open arms before jumping down from the speeder. “Where’s my droid?”

“It’s good to see you too, Poe,” Rey said.

Poe pointed an accusatory finger at her. “What did you do to him this time? Use him as ammunition?” Rey crossed her arms and sent an unimpressed look in Poe’s direction. Poe smacked her on the arm. “I’m just kidding. I missed you,” he said, giving her a hug, somewhere between what Finn’s was and the bone-crushing one Kes gave her.

They pulled back and Poe was smiling at her, looking energized and full of life. “You look good, Poe,” she said.

Poe seemed only slightly taken aback before he rolled with it. “Sorry, I’m already taken,” he said, gesturing to Finn and laughing at his own joke.

“I’m serious,” she said. “You look really well.”

“I feel well,” Poe retorted dismissively before turning to give Lando a greeting. “General Calrissian.”

“Hey, Poe,” Lando said. Something about Lando’s voice was just so warm, like a hug itself. And that smile was oddly familiar but in a way that Poe couldn’t place. A handshake turned into a hug and a pat on the shoulder. “She’s right you know. Getting away from it all has done you good. You’ve got color back in your face.”

Poe furrowed his brows and looked between Lando and Rey. “Did Finn put you guys up to this?” Poe looked at Finn, who he just then realized was looking at him very concerned. His brows were furrowed and his lips were pouting. “What?”

“What happened?” he asked and reached up towards Poe’s face. He brushed his thumb against Poe’s lip where there was a small dried scab and a bruise forming. “Get in a fight?” Finn didn’t seem happy with him at all because he wasn’t.

Poe huffed. “Yeah. A guy grabbed my ass so I kicked him out of the cantina. Couldn’t take a hint so he decided to wait for me outback. Not going to lie, kicking his ass felt great.” Poe smiled but Finn still seemed unhappy.

“Did he hurt you?”

“He only managed to get the one swing in,” Poe assured Finn. “You should see the other guy.”

Finn hated it. It wasn’t really that he didn’t want Poe working at the cantina or picking fights with people. He knew Poe liked it and probably needed it. But he could not allow Poe to be a part of those things if there was even a remote possibility that he could be carrying their unborn child in the near future.

“Where is my droid? I want to see him,” Poe said, bringing back the topic of BB-8. He wanted to see the little guy. 

“We’re not done with this,” Finn promised Poe as his husband started following the little trail in the grass that BB-8 had left behind. Poe let out a cry of joy when he saw BB-8 barreling towards him and nearly collapsed to the ground to hug his friend.

Kes, Rey, Lando, and Finn all stood and watched as Poe sat in the grass with BB-8 nestled between his legs and wrapped in his arms. He sobbed, earning beeps of concern and sympathy from the little droid. “Huh,” Kes huffed. “I see what you mean, Finn.”

Rey leaned towards Finn. “Was being separated from BB-8 really that bad for him?” she asked.

“He’s barely even mentioned it,” Finn assured her. Poe was handling it way better than the last time Rey had taken BB-8. “He’s just overwhelmed…” Finn tried to explain, using a rolling hand motion. “... with joy.” BB-8 turned to beep at Finn and ask what was wrong with Poe. Finn just stood there and blinked. It was a good question.

“Who’s hungry?” Kes blurted, clapping his hands together. Kes put an arm around Lando’s shoulder and started telling him all about the meal he was thinking of preparing for dinner. Rey stayed next to Finn for a moment, looking between him and Poe concerned. But Finn nudged his head in the direction of the house, signaling her to follow Kes and Lando.

Once the others were closer to the house, Finn walked up to Poe. “Hey, we’re going inside,” he told him. He gently nudged him with his leg. Poe leaned back against Finn’s legs, craning his neck to look up at him with his tear-soaked eyes. “Hey,” Finn said softly.

Poe sniffled and wiped at the tears with his fingers. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” he said. He used his wrist to wipe the other side of his face. BB-8 cooed at Poe and rolled back and forth in an attempt to get more out of Poe. Poe looked at BB-8. “Thanks, Pal. But I’m really okay.”

“You hungry?” Finn asked Poe, running his fingers through Poe’s hair.

“I’m starving,” Poe replied. Finn held his hand out for Poe to grab and helped him up to his feet. As soon as Poe was on his feet again, Finn wrapped his arms around him from behind and kissed the side of his face. Poe laughed. “Hello there, General,” Poe said suggestively.

Finn pressed another kiss to the side of Poe’s lips when he looked back at him. “Besides the fight, did you have a good day?” Finn asked.

Poe nodded. “Yeah. In fact, I would say that the only parts of my day that have been unpleasant were the mood swings. Of course, I wouldn’t say that I liked getting my ass grabbed by a stranger but beating him up was thrilling in a way that I ultimately enjoyed.”

Finn sighed in annoyance. “I hate that.” He reached down and grabbed Poe’s ass. “That’s mine,” he said playfully, causing Poe to spin around as he laughed.

“What about you? Did my dad bore you with more biology lessons?” Poe asked, rolling his eyes.

“Actually,” Finn said. “We ran out of things to do today so he decided to finally show me some pictures of you.”

“No,” Poe said, going straight-faced.

“Yes.”

Poe sighed.

“Am I allowed to say that you were a very good-looking sixteen-year-old?” Finn asked.

“I’ll allow it but only because we’re married,” Poe said. “So you saw pictures of me when I was a teen, huh? Was I cute?”

“Of course, you were,” Finn said, brushing back some of Poe’s curls. “You’ve always been cute.” Poe smiled at the compliment. “But you’ve never been cuter than when you were dressed up as Leia-”

“You saw that?” Poe asked, sounding only slightly embarrassed.

Finn nodded. “You make a good princess,” he teased.

Poe huffed. “Damn right I do.”

Finn laughed. “How old were you?”

Poe shrugged. “Maybe seven?”

“You were cute,” Finn said fondly.

Poe’s expression went soft. “Imagine having a bunch in miniature Finn’s and Poe’s running around.”

Finn could imagine it. At one point, he’d been a bit wary of the idea of starting a family so soon but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to wait. He wanted to meet those little people that he could call his own. “We’ll work on that later tonight,” Finn said. It was more of a playful promise than a remark of suggestion.

They seemed to have forgotten BB-8 was right there until he chose that moment to beep at them in shock. Poe pulled back from Finn just a little bit to look down at their friend. “Beebee, that is none of your business.” BB-8 let out a series of dramatic warbles and beeps, shaking his head as he rolled off towards the house. Poe sighed and turned his attention back to Finn. “Can you believe the attitude?” Poe shook his head and tisked in disapproval.

“Yeah,” Finn said absentmindedly as he moved to put an arm around Poe’s shoulder and walk him to the house. “Come on, Princess. Let’s go eat.”

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	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it all the way to chapter three! Only 12 more to go ;) Enjoy!

Rey was getting much better at table manners. Poe remembered watching her and Finn sitting across a table from him devouring food faster than he thought humanly possible. Both of them had come a long way in two years.

Kes kept up a lively conversation with everyone, asking Rey and Lando a handful of questions. Maury sat at Poe’s feet, always ready to clean up after him. Standing-by was JayZee, reading to serve their new guests. She’d prepared the rooms, elated as a droid could be to have guests. Once they’d gotten their fill of dinner, they all started to pick up after themselves. Kes told Lando about the fishing hole he’d taken Finn to recently and offered to take them up for a day if that was his sort of thing. “That would be incredible. I promised Rey that one of these days, I would show her the old rebel base.”

Rey smiled at Lando. “I’ve heard many stories.”

“You definitely need to visit,” Kes said.

“Yeah,” Poe agreed. “Just watch out for the woolamanders.”

“The what?” Rey asked.

“Monkeys,” said Finn. “Poe hates them.”

“They have it out for me,” Poe swore.

Finn shook his head. “He’s paranoid.” Poe elbowed him.

“I look forward to all that, maybe aside from the monkeys, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to get some rest,” Lando said. There was something less warm about his voice than normal. He sounded tired. But he was still trying to be warm. “We’ve been traveling for a while.”

“Of course!” Kes said. “Let me show you to your room. I’m sure you’re exhausted. Jayzee, would you accompany us, please?” Kes and Lando got up from the table and started towards the room Lando would stay in as the friendly service droid followed them.

Rey, Finn, and Poe remained seated at the table while Kes helped Lando get settled. They bid their goodnights to Lando before falling silent, not uncomfortably though. Rey eventually felt Finn and Poe looking at her a certain way, knowing something felt off about Lando. “He hasn’t been sleeping well,” is all she could explain. She shrugged. “He doesn’t really talk about it.”

Finn could see the sympathetic look in Rey’s eyes. She’d probably been trying to get Lando to talk about it for a while with no luck. He reached across the table and caressed her hand. “I’m sure he’s got whatever it is under control,” he assured Rey. “And he’ll talk about it when he’s ready.”

Rey nodded and patted Finn’s hand appreciatively. She turned to Poe. “So how are you feeling? You look like you’re doing so much better than the last time I saw you.”

Poe blinked. The last Rey had seen him was when she’d dropped them off after their wedding. “What’s that supposed to mean? I was fine the last time you saw me.” Poe looked at Finn. “Why do people keep telling me that I look good?”

“Cause you do,” Finn said.

“Did you put them up to this?” Poe asked.

“Now why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. To make me feel good about myself.” Poe raised his eyebrows suggestively. “To make me feel sexy.”

As Finn rolled his eyes, Rey assured Poe, “No one told me to say that. You genuinely seem to be doing really well and it’s great to see it, Poe.”

“You did wake up sick every day for a month after everyone left,” Finn reminded Poe. He wasn’t going to tell Poe that he’d looked pretty sick at the time but he was going to let it be implied with a look. He hoped Poe wouldn’t take it too personally.

He didn’t. “Hm.” Poe supposed that was true. Maybe he had looked a little sick during their wedding. He’d have to look at photos to know for sure.

“You’re feeling better now then?” Rey asked.

Poe shrugged. “Mostly. It comes and goes sometimes but I’m usually okay now. Better than I have been in a long time, at least.”

“Well, we’re just letting you know that it’s showing,” Rey told Poe. “You look like you’re feeling better. You seem really happy.”

“I am happy,” Poe said, smiling at Finn and nudging his leg under the table. “Why today though? It’s not like I woke up and by some miracle, I’m just-” Poe snapped his mouth shut when Finn’s eyebrows popped up, sending him a discrete look of suggestion. Maybe it was because of Finn. Poe’s face turned a darker color of red and he held back a grin. “You’re right. It’s Finn’s fault.”

“Finn’s fault?” Rey sounded confused. “I never said anything about Finn.”

Finn kept looking at Poe like  _ that _ , bordering on something predatory. Poe knew that look. It wasn’t something he’d seen Finn do to anyone else. It was his ‘you’re mine’ look. Even after a week full of those looks and four months of those looks peppered throughout good and bad days, it still made Poe weak. It made him feel all tingly.

“Stop that,” Poe snapped, popping Finn on the thigh. He was quick to lace his fingers with Finn’s before Finn tried to get handsy with him in front of Rey. Not that Finn even needed his hands to do anything to him if the night before had taught them anything.

Rey’s eyes were wide and unblinking when Finn and Poe turned their attention back to her. “Um… you know, I might just sleep in the  _ Falcon  _ tonight,” she said, her voice a little higher and uneasy than it normally was. Finn and Poe looked at each other guiltily. “I don’t want to-” she put her hand up and shook her head. “I’d rather not hear-”

“Oh! Don’t worry. We weren’t-” Finn sputtered. “We weren’t gonna  _ do  _ anything.” Finn laughed nervously and nudged Poe.

“Right! And even if we were there’s an entire room between our room and the room you’re sleeping in. You wouldn’t hear anything,” Poe said. The look he received from Finn told him that was the wrong thing to say. “We can even put some clothes in the wash to cover it up if it’s not enough.”

Finn and Rey both rolled their eyes and groaned.

“Hey, look,” Poe said, frowning. “In our defense we’re…” He lowered his voice. “We’re trying to-”

“Poe!” Finn tried to stop him.

Poe glared at Finn. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Finn scoffed. “ _ I’m _ impossible? You’re the one trying to tell Rey something  _ very private _ and I’m the one who is impossible?”

Poe looked at Rey straight-faced. “He totally killed the mood anyway so… no need to do any laundry tonight.”

“Oh my…” Finn sighed and closed his eyes in frustration. “Fine. You really want to tell her? Go ahead.”

“Trying to what?” Rey asked. “I’m not sure I want to know.”

Poe shook his head. “Sorry. I can’t tell you that,” he said pettily. “It’s private information.”

Finn and Poe shared a look, a long uncomfortable-for-anyone-watching look. Poe was getting his way whether Finn liked it or not. Finn sighed and looked at Rey. “We’re trying to get pregnant,” he said. He looked at Poe. “There. Are you happy?”

Poe snapped his head at Finn. “Hey, it’s not like I  _ wanted  _ her to know either. But you had to go and call me ‘impossible’,” Poe said using air quotes. “So now it’s your problem.”

Finn blinked at Poe. There were so many things wrong with what he just said. Petty. Sometimes Poe could be incredibly petty. And unreasonable. And just an idiot overall and it was in those moments when Finn wondered what he’d gotten himself into. But those moments were fueled by some kind of passion for the little things in life. In this particular moment, Finn had to assume that his passion was fueled by hormones.

“You’re trying to get pregnant?” Rey asked carefully. She was trying to reign both of them back in from the little lovers’ tiff they were having at the moment. It seemed to work since they both nodded. “Hm,” she hummed curiously. “Now how does that work exactly?”

“And that’s why I was trying to keep you from just blurting out that information,” Finn told Poe. “Once people hear that, they’re going to ask more questions that you might not be prepared to answer.”

Poe had a sheepish look on his face before he looked to Rey to give her some answers. “I’m near-human, a rare subspecies.” Poe felt like that’s all Rey really needed to know. That’s all anyone really needed to know other than himself, Finn, and a few others.

“Huh… interesting. I had no idea,” she said.

Poe shrugged. “It’s not a secret but it isn’t public knowledge either.”

“Well, it won’t be that way for much longer,” Rey pointed out with a warm smile.

“We hope so,” Finn said, putting an arm around Poe’s shoulders and kissing his temple. Whatever mood had come over him had already passed. Finn thought it must be exhausting to have emotions just whip through him like that.

Rey smiled even bigger once it sunk in that her friends were starting a family, that they would have children running around them soon. It was a beautiful image in her mind. “I’m really happy for you guys. That’s so exciting!” She lowered her voice. “Does Kes know?”

Finn and Poe shook their heads frantically.

“Does Kes know what?” Kes said, walking back into the room, hearing the tail end of the conversation. Rey spun around, making it three pairs of eyes on Kes. He had perfect timing. He stood there with his hands on his hips. “What?”

Rey had quick thinking, waving her hand in his direction and saying, “You don’t need to know.”

Kes chuckled and shrugged easily. “Eh. It’s okay. I don’t need to know,” he said and walked into the kitchen to put away from clean dishes with the help of JayZee. Maury was at his feet, eager to vacuum up something, anything.

Rey looked back at Finn and Poe. “Maybe now would be a good time to get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Finn said abruptly standing up. “Come on, Poe. Let’s show Rey her room.”

They all said their goodnights to Kes before leaving the house. As soon as the door shut Poe asked, “Did you just use a Jedi mind trick on my dad?”

“He would have known something was up otherwise,” Finn defended.

“Have you ever done that to me?” Poe asked Rey.

Rey laughed. “Of course, not,” she said very unconvincingly.

Poe frowned and stopped in his tracks. He looked at Finn as he was passing him. “Is she telling the truth?”

Finn sputtered and laughed. “Come on. What possible reason is there for her to do that to you? It’s not like you’re an extremely difficult person or anything like that,” Finn said as he kept walking towards their house.

Poe huffed when Finn and Rey chuckled. “S’not funny, guys!” Poe said and walked faster to catch up with them.

  
  


Finn had helped Rey settle into the guest room before he freshened up and went to bed with Poe. Poe was already in bed, the activities of the day catching up with him and making him tired. “Rey like her bed?” Poe asked, eyes closed, the sound o sleep already invading the tone of his voice. 

As Finn stripped down into something more comfortable, he said, “Yeah. She didn’t seem to have any problems with it. I’m sure she’ll sleep great.” Finn pulled the shirt over his head and grabbed up his pile of clothes to toss in a bin. He grabbed Poe’s clothes while he was at it since the man could never clean up after himself.

“Hm. Me too. I’m tired. Today was tiring,” Poe said with a heavy sigh.

Finn could tell he was already starting to drift off into sleep. “What happened to making a baby?”

Poe waved dismissively. “We’ll do that later.” He rolled onto his side and held his arms out to Finn expectantly. Poe liked to hold Finn while they slept. Finn didn’t mind. It was comforting to be held so often and he slept fine that way. As soon as Finn snuggled up in Poe’s arms the way he liked him to, Poe closed his eyes and nearly gave in to the sleep.

“Hey, don’t go to sleep yet,” Finn said, running his fingers through the curls of Poe’s hair. It was longer now than Finn had ever seen it, almost down to his shoulders. Poe usually put part of it back in a rubber band during the day but at night it was free-flowing. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Poe took in a deep breath and shifted to keep himself awake more. He squinted at Finn. “Am I in trouble?”

Finn immediately laughed quietly. He shook his head. “No,” he kissed Poe on the forehead. “You’re not in trouble. Not exactly. No.”

Poe was curious now. “What is it?”

Finn sighed. He wasn’t sure how to go about this exactly. He didn’t want to upset Poe but he also wanted to protect him. “I don’t know how I feel about you working at the cantina, Poe.”

Poe’s look of curiosity morphed into one of confusion. “What do you mean you don’t know how you feel about it? I work there? You either like it or you don’t.-”

“I don’t,” Finn blurted. Poe frowned at him and he clarified. “At least, not right now. Not when we’re trying to start a family, Poe.”

“Why not?” Poe asked. “It’s not like I’m drinking or anything? All that stuff makes me sick.”

“It’s not that, Poe,” Finn said. He paused, waiting for Poe to listen. “What if what happened today happened to you when you were pregnant?”

“But I’m not,” Poe argued.

“Someday you will be,” Finn retorted. “Any day now, you could be, and being in that environment is dangerous. I know that you like that kind of environment. Danger excites you. But it’s not just about us now, Poe.”

Poe stared at Finn for a moment. His brows slightly contorted into a sad expression. Finn thought that maybe he’d upset Poe. Maybe Poe felt guilty for getting into trouble. “Oh…” Poe said.

Finn reached up and rubbed Poe’s shoulder. “Poe, you understand, don’t you?” Poe nodded but he didn’t say anything. Which concerned Finn. “Are you mad?” Finn asked.

Poe shook his head, slowly breaking into a small grin. “No. I’m not mad. You’re right. I probably shouldn’t work there if we’re trying to start a family…” Poe continued to stare at Finn thoughtfully, holding back an even bigger grin.

“What?”

Poe let the smile break through, snuggling closer to his husband and touching their noses together. “You’re gonna be a really good dad.”

Finn let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Poe took it better than he thought he would. He seemed to be taking it pretty well actually. “That so?”

Poe nodded. “You’re kinda bossy,” he said, scrunching up his nose and smiling fondly at him.

“Me?  _ I’m  _ bossy?”

Poe laughed. “You’re also really protective. That’s sweet,” Poe said softer. “And nurturing.” Poe took a deep breath and sighed. “You’re gonna be really good at this.”

Finn brushed back a stray curl away from Poe’s face. “So will you.”

Poe shrugged, not seeming very convinced. “Maybe because I have you. But on my own, I think it would be too terrifying.” Poe sighed again, feeling slightly nervous in a way he couldn’t explain. “Actually, it’s already pretty terrifying now that I think about it…” Poe held his breath for a moment before he pushed it out with the words, “I could be pregnant right now.”

Finn smiled as he brought one of Poe’s hands up to his lips to kiss his knuckles gently. “Mhm.”

“That’s pretty freaky,” Poe said, feeling his heart flutter violently in his chest.

“Do you think you are?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know. But now I’m not going to be able to sleep because that’s all I can think about,” Poe said quickly, a bit of worry in his voice. “What if I am?”

Finn blinked, a little put off by Poe’s sudden panic. “Isn’t that what you want, Poe?”

“Well, yeah…” Poe said. He bit his lip and chewed on it anxiously. “I need to know.”

Finn sighed and held Poe a little tighter to give him a kiss on the forehead. “You need to sleep.” Finn reached out with his feelings and felt for the switch.

When the light went out, Poe asked, “Did you do that?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re getting good at that,” Poe complimented.

Finn chuckled, lowering his hand down to Poe’s ass and patting it. “You make for good practice, Princess,” he muttered halfway into his pillow.

“Hm. Is that what you’re going to call me from now on?”

All Poe got in response was a light kiss on the chin and a “Night, Princess.”

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	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter 4!

_ The sound of a child’s laughter echoed throughout the room. Finn blinked awake to find a young boy hovering over him and bouncing playfully. “Daddy, wake up,” he pleaded. _

_ Finn could feel the warmth in his chest. That boy was his son. He could feel it. “Are you hungry?” Finn’s voice felt deeper and rang more warmly than it normally did. Maybe that was what happened to a man’s voice after he became a father. The boy nodded and sat back as Finn sat up. “I don’t know why I asked. You’re always hungry,” Finn said, ruffling the boy’s hair as he got out of bed. _

_ Brief flashes of dishes and pots and pans and laughter and making a mess passed in front of Finn’s eyes before a loud bang and a scream erupted. _

_ Finn was somewhere else with the boy now. It was dark, only light by the light of two moons reflecting onto the sandy ground beneath their feet. It definitely wasn’t Yavin IV. This place was too dry, too dark even with two moons lighting its cold nights. _

_ The little boy was in tears now. They were surrounded by burning buildings and children screaming for their parents. “Daddy,” the boy said quietly, grabbing onto his father’s hand and tugging it. “Why are they here?” _

_ Finn got down on one knee and held the boy by the shoulders. “I have to contact someone. But I need you…” Finn could feel the heavy weight in his chest as he had to say the next words. “I need you to go get your sister. She’s in her carriage.” Finn took off the wristband that controlled the carriage and placed it in his son’s hands. “Take her to the hiding place under the stairs.” Finn felt himself force a comforting smile onto his own face. “Protect her.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The little boy nodded. “I will, Daddy.” _

_ Finn felt himself spinning. There were flashes of white masks and explosions and the feeling of something being ripped away from him. “Nooooooooooo,” he screamed until his throat was raw. He felt the wetness of tears and the feeling of electricity coursing through his veins. _

_ “I’ll protect her, Daddy,” the little boy promised as he ran after the carriage that was being sucked into a massive ship. _

_ “No!” Finn screamed. He saw a blaster aimed at his boy. “No!” The blaster shot through the air too fast, hitting the side of the ship and riquotteing off the metal, igniting a pile of kindling nearby. On the other side of the kindling was an explosive device. “Chance, get down!” _

_ Chance. The boy’s name was Chance. _

_ The last thing Finn saw was the image of his son, Chance, being thrown against the ship and consumed by a ball of fire. _

Finn sat up and took in a deep breath of air to help wake up from the dream. It was the same dream he’d been having for almost a month. It started out as just a dream about the boy. But each time he had it, it morphed into something more.

First, it was just an explosion. Then it was night. Then it was the burning buildings. Then it was the two moons. Then it was the sand. Then his son was dying. And now his son had a name.

_ The boy  _ had a name.

Finn startled at the sound of Poe snoring, jerking to look down at his husband. He’d shifted to lay on his back at some point and started snoring. Finn reached over to Poe’s shoulder and pulled him until he was on his side and stopped snoring.

He was unable to sleep for the rest of the night.

It was just the idea that this dream was a warning, a foreshadowing. Would his daughter and his son both be killed, taken by… something? And where was Poe in all of this? Were those even Poe’s children? Did something happen to Poe?

Finn hated it. It terrified him that this could be a vision of some kind, something the force was trying to warn him about. It scared him about having kids. He wanted kids with Poe. The idea gave him a warm feeling in his heart. But these dreams were tainting that want with fear. He was afraid of gaining those things only to lose them forever.

Unless that was a fear he’d already had in the first place and his dreams were just a manifestation of that fear. He’d thought about that as a possibility too. But these dreams felt real. Finn could taste the sand. It was familiar. Finn could smell the smoke and hear unidentified voices that he recognized.

This wasn’t just a dream.

Finn and Kes whipped up a nice hearty breakfast for everyone. Kes cut and prepared some vegetables while Finn fried them up, nice and hot. They served them with scrambled eggs and toasted bread and koyo nectar.

Poe could remember when Rey and Finn both ate ravenously as if they’d grown up never knowing when their next meal would come. To be fair, they probably had a good reason for that. But with time, they’d gotten better with their table manners.

Rey was better than Finn. Poe supposed that was because Finn loved food. He was always hungry. He acted like he was always starving. Rey was more dignified. Perhaps it was because of her time with Leia and, now, Lando. Had they rubbed off on her?

Rey smiled after the first bite of her toast. “I almost forgot how it tasted. Dinah really makes some of the finest nectar I’ve ever had.”

Kes nodded in agreement. “She really does.”

“Which reminds me, are we going to get to see her during our visit?” Rey asked.

“She usually comes every Benduday so she’ll probably come tonight,” Kes answered.

“Remind me what she does again?” Lando asked.

Poe let out a heavy sigh that only Finn noticed. He turned his attention to his husband, seeing him making a pained face and rubbing his stomach.

“She’s a doctor,” Kes replied, seemingly letting his son’s pain go unnoticed. “She specializes in child growth and development-”

“You ok, Poe?” Finn asked quietly as Kes continued to talk to Lando and Rey about what his girlfriend did for a living.

Poe rubbed at his stomach some more. “I don’t know… I just feel weird…” He shrugged it off and went to take a bite but Finn reacted quickly and snatched his piece of toasted bread lathered in plant butter and koyo nectar before he could sink his teeth into it. Poe glared. “Hey. I was gonna eat that!” He seemed to have everyone’s full attention now.

  
“You said you felt funny,” Finn snapped back. “Don’t eat it if it makes you feel funny.”

Poe took his piece of bread back, not shy about getting his fingers all sticky with nectar. “I’m hungry. I’m going to eat it,” he said firmly.

“Poe-”

“Stop,” Poe whined. “Let me eat in peace. I’m fine.” Poe took another bite of the bread and made a face of distaste before putting it on his plate. “I’m not hungry.”

Finn deadpanned at his husband. “Why are you like this?”

“You took my food. That’s why,” Poe said, glaring at Finn and shaking his head. Finn managed to catch Poe by the wrist before he wiped the sticky nectar on his pants. “I can wipe my hands on my pants if I want to.”

“I’m sorry. But are you the one who washes the clothes?” Finn frowned at Poe and pushed a napkin at him. “Didn’t think so. Use the damn napkin.”

Poe crinkled the napkin up in his gooped up hand, maintaining eye contact with his husband. “You’re so bossy,” he complained. Finn could see a sparkle in his eye though. Poe took the cup of caf that was sitting in front of Finn to drink it. When Finn gave him a dirty look he shrugged. “If you’re going to eat my breakfast, then I can have some of your caf.”

“Uh. No. I don’t think that’s how it works,” Finn replied.

“Yes. We’re married now. What’s mine is yours. What’s yours is mine.” Poe shifted his gaze to his father. “Dad. Tell him that’s how marriage works.”

Kes put his hands up. “That is none of my business.”

Poe huffed and looked at Lando. “Lando. Haven’t you been married before?”

“I have,” Lando replied, already shaking his head. “But she was never keen on sharing. Every marriage is different though.”

“Yeah. Every marriage is different, Poe,” Finn repeated. “Nowhere in our vows did we say anything about breaking even with each other. In fact, if I remember correctly, they were the opposite of that.”

“You’re gonna bring that up, huh?” Poe muttered.

“Marriage is not a contest. Never keep score,” Kes offered, gesturing with his hand towards them. “Always remember that the Force brought the two of you together to fight on the same team which means you share a score. So, in a way, Poe is right. You share everything with each other. But he should have had the decency to ask permission before he stole a drink from his partner’s cup. Especially, considering how much we know Finn is defensive over food.”

“Yeah. Watch out. He might bite your hand off,” Rey teased.

“Well, if we share everything then his hand is mine anyway,” Finn retorted. He laced his fingers with Poe and pulled on his hand. “According to Poe’s logic, if it’s mine then I have to eat it.”

Poe bit his cheek and made a quiet strangled sound. Finn furrowed his brows at Poe immediately, knowing he was thinking of something unmentionable. Poe raised his eyebrows suggestively in response with a mischievous smile on his face. “I think that’s  _ your  _ logic, bub, not mine.” Poe couldn’t count the number of times Finn claimed him as his own, let alone his ass.

Finn sighed and scratched the back of his neck. He couldn’t believe Poe sometimes. There were times when he had no shame about bringing up their sex life in front of other people. At least, he was being pretty subtle. “Think a  _ little  _ harder…  _ General _ ,” Finn said carefully.

The Little General. That’s what Poe called it. Finn’s… yeah. “Hm,” Poe said, leaning back in his seat casually. He patted Finn on the knee. “Well played, Finn. Well played. You got me there.”

Finn and Poe sat and looked at each other for a moment before Finn abruptly turned to their quiet onlookers and said, “So fishing. You said you wanted to take Lando down to the fishing hole.”

“Yeah. Tomorrow would really be the best day for that. If we wait any longer, the tides will reach a threshold and the fish will be hard to reach,” Kes explained. “Dinah typically doesn’t enjoy fishing. Maybe Poe and Rey will stay here and keep her company while the three of us head out?”

“Four of us,” Poe said, sounding mildly offended. “Why can’t I go with you?”

Finn and Kes looked at Poe like he’d grown another head. Poe hated fishing. He hated being quiet. He hated sitting around and waiting. He hated eating fish. They glanced at each other. “You want to go fishing with us?” Kes asked in disbelief.

“Well, yeah. Maybe I do. It wouldn’t hurt to invite me,” he said with a bit of a bite on the end of the phrase.

Finn bit his cheek and hummed. The tone was indicative that Poe was probably hormonal… again. Even normal petty Poe would have let that go. “Do you want to come with us?” Finn asked. He felt the easiest way out of this one was to go along with it. By the time they would have to roll out of bed to leave in the morning, Poe would change his mind anyway.

“Yeah. I want to go fishing,” Poe said.

“Huh?” Kes said, making a confused face.

Finn elbowed him. “Just go along with it,” he muttered to him. “So first thing tomorrow morning?”

Kes looked to Lando for approval. “Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said with delight in his eyes. “It’s been ages since I’ve done anything like that. Maybe it will make me feel young again.”

Kes laughed. “Maybe tomorrow. But the next day you might feel even older.” Lando and Kes both laughed out loud at the same time. Poe, Finn, and Rey didn’t. But they did smile. They were the kind of smile someone does when they don’t understand a joke but someone else is laughing and it’s clearly very funny. But they don’t get it.

“Kes, I’ve been meaning to ask. Is Poe your only child?” Lando asked.

“Pretty much,” Kes said. He turned and smiled at Finn to put an arm around his shoulder. “But now I’ve also got Finn. And two almost-step-children.”

“No grandkids yet?”

“Dinah’s daughter has a five-month-old son. He’s practically my first grandkid.” Kes turns to give Poe a dirty look. “I’m trying to put a bug in these guys’ ears to get busy.”

“Patience,” Poe says, sending a look of his own right back. “These things take time.”

“I’m not getting any younger,” Kes complained. “What about you, Lando?”

“Oh. I’m definitely not getting any younger,” Lando teased. “Um. No. I don’t think that’s really a possibility. I only had two children. One of them died very young.” Lando trailed off sadly before he picked back up. “I thought I lost both of them but I found Destiny - Jannah.”

“She’s not the type to want that kind of thing?” Kes asked.

Lando shrugged. “I don’t think many young people want that responsibility. But even if she did one day, the First Order has protocols-”

“Sterilization,” Finn blurted. “Most First Order troopers undergo a procedure at some point.”

“Right…” Lando said with a nod. “Did they do the same to you?”

Finn shook his head. “No. No… I was selected for a breeding program so they kind of needed me to be fully operational.”   
  


Lando furrowed his brows in confusion. “A breeding program? I kinda figured they’d lean more towards cloning.”

“It was just another thing for them to control,” Finn replied. “I’m sorry to hear you probably won’t be having any grandkids, Lando. That seems like something you’d enjoy.”

“I would,” Lando said. “But I spent a lot of years believing that I wouldn’t ever get to be a father again. I was wrong. And that’s enough. I don’t think I could ask for anything more after getting my daughter back. Not many people in the galaxy can say the same.”

“Then I guess you could say it was destiny,” Poe quipped. Lando smiled very warmly at him. “She works hard to get that for others too.”

“I couldn’t be prouder,” Lando said. “She’s incredible.”

“She is,” Finn and Rey agreed at the same time.

“Maybe I should tell her you’re looking for some grandkids, Kes,” Lando said, glancing over at Finn and Poe suggestively. “First Order took away a lot of parents. She has a hard time placing children in homes she doesn’t know much about. She never knows if they’re safe or worse off than before.”

“Oh definitely put a bug in her ear about these two,” Kes said gesturing to Finn and Poe. “They’re going to need about a dozen.”

“Dad,” Poe chided.

“A dozen?” Finn squawked.

“I can help,” Kes swore. “Pretty soon, Dinah will live here too. And we can split them between the four of us. Three kids each isn’t that bad now is it?”

“Pft,” Finn sputtered and rolled his eyes.

  
“Where are we going to put them all?” Poe asked. “There’s hardly enough room for that many!”

“Wha-that’s your concern?!” Finn said out loud. “Poe, that’s too many.”

“I’m just saying, they need a place to sleep.”

“We’re not having a dozen kids, Poe,” Finn said firmly. He turned to Kes. “Look what you’ve done. Now you’ve filled his head with ideas. He thinks we can handle twelve kids.”

“How about eight,” Poe offered. “I can sacrifice four children… not literally… obviously.”

Finn turned to Poe and held up a single finger. “One. We’re starting out… with one. That’s it. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. One kid. I understand,” Poe said putting his hands up in defense. “And then eleven more.”

“I thought you brought it down to eight?!”

“And then seven more. That’s what I said.”

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	5. Chapter 5

“So tell me about your dreams, Finn,” Rey said once they were alone. Finn had to work to get the two of them alone. It was easy to get Lando and Kes off their case but Poe was another story. Finn had to tell him they needed to talk about ‘Jedi things’. Whatever that meant. Poe didn’t seem very pleased with that in the least. He had a feeling Poe would be giving him a hard time for it but Finn needed to talk to someone about the dreams. And there was a reason it couldn’t be Poe.

“Every time I have the dream, there’s something new,” Finn said as they walked across the lawn of the Dameron Homestead in front of the hangar.

“When did you start having the dreams?” Rey asked.

“A few weeks ago,” Finn replied. “Just before we started trying to conceive.”

“And what did that look like?” Rey asked. Her face quickly contorted into one of shock before she blurted, “The dream! Not the… conceiving. Obviously.”

“That went without saying,” Finn assured her, though he couldn’t help but laugh lightly at the way she’d worded it. Once they made it around the corner, Finn sat down on the grass under the Force Tree. “Have a seat.”

Rey smiled as she lowered herself to the ground. She smiled up at the tree, enjoying the feeling of its peaceful presence. That was one thing she really appreciated about Yavin IV. Not only did she get to be with her closest friends, but she felt so close to the Force there. She wondered how this place was not swarmed with other force users, good and bad.

“At first, I thought it was just me wanting to have a kid,” Finn said. “I would wake up to the sound of him laughing and asking me to make him breakfast. I would feel this warmth inside me that I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. I was eager to start a family then.”

Rey squinted over at Finn. “But something changed?”

Finn furrowed his brows and fiddled with the grass under his fingers. “In an instant, the dreams go from happiness to… terror. There’s darkness. And violence. Children are being taken. So I tell him to protect his little sister while I… go contact someone? I don’t know why that would be so important…”

Rey watched as Finn sat in the grass thinking. She could see the way he was trying to piece together his dream sensibly and translate it into words so that she could understand. She could feel the way he was being affected by these dreams.

“The next thing I know, he’s trying to save her and…” Finn shakes his head. “I lose them both. He’s killed by an explosion and she’s taken by… someone. I don’t know who.”

Rey pauses and waits for Finn to continue but he doesn’t. “Right… and you think you’re having a vision of your future?”

“That’s what’s confusing. Poe isn’t in the dream,” Finn said. “He never has been. I never see him or hear him or even think about him. It’s like… it’s like he doesn’t even exist. That’s what’s most terrifying about the dream. If that’s my future, why isn’t Poe there? Are those  _ our  _ kids or just mine?”

Rey put a hand on Finn’s, squeezing it carefully. “Finn… you can’t assume that that’s your future you’re seeing. It’s more likely that it’s something else. A manifestation of your true feelings perhaps?”

Finn’s eyes widened in horror. “Rey. Poe’s my husband. In fact, he’s more than that. He’s-”

“I don’t mean about Poe,” Rey said, putting a gentle hand up to settle him down. “I mean about kids… or starting a family. How do you really feel about it?”

Finn furrowed his brows and thought some more. He licked his lips and sighed. “I don’t know anymore. I want it but… these dreams are scaring me. The idea of being a parent was terrifying enough. But take that and add the idea that I could lose everything…”

Rey put her hand on his back and rubbed it comfortingly. “Finn… it’s normal to be afraid of losing people you love. But you can’t let that fear control you.” Finn nodded but he didn’t say anything. “Have you talked to Poe about it at all?”

Finn hesitated. “Yes and no…”

“Care to elaborate on that?” Rey asked.

“I told him about it before it got bad,” Finn said. “But he doesn’t know about what happens after… He doesn’t know that he’s not even in the dreams. I don’t want to scare him.”

“Aren’t you supposed to tell your husband those kinds of things?” Rey questioned him. “Even if they’re hard to hear?”

Finn sighed. “Yeah. But it’s just a dream.”

“If it’s just a dream then why are you talking to me about it? Why do you need to talk about it at all?” Rey asked.

“Because…” Finn sat until Rey nudged him. “Because it doesn’t feel like a dream. It feels like I’m there. It feels like it means something. And it feels important. It feels… it feels like it has something to do with the Force, Rey. You’re the only person I really know that knows anything about that kind of stuff. And you’re my friend. I trust you.”

“I am your friend. And you can trust me,” Rey assured him. “We both know how Poe is when it comes to keeping secrets though.”

“I know. He knows something is up,” Finn said. “I’ll probably hear all about it when I get back. But if I tell him and he believes that it means something about us or how I feel, it’s going to hurt him.”

Rey smiled at Finn sympathetically. “He’ll appreciate you telling him.”

“I know he will… He’ll also be mad I didn’t talk to him about it sooner,” Finn said. He sighed heavily and shook his head. “I don’t want to tell him. Because what if it’s nothing and I scare him for no reason? I don’t want my dreams to crush his.”

“You think he won’t want to have children if you tell him,” Rey concluded.

“I think he’ll want it but I don’t think he’ll let himself have it for fear of losing it,” Finn said. “He’s lost so much already. He’s been losing people his entire life… since he was just a kid. I can’t give him a reason to be afraid of losing one thing that he really wants right now. I know he’s been struggling lately with hormones and being sick and other things that are out of his control, but he’s been so much happier lately and I think it’s because he feels safe.”

“I understand,” Rey said. “You’ll tell him when you’re ready… when you’re both ready. I’m glad you could at least talk to me. Have you been sleeping well?”

Finn shrugged. “Not fantastic but better than I usually did when Poe was always having nightmares and getting sick.”

“How’s he doing?” she asked. Finn had vented to him through com calls a lot about Poe not feeling well a while back. It worried him. She could tell.

Finn furrowed his brows. “To be honest… I don’t even know. One thing resolves itself and another surfaces. First, it was being sick for a month straight. Then it seemed like he was fine for a while except he was eating weird things… at weird times. And now he’s having these mood swings…” Finn shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Poe. I’ll always be there for him. I understand none of it is his fault but I wish it would stop. I hate seeing him so out of control.”

“I imagine it can’t be fun,” Rey said. “For either of you.”

“It’s very frustrating,” Finn said with a huff and an eye roll. “I like to think I’m being really patient with him but sometimes it’s more than I can take. I’m no stranger to Poe getting angry and taking it out to the hangar to throw a few wrenches and let out some frustration. Poe’s always been like that. He’s a very passionate person. But the mood swings…” Finn closed his eyes and shook his head.

“They’re a little harder to handle?”

“Yes!” Finn blurted. “I can handle taking care of Poe. That’s what a large part of our intimacy is built on. When he’s sick or having nightmares I help him feel better. When he’s crying I comfort him. I enjoy that part. But the snappy behavior and the attitude? Oh, Force. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Rey smiled despite Finn’s frustration. “I bet you’re going to love teenagers.”

“Not if I have to deal with my teenage husband on top of it,” Finn said. He let out a heavy so and laid back in the grass. It felt good to vent. He needed to vent to someone about his frustrations with his husband. “Thank you. I really needed to just…” Finn took another breath and let it out slower. “... let it go.”

“You can always talk to me, Finn,” Rey promised. “Although, I think your first instinct should always be to talk to him. But I can understand why you might not want to say that stuff to him especially if he’s so… hormonal?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. Not the best idea to bring that up to him right now. And thank you, Rey.” Finn sighed and smiled at Rey. He leaned in to give her a hug, a gentle, solid hug. “I missed you.”

Rey hugged him back. “It’s good to see you again, Finn.”

  
  


Poe had changed into something more suitable for mechanical work and was heading out to the hangar when he saw Finn and Rey sitting under the Force Tree, smiling and laughing. He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Jedi stuff my ass,” he muttered to himself.

Poe kept walking to the hangar to work on one of the speeders that his dad had laying outback as a piece of junk. He figured if nothing else, he could at least part it out and salvage the good parts of it. He felt his spirits lift at the sound of his friend beeping at him. He turned and saw BB-8 rolling into the hangar. 

“BB-8! You want to help with this ol’ piece of garbage?” he asked. BB-8 rolled right up to him and beeped affirmatively. He wiggled and warbled something of excitement and it made Poe’s insides feel warm. “I missed having you around, buddy. I hope you didn’t have too much fun with Rey.”

Poe started tinkering around with some of the panels on his ship while BB-8 told him a few anecdotal stories. Poe was pleased to hear that BB-8 preferred being Poe’s copilot. “Hey, Pal. Could you turn on some music?” BB-8 beeped as he started towards the speakers. “You go ahead and pick.”

Poe and BB-8 worked on an old junker in the hangar for a while. Poe found that the combination of working in the hangar and the company of BB-8 were perfect for nursing the headache that Poe had been starting to get that day. At least, it was a form of distraction.

Poe was laughing at something BB-8 said about R2 when a sudden sharp pain shot through his skull. He groaned. “Hey, Beebee. Could you turn the music down a little? It’s starting to give me a headache.”

BB-8 hurried over and turned the music down a notch.  _ Beep? _

“Little more,” Poe said.

_ Beep? _

“More.”

BB-8 turned the music completely off.  _ Beep? _

“That’s perfect. Thanks, Pal.” Poe turned his attention over to the speeder as BB-8 rolled up behind him. He focused on the panel he had open, squinting at the wiring. “Hm. Looks like we need an entirely new circuit board. Can you see if we’ve got anything lying around? Check the spare parts bin.”

BB-8 beeped a question at him.    
  


“Hm. Let me get a closer look at it,” Poe said. He pulled the breaker board out to read the codes. He wasn’t sure if it was his eyes or if the number had been worn out. “I don’t know, Pal. It’s hard to tell.” Poe blinked a few times and it didn’t help. “Just see if there’s anything at all.” Poe ripped the board out and handed it to BB-8.

BB-8 looked at it and beeped the serial number and design model to Poe.

“Show off,” Poe remarked. He looked back at the panel while BB-8 went to fetch something. Everything was blurry. Poe blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. It seemed to help that time? Poe didn’t know. But he reached into the panel to check for a few plugs. He could see that they were fried but that’s about it. He ripped them out and brought them closer to his face to examine them but again, all he could tell was that they were fried. No model number or anything. “Ugh,” Poe grunted, feeling slightly dizzy. Poe reached a hand up to rub at his eyes again.

Just as BB-8 was coming back with a few options to use as a breaker board, Poe collapsed on the ground. BB-8 beeped at him and got no response. He dropped the breaker board and poked at Poe. When Poe laid there entirely unconscious, BB-8 let out a screeching sound and took off to go find help.

The first people he ran into were Finn and Rey by the Force Tree. They were met with BB-8’s panicked warbles. “Poe fainted?!” Finn and Rey exclaimed at the same time. Both of them jumped to their feet and followed BB-8 to the hangar where Poe was laying on the ground, entirely limp and unconscious.

Finn ran a hand over his forehead and brushed his hair back. “Poe. Can you hear me?” he asked. He got no response so he patted him gently on the cheek. “Hey, buddy. Think you can open your eyes for me? Anything?” Only then did Finn start to feel a little bit nervous. He was just complaining about Poe to Rey and now he was hurt. Finn picked him up. “Let’s get him inside on a couch.”

Finn and Rey were halfway to Finn and Poe’s house when Dinah arrived in her speeder. She spotted the little ball droid on the ground. “Well, hello, BB-8! It’s quite wonderful to see your cute little face again.” BB-8 didn’t bother with a greeting. He just beeped out that Poe fainted. “He what?” she asked.

“Dinah!” Kes greeted, arms open wide as he approached the speeder with Lando not far behind. “Darling!” Dinah climbed out of her speeder and Kes huffed. “I was going to give you a hand.” Kes stopped in front of her and waited for his hug. But she turned around to pull her medical bag out of the cargo hold. “I missed you,” he said, not ready to give up quite yet.

BB-8 beeped up at Kes aggressively. “Where is he, Beebee?” Dinah asked.

“Wha-Poe fainted?!” Kes exclaimed. “Why?! How?! Is he okay?! Where is he?!”

Dinah turned to Lando and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hi. You must be Lando,” she concluded.

Lando sent her one of his best smiles, taking her hand and placing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “You’re just as beautiful as Kes said you were.”

“Well, aren’t you charming,” she remarked. “Could you do me a favor and keep Kes out here for now? I don’t need him in there creating mass panic.”

“No,” Kes disagreed.

“Of course,” Lando said, putting an arm around Kes’s shoulder. “I’ll keep him out of your hair.”

“My son is in there-”

“He’s fine,” Lando promised him as he started walking him in the opposite direction. “I’m sure he’s fine. Poe has been through a lot worse. He was working out in the hangar. He probably breathed in too many fumes.”

Dinah and Lando exchanged an appreciated glance over the shoulder as they went opposite directions. She followed BB-8 up the stairs to the house where she met Rey. “Rey,” she greeted sweetly, pulling the young girl into a hug. “It’s so good to see you. We’ll have to catch up after I take a look at Poe.”

Rey hugged her back and opened the door for her. “We’ll definitely have to talk later. Finn took Poe to the bedroom.” Rey helped Dinah make the room and had everything she needed. “Would you need my help with anything?”

Dinah almost shrugged her off as she sat on the edge of the bed next to Poe. But then she remembered Lando and Kes were out there worried about Poe. “Actually, could you go assure Kes that everything is alright? He seemed pretty panicked about Poe. I think it would make him feel better knowing that there’s no blood or fatal wound.”

“Of course,” Rey said. And she left the room after sharing one last glance with Finn. She smiled softly at him, saying with her eyes, “It’s going to be alright.” When she stepped outside, BB-8 was pacing back and forth at the bottom of the stairs. Kes wasn’t the only one that needed assurance that Poe was okay. Since Kes was over near the other house with Lando, she decided to sit on the bottom step and comfort the droid first and maybe ask him a few questions about what happened. “Hey, BB-8.”

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	6. Chapter 6

Poe stirred gently as Finn stroked his hair. He was becoming more responsive now which was a good sign. Maybe they would get some answers out of him on what happened. The device Dinah had enclosed around his wrist beeped. She looked at a receiver in her hands. “Welp, that’s good. His blood pressure is going down.”

Finn smiled softly and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He massaged Poe’s scalp and talked to him softly. “You awake yet, Princess?” Poe took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, stirring slightly. He grumbled and Finn felt himself relax. Poe was okay. “You were out in the hangar, Poe. BB-8 said that you fainted. Do you remember what happened?”

“I’m going to fetch him some water,” Dinah said, dismissing herself to let Finn try and wake up Poe on his own.

Finn leaned down and kissed Poe on the forehead. “Hey, you’re scaring me, Poe. Can you open your eyes?”

Poe forced a pair of very sleepy eyes open, rolling them before they closed again. Poe huffed and groaned. “Take a nap,” he mumbled very groggily.

Finn chuckled and leaned back, pulling on Poe’s arm. “Hey. I need you to sit up for a minute. You’ve got to drink some water and tell us what happened,” Finn said, trying to get him to sit up.

Poe whined. “I’m tired.”

Finn grabbed both of Poe’s arms this time, pulling him up into a sitting position. “Come on,” he said, allowing Poe’s limp upper half to lean against him. “There you go.” Finn was rubbing Poe’s back comfortingly as Dinah returned with a glass of water. She handed it to Finn. “Thirsty?”

Surprisingly, that got Poe’s attention. “Mhm,” he said, somewhat enthusiastically. Finn helped him hold the glass up to his lips and pour it into his mouth. Poe drank half of the glass before Finn took it away from his lips and told him to slow down.

Finn helped Poe scoot back against the wall, putting a few pillows behind his back. They let him settle a bit and wake up before they started showering him with questions.

Poe sighed and looked between Finn and Dinah. “So what’s wrong with me, Doc?” he asked Dinah dryly. “Am I dying?”

“Your blood pressure was through the roof, Mr. Dameron,” she said, almost chidingly. “You’re not dying at the moment but if you keep this up, your time will be cut short.”

“Blood pressure?” Poe said, almost scoffing. “At thirty-five?”

“Have you been having any other symptoms of concern?” she asked. “Headaches? Nose bleeds? Dizziness? Blurry vision? Chest pain?” she listed off a few to chose from.

“Um… yeah,” Poe said. “I kinda had a headache before I passed out. And my vision was… pretty messed up. Also… I felt dizzy.”

Poe and Finn shared a look but Poe didn’t say any more. Finn looked at Dinah. “He had a nose bleed the other morning.”

“Hm,” Dinah hummed. “Sounds like hypertension. Is there anything recently that might be causing you stress? Any new activities? Eating habits?” She wasn’t just asking Poe. She was asking Finn.

Poe sighed and looked at Finn. “See? This is what it’s like dating an older man. Hypertension.”

Finn frowned at Poe, concern showing on his face. “Poe, we’re married.”

Poe blinked. “I swear. I didn’t forget that. I’m just… an idiot.” Poe shook his head and rubbed his forehead. “Maybe I’ve been a little out of it lately but my hormones are all out of wack. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or if this is normal.”

“Hormones,” Dinah chirped in. “Maybe that’s what’s causing this.”

Finn was sitting thoughtfully on the edge of the bed, rubbing his chin. “Maybe we really do need to get you on some kind of medication for it.” Poe could see the concern etched into Finn’s brows as he racked his brain.

“You’ve talked about this before?” Dinah asked.

“Yeah,” Finn said. “He was on a medication for years but he’s been off of it for four months.”

“Medication for what?” she asked.

“Hydrodescan,” Poe said. “You know that my mother was near-human, right? I started taking the hormone suppressant for mood swings back when I was a teenager. And ever since I stopped, everything has been… not good. I was sick for a month. Then I was waking up at night to eat. And now the mood swings are back. And what? Now I have hypertension? I thought only old people got that. Now I’m an old people-”

“Poe,” Dinah said firmly, yet gently. “You’re going to be alright. You’re not old. Although, all of your years out catching stars hasn’t spared you any extra years. I will tell you that much. I’ll look into some medications for you. We’ll talk about it. For now, take it easy.”

Poe sighed. Finn could see in his eyes that he was about to argue with her but he sent Poe a stern look and Poe sighed. “Fine. Yeah.”

“That means, no working out in the hangar. No flying. You can go for walks to stay active and healthy. But no strenuous activities whatsoever. Do you understand?”

“Yea-wait…” Poe put a hand up and glanced at Finn. “No strenuous activities? Like none? At all?” He glanced at Finn again. “No exceptions?”

Dinah saw the looks Poe was giving Finn. “No exceptions.” She looked at Finn. “Do you think you guys can handle that for a few days?”

“Yeah,” Finn said.

But Poe disagreed. “No.” Dinah simply rolled her eyes. “See… you don’t understand. Finn and I? We’re kind of… ehem-trying to… well, he’s trying to-I want it too-hm-”

“Spit it out, Poe,” Dinah said.

“Pregnant,” Poe blurted. He tightened up his shoulders uncomfortably and swallowed. “We’ve kind of been trying…”

“I see,” Dinah said.

“We don’t talk about it to Kes,” he told her.

Dinah almost laughed. “I won’t tell your father about that. I promise.” Poe smiled gently as she patted his cheek. “As long as you take it easy. If you’re really trying to get pregnant, you need to start taking care of yourself like you already are. Drink plenty of water. Eat good food. Get lots of rest. Avoid stress.” Dinah looked at Finn.

Finn nodded. “I’ll take care of him. And make sure he’s taking care of himself.”

“Good,” Dinah said. She removed the device from Poe’s wrist and put it in her bag where she dug around and pulled out a small glass jar with some leaves in it. “Steep a leaf of this in hot water every day starting today, right now. It should help with the blood pressure thing. It’s natural. And it’s safe.”

“Thank you,” Finn said, taking the jar and examining the leaves inside. “I think I can take it from here,” he told her with a grateful smile.

“Alright,” she said, standing up. She threw the medicine bag over her shoulder. “I’ve got to go calm down your father. You really freaked him out, you know?” she told Poe. “I’ve got my eye on you now, Poe. I better not see you working out in the shop. And I know Finn and Kes won’t lie to me either so it’s not going to be easy to lie about it.”

Poe watched her leave with tired eyes, looking slightly to the right to see Finn giving him a look. “What?”

Finn sighed and ruffled his curls. “You’re a mess, Poe.”

Poe looked down, something of disappointment going across his face. “Yeah… sorry about that.”

Finn scoffed. “First time you’ve ever been sorry about it. That’s new. Something must really be wrong with you,” Finn said, sounding genuinely worried. “Poe, is there anything you need to tell me?”

Poe shook his head. “Nothing really to tell…” Poe trailed off. “You know about as much as I do.”

Finn could see the tiredness on Poe’s face. He imagined he was more than just physically tired. “You look tired,” he said softly. “You should rest.” He kept stroking his hand through Poe’s hair, feeling him relax into the touch. “Your dad needs to give you a haircut.”

Poe hummed, smiling with closed eyes. “Then what would you hold onto?” he asked in a voice laced with suggestion.

Finn chuckled and leaned in, placing a kiss on Poe’s forehead. “Just a little trim,” he promised. “Drink some more water before you fall asleep.” Finn got Poe to finish the glass of water before he let him lay back down and rest. He went to the kitchen to boil some water for that tea Dinah had given them. Next time Poe was awake he’d have him drink it. Finn set the tea on the table beside their bed and watched Poe. If he was a little worried about Poe before, he sure as hell was now.

  
  


Poe peeled his eyes open. Their bedroom was dark. But he could hear the distant sound of people talking. And he smelled something cooking. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was but whatever it was smelled good. He sat up and put his feet over the edge of the bed, wiggling his toes and stretching his shoulder.

He let out a yawn and a heavy sigh. Poe could feel the remanence of his headache still but overall, he felt a lot better. He noticed a small glass beside his bed. It had one of those leaves in it. Finn must’ve brewed him some tea. He smiled as he reached for it, thinking about how grateful he was for his amazing husband.

It was cold. How long had he been asleep for? Poe looked out the window. There was an orange glow familiar to them during the late afternoon. He’d been out for at least a few hours. It didn’t feel real. Had he really passed out? He barely remembered anything. His brain was so jumbled.

Slowly, Poe got out of bed and walked up to the transparisteel door. He squinted from the light, his eyes failing to adjust as fast as he’d like them too. He rubbed at them and blinked until he could manage to actually see.

Outside, between the two houses was the fire pit where everyone was gathered for what Poe assumed to be dinner. Lando was talking about something with a huge grin on his face, gesturing conservatively with his hands. The others were entirely enthralled. Then they all erupted in laughter which Poe could hear from inside. He could see Finn enjoying himself, so carefree as he laughed and talked with his friends.

It felt like Poe’s company was always having the opposite effect on him lately. Poe knew it wasn’t really his fault… not all the time at least. Some things were just out of his control. He wished he could control it but he didn’t know how. So now not only did he have to suffer, so did Finn.

Poe slipped on some shoes and went out the door to join them. He was halfway there when he stepped on his shoestring and nearly face planted. “Ugh. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Your shoe strings are untied, Ace!” Kes yelled over at him.

Poe rolled his eyes, bending down to tie them but he felt the blood rush to his head and decided that was a bad idea. “Whoah,” he said standing up straight and rubbing his temple. He saw Finn already jumping to his feet. Hadn’t he done enough already? “Nonono. It’s okay. I can still do it-”

“Poe, don’t-”

Poe sat his butt on the ground and pulled a knee up to his chest. He found his muscles felt a little tighter than usual which frustrated him. Before his fingers could grab the strings, Finn was already tying them up. “You don’t have to do that, Finn,” Poe said softly. Finn did it anyway. Poe rested his chin on one of his knees while Finn finished up. He could feel his eyes watering and some sort of emotion rising up inside of him.

“You alright?” Finn asked. How had he noticed? Poe himself had barely noticed.

Poe tried to shove whatever it was he was feeling down. He was sure it was just his hormones again. They weren’t his real feelings. He wasn’t sure what those felt like anymore. He nodded.

“Hungry?” Finn asked, standing up and holding out a hand for Poe.

Poe took Finn’s hand and pulled himself up from the ground. He thought he’d been hungry a few moments ago but when that feeling hit him, he’d lost his appetite. Telling Finn he wasn’t really hungry would probably concern him though… “A little bit. Yeah.”

Finn walked Poe over to the fire pit and sat him down on a bench next to Rey, the place he’d been sitting before he’d gotten up to help Poe. “Did you drink the tea I made you?” Finn asked as he started making Poe a plate of food. It seemed everyone else had already eaten.

Poe thought about it. He remembered the tea, remembered reaching for it. He doesn’t remember drinking it but he remembers that it was cold and bitter. So he must’ve drunk it. “Yeah,” Poe replies.

“Are you feeling better?” Rey asked Poe as he was handed a plate of food and a fork.

Poe looked up at Finn as he handed him the plate. “Thank you,” he said, watching him walk a few steps away to sit on a stump. Finn sat and watched him closely. “Yeah,” Poe answered Rey’s question. “I guess I needed the sleep.”

Something about the way Finn was watching him rubbed Poe the wrong way. He was looking at him expectantly. Expecting what? Poe wasn’t sure. He was probably making sure he would eat. Poe looked down at the plate and forked something green. He felt a little nauseous, a weird feeling in his lower belly that he didn’t know how to feel about. He took a bite and watched Finn’s gaze shift to something more approving than before.

For once, Poe didn’t want to be seen at all. He just wanted to be invisible. Poe didn’t like that feeling. It was cold and lonely. Poe stared blankly at the fire while he slowly ate the food Finn had served him.

His brain made him feel like he was in a cloud of fog. Words echoed differently. Somehow the fog affected the sound, dampening the sounds that he felt were missing. Poe subconsciously expected the sounds of stintarils and woolamanders fighting in the jungle. He expected a constant buzzing sound coming from the foliage surrounding every field of the Dameron Homestead. But all he heard were distant voices of his father’s girlfriend talking to Kes and Lando. 

The worst part was that he knew the fog wasn’t real.

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	7. Chapter 7

Poe’s silence did not go unnoticed by anyone. They all knew that Poe was normally pretty verbal, especially around a fire. Something about the flame ignited his storytelling spark. But Poe hadn’t told any stories that night. It was just Lando and Kes, swapping stories from the days of the rebellion.

Poe was too busy thinking.

He was sick. He could feel it. He didn’t know if it was all in his head. Or if it was physical. Or both. But Poe knew he was sick. That was the conclusion he’d come to, at least.

Poe decided that it wasn’t fair for Finn to have to deal with that. It wasn’t Finn’s job to take care of him every waking hour, to suffer through all of his mood swings, to worry about him having high blood pressure. Finn hadn’t signed up for that.

Poe knew he was a mess, a mess even Finn shouldn’t be able to handle.

“What do you say, Poe?” He felt the warm hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Finn looking down at him. It was already dark outside. At least, as dark as it would get on Yavin IV. “Call it a night?”

“Yeah,” Poe said, moving to stand.

“Night, Poe,” Dinah called. “I’ll check in with you in the morning.”

“Goodnight,” Rey said to the both of them, followed by goodnights from Kes and Lando.

Finn expected Poe to say goodnight to everyone but he was already walking to the house. That was odd. “Night,” he said to everyone as he scurried to catch up with Poe. When he caught up, he put an arm around his husband’s shoulder. “Hey. Poe, are you feeling okay?” he asked softly. He’d seen the distant look in his eyes the entire evening.

Poe cleared his throat and smiled. Though, the smile was a bit forced. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’m feeling a lot better,” he said as they walked up the stairs.

Before Poe could open the door, Finn grabbed the handle. Poe looked at him. “That’s not what I meant.” Finn turned the handle and let Poe walk in first. “Are you feeling okay? Something is bothering you. You’ve been thinking about it all night. I can tell. I know you, Poe.”

“Then don’t!” Poe snapped out of nowhere. “If it’s so bad just knowing me so well then don’t!” Poe instantly regretted it. He ran his hand over his face and through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said. He took a deep breath and walked up to Finn. Poe reached for Finn but pulled back at the last second. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I don’t-it’s the-” Poe sighed, trying to push away the excuses. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Go to bed,” Finn said. He barely even seemed phased by Poe’s little outburst. “I’ll be there in a minute. We’ll talk.”

  
  


After Finn had gotten ready for bed and turned off all the lights except for a single hallway light for Rey, he walked into his and Poe’s shared room. Poe was lying face down with his face in a pillow, still wearing his clothes he’d put on to go work out in the hangar.

Finn saw the full glass of tea Poe had supposedly drunk earlier. He sighed in annoyance. “Poe, why’d you lie about that?”

A high-pitched strangled noise escaped Poe’s lips as he looked up at Finn. “What?” he asked, sounding genuinely hurt. He started sitting up. “I didn’t lie to you,” he swore. He couldn’t think of anything he’d lied about.

Finn turned off the bedroom light, leaving the lamp beside Poe on. “The tea? You didn’t drink it,” Finn said. He didn’t seem angry about it at all. He pulled the glass up to give it a taste. “Did you not like it?”

Poe stared at Finn as he sipped on it. So… he hadn’t drunk it? Poe squinted, trying to remember but he just couldn’t. Poe was so confused.

“Hm. It’s cold,” Finn said. He headed back towards the door. “I can go warm it up for you.”

“Wha-that’s not-no, Finn.”

“So you don’t like it?” Finn pried.

“I don’t know.”

“Cause you didn’t try it,” Finn said, jumping to the nearest conclusion.

“I don’t remember,” Poe said. He let out a huff of frustration. For some reason, he was having a hard time communicating that night. Sure, he’d slept most of the day away but he just wanted to sleep more. “I didn’t lie to you, Finn. Not on purpose. I would never lie to you. I just…” Poe felt his voice catch in his throat. It was caught on emotion-emotion that shouldn’t be there when he was trying to talk. “Ugh,” Poe groaned, pressing at his eyes which were tearing up.

Finn set the glass down on the table beside their bed. Then he sat on the bed next to Poe. “Poe, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I had a drink or two out there. Walking in here and accusing you of lying probably wasn’t the best judgment on my part considering your emotional state.”

“It’s not your fault,” Poe said, voice soft with emotion. He pulled his hand away and sighed in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to constantly be considering my emotional state especially when they’re not even my real emotions.-”

“Stop right there,” Finn said. “Before you go on anything further, I need to make one thing clear. Alright?” He waited for Poe to stay quiet for a minute. “You’re my husband. Remember that? Three months ago, we had a wedding? I’d hope you wouldn’t forget it because it lasted three whole days and then you and I went off together and we made promises to each other. Please tell me, you remember that.”

“I remember.”

“Okay. Then why should I, your husband, not always be considering your feelings?”

“Because they’re not real,” Poe argued.

“Just because your feelings are triggered or intensified by hormonal irregularities does not mean that they aren’t real, Poe,” Finn said. “What you’re feeling matters to me. I’m going to consider how you feel because I love you.-”

“Finn-”

“I love you,” Finn said more firmly, not letting Poe interrupt him. “We’ll get through whatever this is. But you have to trust that I can take care of you. You have to let me-”

“I do let you,” Poe said softly.

“No. Poe, I mean, really let me,” Finn said. “You let me take care of you as long as you think it’s something that will make me feel good about myself. I didn’t marry you so you could make me feel good about myself. I married you because I love you and I’m going to take care of you even when you’re a pain in the ass.”

Poe didn’t say anything. But he sat there and looked at Finn. He looked a bit sad, almost guilty.

“Sometimes it’s going to be frustrating but that’s okay. I know what I signed up for.”

Poe scratched his head. “Me being frustrating?”

“Yeah,” Finn said, putting a hand on Poe’s back and leaning in to kiss him on the forehead. “But you’re no more frustrating now than you were a year ago or two years ago when I barely knew you.”

Poe sat there, still being uncharacteristically quiet and still. But he nodded. “I’m gonna change out of these clothes,” he said, standing up. Finn climbed the rest of the way in bed and waited to be joined by Poe. Before Poe climbed in bed, he grabbed the glass of cold tea and gave it a try. He thought maybe he could finish it before bed but it was the most bitter thing he’d ever tasted. He couldn’t help but make a face and cough a little.

Finn furrowed his brows. “What? You don’t like it?”

“S’bitter,” Poe said, setting it down. Climbed back in bed. “Ugh. Yuck.”

“Bitter? I don’t remember it tasting bitter. I thought it was sweet,” Finn said.

“Well you have weird taste buds,” Poe said, slipping under the covers and getting comfortable.

“Maybe you don’t like it because it steeped for too long,” Finn said. “You’ll have to try some in the morning when it’s fresh.”

Poe sighed and flopped onto his pillow. “Fine.” Poe didn’t do his normal routine to get in bed. Instead of laying on his side and holding his arms out for Finn, he laid on his back with his hands over his stomach. He smacked his lips. “Ugh… the aftertaste,” he mumbled.

Finn missed the feeling of being in Poe’s arms so he rolled closer to him and leaned over to kiss him on the lips. “Does that help?” he asked. He got virtually no response from Poe which was… again, uncharacteristic. He saw the wrinkle from his scrunched up brow and rested his chin on Poe’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Princess?”

Poe closed his eyes and licked his lips. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Finn could sense he was still feeling down. So he laced his fingers with one of Poe’s hands and brought it up to his lips. He kissed it softly once and another time reassuringly. “I’m scared…” Poe whispered.

Finn’s thumb was caressing the side of Poe’s hand. “What are you scared of?” he asked very softly.

“I don’t want to leave you alone, Finn,” he said. His voice was almost whisper-quiet. “I…” he swallowed. “I’m worried that there might be something wrong with me… and that you married me just in time to see me deteriorate.”

Finn furrowed his brows at Poe. “Poe… are you being serious? You’re not dying.”

Poe shook his head. “Something’s wrong.”

For a moment, the room was silent. Neither of them said anything. Poe was still trying to figure out what he wanted to say. Finn was at a loss for words though. He couldn’t possibly understand what was going through Poe’s brain at the moment and it concerned him even more than the hormones did. But he kept in mind that, whatever was going through Poe’s brain might be associated with them still.

“I stopped taking my medication and I was fine but only for a while,” Poe eventually said. “And then I was so sick. And then the hormones started acting up. The bloody nose the other morning. The high blood pressure. The fainting. We both read the side effects of the medication. I mean, it’s possible…” Poe took a second to just breathe before he continued on. “It’s possible that the damage it did to me was irreversible.”

Finn sighed. Now he understood why Poe was thinking he was sick. It was at least built on some reason and not pure irrationality. “You’re right. It is possible,” Finn said. “But I don’t think that’s why all those things have been happening to you.”

“And what’s your explanation, huh?” Poe asked.

“I don’t have one,” Finn said. “But I refuse to believe that you’re just going to keep getting worse. Okay? It could be anything. You’ve been under stress for years. Especially last year. Maybe you’re still adjusting. That’s probably what it is, Poe.”

Poe blinked back a few tears and sighed. “I really hope you’re right. I hope it’s nothing. I hope it’s all in my head.”

“I’m not saying it’s nothing, Poe,” Finn corrected him. “I’m just saying that it’s probably temporary and we will get through this. We will. Together.” Finn kissed Poe’s hand. “Promise.” Poe nodded. Still, he didn’t seem too convinced. Maybe he was? But there was none of that determination or passion Finn was looking for there. It was hard to recognize his husband without that there.

Finn scooted up a little so that their faces were closer and so he could look down and see directly into Poe’s eyes. “I love you,” he said.

Finn was a little relieved when Poe smiled softly at him. “I love you too.”

The sad look on his face didn’t go unnoticed by Finn. “Princess,” he said, leaning down and kissing Poe on the nose.

Poe smiled a little bit brighter, a sad excuse for a laugh escaping his throat. “General.”

Finn saw Poe in there somewhere. At least, he knew now that he was, in fact, in bed with his husband and not a stranger. He didn’t see Poe like this very often anymore. He was sad. “What’s wrong, Poe?” he asked softly.

Poe closed his eyes. It hurt. It really did. He didn’t want to tell Finn but he knew he needed to. They needed to communicate but it was so hard. Usually, Poe loved talking to Finn. He loved sharing little secrets and intimate details with him. He loved opening up to him. But this hurt him to even think about.

Finn brushed Poe’s hair back, leaning down and resting their foreheads together. “Please talk to me, Poe. You’re really starting to worry me now.”

Poe blinked his eyes open, a tear immediately rolling down the side of his face. “I don’t…” Poe felt his voice catch in his throat and he paused to swallow. “I don’t think it would be wise to start a family right now, Finn,” he said. He was surprised he was able to speak the words so clearly. His throat felt so tight.

It hurt.

Finn could hear the pain in Poe’s voice. He could see it in his husband’s eyes as he tried not to cry about it. He could feel Poe’s pain. Finn felt his own pain but he also felt Poe’s. Poe’s pain meant more to him than his own.

Finn wanted to tell Poe he was wrong. But part of him thought maybe he was right. Maybe it would be better to wait until Poe was feeling better and they knew for sure what was going on with him.

Ultimately, Poe didn’t feel like starting a family was a good idea now. And if Poe didn’t feel good about it, even if he really wanted it, it wasn’t something up for debate. Finn could wait. He was more worried about Poe than anything.

“Okay,” Finn said. He wasn’t going to say anything to make it harder for Poe. Not after the day he’d had already. He laid on his side, pulling Poe by the hip to pull him closer. It seemed like a good night for them to switch positions. Poe could be held for one night if he needed it. Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and kissed him on the top of the head. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Poe nodded against Finn’s chest and neck, snuggling into his arms. Finn closed his eyes, ready to go to sleep but the light was still on. He sighed. “Sorry,” he said shifting. “I need to turn the lamp off.”

Poe let Finn be free so he could lean over the both of them and switch it off. One second later, he was laying back down and snuggling up with Poe. “I’m sorry I lied to you,” Poe said. Finn felt him shake with a sob. “I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

Finn furrowed his brows, rubbing Poe’s back firmly. “About the tea?” he asked. It was the only thing he could think of that Poe might be talking about. He really didn’t care about the tea at all. 

“Mhm,” Poe said, he sniffled.

“I thought you said you didn’t lie about it?” Finn asked, trying to sound as gentle and sympathetic as he could. He didn’t want anything accusatory coming through in his tone this time.

“I didn’t,” Poe said. “I just forgot. I didn’t lie about it.”

“If you didn’t lie, then why are you apologizing?” Finn asked.

Poe was sobbing unreasonably hard. Over tea. “Because-cause you think I lied to you.”

Finn sighed. “Poe, that’s not true.” He held Poe’s face in both his hands. “Hey… I don’t care about the tea, okay? Forget about the tea-”

“I didn’t mean to lie-”

“Forget about it, Poe,” Finn said. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault. I’m not mad at you-”

“I would never lie-”

“Poe, it’s tea. You’re literally crying over tea,” Finn said. Poe gasped for breath and sniffled through quiet sobs. Finn sighed and pulled Poe a little closer, running his hand through his hair comfortingly. Poe wasn’t having a good day. He wasn’t in a good place emotionally. Maybe crying about something absolutely pointless was just what he needed. Maybe it wasn’t. But regardless, Finn held him and comforted him until he fell asleep.

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	8. Chapter 8

Finn woke up to the sound of BB-8 bumping against the outside of their bedroom door. It had been a while since he’d woken up to that and he had to admit it put a smile on his face. Finn opened his eyes to check on Poe. He was still sound asleep. Poe was in no shape to go fishing with them even if it was a more relaxing recreational activity but Finn doubted he’d want to anyway.

Finn pressed a kiss to Poe’s forehead and gently rubbed his back, waking him soothingly. “Poe,” he said softly, voice thick with sleep. He patted Poe’s back and ran his fingers through his hair. He even pulled back on it to help stimulate his brain a bit. “Hey, wake up.”

“Hm,” Poe grumbled.

“We’re going fishing today. We need to leave soon,” Finn said. Poe made no effort to move or get up or even communicate in any way. “You gonna come with us?” Finn just heard the sound of Poe’s limbs stretching under the blankets and cracking a couple of times. Finn pressed his lips against Poe’s forehead and said, “You should probably stay here.”

Poe finally shifted to roll more onto his back. “I don’t want to go. I have a weird feeling in my stomach,” Poe said.

“You feel sick?” Finn asked sweetly. “Need me to stay home and take care of you?”

“No. Go have fun,” Poe replied. “I just want to sleep.” Poe rubbed at his stomach, feeling a weird fluttering sensation like maybe he was digesting dinner funnily. There was no way Poe was going to go fishing with the guys if he was feeling like that. Not to mention, he just didn’t want to get out of bed yet.

“You sure?” Finn asked.

“Mhm,” Poe said. He sighed heavily and yawned. It was quiet for a minute until Poe said, “Bye.”

“Geez,” Finn said, sitting up. “I guess I’m leaving then.” Poe chuckled dryly as Finn started to get out of bed. “Wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome now would I?” Finn grabbed some fresh clothes and headed for the door. “You need me to make you some food?”

“Go freshen up. You stink,” Poe mumbled his response. Did he really care about how Finn smelled? No. He probably didn’t even notice. He just wanted him out of his hair so he could sleep some more.

Finn took that as his invitation to leave. After a quick trip to the fresher and a bite to eat, Finn walked into their room to check on Poe and see if he needed to say goodbye. Poe was sound asleep though. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his husband's forehead before leaving.

He walked outside and found Kes and Lando saying goodbye to Dinah. “No Poe?” Lando asked.

“Not today,” Finn said.

Kes shrugged. “I kinda figured he’d bail. He never liked fishing. I don’t know why he insisted on coming with us.”

Finn shook his head. “Yeah. I don’t know what that was all about.” Finn turned to Dinah. “Hey, will you check on him later? He was complaining of a stomach ache. I just want to make sure he gets out of bed and eats something.”

“Of course. Rey and I will keep an eye on him,” she promised with a wink, gesturing behind her where Rey was already sitting underneath the Force Tree meditating.

Finn smiled when he saw her. He was glad she could find some peace here. One of these days, he’d have to meditate with her. “Thanks,” Finn said to Dinah. “And the tea. I didn’t make him any tea.” Finn remembered how Poe had reacted to the taste of it the night before and sighed. “We’ll see if he drinks it.”

“Ready to go?” Kes asked Finn. The guy had always been so happy in the morning. He seemed pretty excited to go fishing with Finn and Lando. They didn’t waste any time heading out that morning. They brought enough food for a meal and some snacks. Perhaps if they caught some fish, they’d eat that for dinner. They’d probably be gone all day long which left Rey, Poe, and Dinah all to themselves on the homestead.

  
  


Poe eventually woke up to the sound of voices in his house. They were coming from the kitchen. It took a moment for him to figure out who it was but he came to the conclusion that it was Rey and Dinah. Light was coming in through the windows of the bedroom, urging him to actually wake up this time and get out of bed.

First Poe used the fresher and then he joined them. “Good morning, Poe,” Rey greeted him. She was sitting at the breakfast bar, a piping hot glass of tea in her hands. Dinah was in the kitchen preparing something near the sink while JayZee stood quietly cleaning in the living area. “Get enough sleep?”

“Is there such a thing?” Poe asked, walking up to the counter to fill up a glass with water.

“Are you feeling a little better? Finn said you had a stomach ache earlier this morning,” Dinah said, putting a hand on Poe’s shoulder and rubbing it.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t really a stomach ache. It just felt kind of weird,” Poe tried to explain.

“But you feel better now?”

Poe shrugged. “I feel like I just woke up.”

“Maybe some tea will help you wake up,” Rey suggested. “I’m sure the water is still hot enough for steeping.”

Dinah slid a hot glass over the counter to Poe. “I already steeped some for you. Finn mentioned you hadn’t had any today.”

Poe looked down at the familiar tea from the night before. A blue leaf floating in the top. He remembered the bitter taste from the night before and he hoped Finn had been right and it had just been steeping for too long. “Thanks,” he said courteously. But he wasn’t quite ready to drink it.

“You want something to eat?” Dinah asked.

Poe shrugged and turned around to search the conservator. “I don’t know. I feel kinda bloated,” he mumbled. But then he saw the jar of pickles and grabbed them without a second thought. “I might eat pickles though.” He closed the conservator and leaned against the counter to open the jar, setting the lid on the counter.

“Pickles for breakfast?” Rey questioned.

Poe pulled out an entire pickle and crunched down on the end. “I used to hate them but since about a month ago they’re all I really want to eat sometimes.” Maury must’ve noticed Poe getting ready to eat because the droid was right there at his feet ready to catch whatever Poe dropped this time. It was something Maury had been doing since Poe was a little boy. It was probably the reason Poe had never learned to clean up after himself.

“Well, if you’ve been eating nothing but pickles for a month I can understand why your stomach feels weird,” Rey teased, reaching her hand out for the jar. “Pass them here. I’d like to try them.” Poe nudged the jar just enough for her long arms to reach. He watched Rey fish out a little one and wiggle it around curiously. She popped the end in her mouth and crunched on it audibly. “Mm. Salty,” she said.

“That’s how they’re supposed to be,” Poe said. “I’ve tried the sweet ones. They’re horrible.”

Rey furrowed her brows. “Sweet? Why would they make them sweet?” she asked.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question every time I open the conservator and see Finn’s jar of them for the past month,” Poe exclaimed.

“Finn has some?” Rey asked, already getting up from her stool to move around the counter and towards the conservator.

“Yeah. Top shelf in the door,” Poe said before crunching down on his pickle. “Now, I would say ‘don’t even bother trying them’ but I’ve been known to be picky so…”

Rey smiled at him as she opened the conservator door. “You’re a picky pickle?”

Poe blinked and paused mid-chew. “I’m a picky pickle,” he admitted. As Rey stuck her head in the conservator to look for said sweet pickles, Poe found himself smiling for the first time that day. He hated it. Rey wasn’t supposed to be the person who stole his first smile of the day. That was Finn’s job. Though Poe was sure, Rey had already stolen Finn’s first smile of the day considering he hadn’t been so kind to his husband that morning.

Rey pulled out a jar and closed the conservator door. She examined the contents of the jar before twisting it really hard to open it. Finn really kept the lid tight. Who knew if it was on purpose or if the guy just really had some arms.

...Poe knew Finn had some arms.

“So you’ve been craving pickles, huh?” Dinah asked. Poe hadn’t seen the way she’d been looking at him the entire time. But there was a casually curious look about her. Poe stuffed the last of his pickle in his mouth and nodded. “Any other weird cravings?”

Poe shrugged and hummed while he chewed. He swallowed and cheeked the pickle in his mouth. “I guess sometimes… not too bad lately but…” Poe swallowed. “At one point I was getting up in the middle of the night to eat leftovers. Every night. For at least a few weeks. And, I’m not going to lie, I ate some weird things looking back on it but in the moment-they’re pretty gross right?” Poe said, changing the subject in a beat when he saw the cringy look on Rey’s face.

Rey chewed the rest of her bite, swallowing it and sticking the rest of the pickle back in the jar. “Well… I will say it’s better than starving to death,” Rey said.

“See, I disagree. I’d rather starve to death,” Poe said.

“I will also say that Finn is a human trash compactor,” Rey said. “I’ve seen him eat far worse.”

“Yeah. You and me both,” Poe said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m watching a toddler. I have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t put things in his mouth that he’s not supposed to.” Poe and Rey both laughed.

“You might be doing just that a lot sooner than you think,” Dinah said knowingly.

Poe and Rey’s laughter died down slowly as Poe tightened the lid on the pickle jar and handed it to Rey. “What do you mean?” Poe asked as Rey moved to put both pickle jars away.

“Poe, everything you’ve been describing to me and complaining about… you understand that they’re all symptoms, right?” she asked. She leaned against the counter and look at Poe seriously.

Poe frowned. “Symptoms of what?” When Dinah raised her eyebrows his shoulders dropped. “Am I dying? Do I have some disease that’s making me lose my mind? Cause I’ve gone space crazy once before and that was-”

“No, Poe.” She covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “You’re not going crazy. You’re not dying-”

“Then what is it? You’re freaking me out!” he said. Now he was anxious, a pit in his stomach. “You can’t just say that I have symptoms of something. Symptoms of what?”

Dinah glanced at Rey, not sure if she should bring it up in front of her. She came to the conclusion that Rey could keep a secret if she needed to and Poe wasn’t going to be patient enough to wait much longer. “Of being pregnant,” Dinah answered.

Poe’s face went completely blank. His mind went blank. He could not compute. “What?” he blurted.

“I think you might be pregnant,” Dinah told him.

Poe stood there, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He wasn’t sure how that would happen so fast. And considering that the night before he’d doubted if it was a good idea at all, he was a little concerned. But he tried to shrug it off. “Pft. No,” he said in denial.

Dinah and Rey shared a look before looking at Poe with their own arms crossed.

“Come on. How would you know?” Poe asked.

“The sickness, the cravings, the moodiness, the bloating, the weird feelings in your stomach,” she listed, holding a finger up for each symptom. “That whole thing yesterday with the high blood pressure. Which tells me, you’re probably further along than you think… by a lot-”

“But there’s no way to know for sure,” Poe tried to argue.

“Yes, there is,” Dinah said. “There are lots of ways.”

“Okay. Then how?” Poe asked. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had to question everything Dinah was telling him all of the sudden. It’s like it hadn’t registered yet that he wasn’t sick or dying at all. Instead, Dinah was telling him that he was probably pregnant and everything that made him think he was sick or dying was happening because of that. “How do you know for sure?”

“There are tests.”

“I don’t suppose you just have some of those on hand-”

“Actually,” she said, scooting the glass of tea towards Poe. “I’ve got one right here. Drink it and tell me what you taste.”

“No. I’m not drinking that,” Poe said, putting his hands up in defense. “It’s bitter.”

Dinah smiled smugly. “That’s all the answer I need. Thank you,” she said. She looked over at Rey. “Is he really always this difficult?”

“I don’t know how Finn does it,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Wait. Wait,” Poe said. “What does that mean? How did you get your answer?”

“You’re pregnant,” she told him. “That tea only tastes bitter to someone if they’re pregnant.”

Poe bit his cheek, trying his best to process the information. “So… I’m pregnant?” Poe asked, just to be absolutely clear.

Dinah nodded. “I was wondering if you might be for a while.”

“Huh?” Poe said, still in shock.

Rey was covering her mouth, also in shock. But then she pulled it away to reveal one of the biggest smiles she could possibly have. “Congratulations, Poe!” she said enthusiastically.

“Uh. Are you sure?” Poe asked Dinah.

“It’s the easiest explanation for all of your symptoms,” she replied.

“Wow…” he said.

“A lot easier than you dying,” she said, poking fun at him.

“Huh…” Poe scratched at his chin thoughtfully. He blinked up at the ceiling, trying to remember some points in time when the symptoms really started. He cleared his throat. “The wedding,” Poe said. “If the symptoms started after our wedding does that mean that…”

“You might be three months along already?” Dinah finished for him and Poe nodded. “Yeah. Probably a little longer considering how long it takes to actually get any symptoms at all. Also, what happened yesterday, with the high blood pressure-” she saw Poe’s face contort into one of concern and put her hands out reassuringly. “Don’t worry. It’s fine, normal even. But usually a little bit later in the pregnancy.”

“So… you’re saying that I might be over three months pregnant?”

“Probably closer to four months,” Dinah said.

Poe’s jaw dropped in shock. “Wha-that’s halfway!”

“I know.”

“How could I go that long without knowing? Or…” Poe looked down at his stomach and it didn’t look pregnant at all. At least, from his angle. “Or even showing?” He rubbed his stomach and stuck it out a little. Maybe he had gained some weight recently? Poe had definitely contributed that to being home and eating so much good food… and pickles. He looked up at Rey and Dinah. “Am I showing? I don’t-I don’t see it.”

Rey and Dinah shared a look again. Rey shrugged again. “I see it,” she said and received a glare from Poe. “Just a bit.” She tried to recover herself. Poe was still giving her a dirty look. “You asked!”

“You look great, Poe,” Dinah assured him. She turned to Rey. “Just always tell them that they look great,” she muttered before turning her attention back to Poe. “So are you going to tell Finn when he gets back?”

“No,” Poe said almost too quickly. “No. I need to know how far along I am first.”

“I’m sure Finn isn’t going to feel any different regardless,” Rey said. “He’ll be really happy to find out.”

“I know that,” Poe agreed. “But when I tell him, I want to be able to tell him how far along I am so that he’ll know how long we have to prepare. That…” Poe looked at Dinah for guidance. “That seems fair, right?”

“Of course,” she said, sweetly reaching up and patting him on the shoulder. “The clinic in town is open tomorrow. I can go with you for an exam. Rey and I can keep a secret for a day or two, can’t we?” Dinah asked Rey.

“Of course,” Rey said, sending Poe a reassuring smile. “I can even keep Finn occupied while you’re gone.”

Poe let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Great,” he said. He smiled at the both of them appreciatively. “Thank you.” Now he needed to process. “I’m gonna hop in the fresher,” Poe said. Nothing like a long shower to get him thinking. This was big. This was what he and Finn wanted. They were starting a family.


	9. Chapter 9

Finn stood at the edge of the small lake, his line cast in the water. Kes and Lando had taken a small boat out in the water and were lounging with their lines attached to the boat. No one had caught anything yet. It wasn’t the best time of year to catch. But Finn didn’t go to catch fish.

Finn loved standing at the edge of the water and watching nature. He loved the way the water would ripple in light breezes. Occasionally, a small gust would push the water up to the tip of his boots.

The lake was tucked away in a small cove of the mountain nearby the Dameron Homestead. They were lucky that it was pretty far off the beaten path and rarely had visitors. Finn liked how quiet it was with just them. He could hear Kes and Lando’s voices very quietly every once and a while. And further away on the shore, BB-8 and D-O were exploring.

Finn hardly paid any attention to the line. He was mostly looking at the mountain. Certainly, not the biggest mountain he’d ever seen. Yavin IV wasn’t a very mountainous place. There were no deep chasms of water either. And no volcanoes. Just rock, jungle, and small bodies of water.

Finn hadn’t seen many of the other geographical features on Yavin IV yet but he wondered if this was the largest mountain on the small moon. Surely, it couldn’t be. Yavin IV had plenty of tourists now that the war had ended. If it was the largest mountain on the moon then people would want to visit it, wouldn’t they?

Even if this mountain was not the biggest mountain ever, Finn still felt insignificant in comparison to it. Snowfall was not a form of weather that Yavin IV experienced. But there it was, on the very tops of the mountain’s peaks. The climate of the moon still baffled Finn. To him, it still felt so unpredictable. But Poe and Kes could glance at the sky, do a few quick calculations, and tell him whether or not it was going to rain that day. Cloud bursts were always the exception. Sometimes those would catch them off guard. But Kes and Poe were trying to teach Finn how to read the skies.

That’s what made Finn realize how incredibly smart Poe was. Sure, sometimes he was the biggest idiot in the galaxy. But the more Finn got to know Poe, he realized how intelligent he was. Kes had told him about the time he’d rigged a speeder to harvest the crops when he was just ten years old. Of course, the exhaust nearly ended up killing the Force Tree and Poe got in trouble for it. But it was still impressive. And Finn saw that same unconventional innovation in his husband’s spirits.

Finn smiled at the thought of Poe. That was why he needed to come out there. He loved Poe. But sometimes, in order to fully love him, he needed breaks from him. Finn felt everything Poe did and lately, Poe was feeling a lot. He needed a day to just breathe. Then when he went home to his husband, he’d already be missing him, yearning to hear his voice and feel his touch.

Finn felt something bump into his leg and he looked down. “Hey, Beebee-Ate. You guys having fun?” he asked. BB-8 beeped affirmatively and said something about D-O being afraid of the water. Finn looked up the shore to see D-O rolling back and forth in the sand, avoiding the water the best the little droid could. “Well, it makes sense. He wasn’t equipped with the same aquatic capabilities as you were, buddy?”

BB-8 warbled before sticking his little arm into Finn’s bag and pulling out a piece of bate. He waved it at Finn before a line popped out of one of his compartments and he attached the bate. BB-8 wiggled excitedly, asking Finn for permission.

Finn laughed at the sight of the little droid getting excited to fish. He supposed he wanted to be like everyone else. “Go for it, Beebee.” Before Finn even finished saying it, the rollie was scurrying towards his friend excitedly.

BB-8 was the first one to catch a fish. Kes was not happy about that. But Finn and Lando seemed to find it pretty funny. BB-8 pulled the fish up onto the shore. The two little droids watched it flop around curiously. BB-8 made a bunch of curious noises as it poked at the fish. When the fish flopped really high in the air, D-O rolled back cautiously. “Jumping fish.” Finn helped them get the fish in the cooler so they could cook it up later.

After a few hours, Kes and Lando made their way back to shore to have lunch. Kes opened the food cooler and pulled out some sandwiches. There were two normal-sized sandwiches and then one that was nearly twice the size of the other. “I made this one for you,” Kes said, handing the big one to Finn. “I learned my lesson the first time I came here with you.”

Finn smiled guiltily as Kes held out the sandwich to him. “Thanks, Kes.” Finn could only imagine what Kes put on it. He probably put a little bit of everything in his conservator on it. “What’s on it?”

“Everything,” is all Kes told him. He passed a sandwich to Lando. “These are normal-sized sandwiches. I gave him the Wookie sized one. He certainly has an appetite that big. I don’t know where he puts it all,” Kes ranted.

Lando laughed and took a seat on a log next to Finn. “He’s young. He can still eat like that.” Lando unwrapped his sandwich. It was loaded with vegetables of all kinds, drenched in some kind of sauce and it looked like there was a thin layer of something that might pass off as meat. He was learning that the Dameron household didn’t consume very much meat though he didn’t know why. “I used to eat a lot too,” Lando said.

“Really?” Finn asked, only somewhat interested, as he took a huge bite of his massive sandwich.

“Up until I was in my thirties I was always hungry,” Lando replied. “Gotta be careful though. It’ll catch up to you. Before you know it, you’ll be wondering why you can’t fit into your clothes anymore.”

“Mm.” Finn swallowed half of the bite. “S’good sandwich.”

“Do you even know what’s on that thing?” Lando asked.

Finn shrugged. “I don’t know but it’s good.”

“What they say about how opposites attract really is true,” Kes told Lando. He had closed the lid of the cooler and was using it as a chair now. “Poe has always been a very picky eater. Impossible to cook for. But then he drags home Finn, the human trash compactor. ‘Look, dad. He’ll eat anything you give him. Can I keep him?’”

Finn laughed. “Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing, Kes? You love feeding people.”

“I do,” Kes said. “But after seeing some of the things you eat, I don’t know if the food I cook is actually good.”

“I don’t like everything I eat. I just like to eat everything,” Finn said. Finn took a bite, a smaller one than before. “Poe isn’t as bad as he used to be though.”

“Eh. Sure. Maybe because he’s not so sick anymore,” Kes said. “It doesn’t matter how much better he gets physically, there will always be more foods that he dislikes or despises than foods he is willing to consume in order to not starve to death.”

“What?” Finn said in disbelief. Kes was exaggerating a bit.

“Is Poe ill?” Lando asked them.

“He’s always had problems with his stomach I suppose,” Kes said. He picked at his sandwich, arranging some of the ingredients to his liking. “I think it’s an emotional thing. When he gets really bad feelings - nightmares - it makes him sick. He’s always been that way.”

“Huh,” Lando hummed interestingly. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. The stress from the emotions is only part of it though,” Finn said. “He was taking a medication that made it hard for him to digest food for a long time.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. We didn’t figure it out until we came home,” Finn said. Although at the time, Yavin IV wasn’t his home yet. Now it was. It felt strange to call a place home. “But uh… I guess everything since has to be related to stress or hormones or something.”

“Has he been very sick lately?” Kes asked curiously. Since they didn’t share a home and Poe didn’t really enjoy talking about that stuff, he didn’t know.

“Depends on your definition of lately…” Finn said. He sighed and scratched his head. There was a lot that had been happening. He’d talked to Rey about a bunch of it. But something was telling him to talk about it now too. Maybe he needed to after what happened the day before.

“Tell us what’s going on, Finn,” Lando said. He put a hand on the young man’s back encouragingly. “I can see it’s worrying you.”

Finn looked at Lando. His eyes were kind and warm. Something about them made Finn feel safe like he could talk. He looked at Kes and found a similar warmth but there was worry set in them as well. “It’s complicated.”

Kes smiled and gestured around them. “We’ve got all day.”

Finn bit his lip. He had a point. But he wasn’t sure how much he should share for Poe’s sake. Maybe he’d keep it vague. “A while back there was a point where he was really sick.” Kes probably knew. Poe spent a lot of time hiding away and laying around in the dark. “I was really worried about him but… then all of a sudden he was fine. And he’s pretty much been fine ever since then… aside from having mood swings and what happened yesterday.”

“It does sound strange that he was sick for a while and then got better all of a sudden,” Lando said.

“I know,” Finn said. “I think that’s part of why he was eating very picky a couple of months back. He couldn’t keep much down. And sometimes he’ll still feel like that but it’s very rare. In fact, he’s been surprising me at some of the things he’s eating.”

“Like what?” Kes asked.

“Pickles,” Finn said.

“I thought Poe hated pickles,” Kes said.

“So did I?!” Finn said. “But that is the least of my problems. After what happened yesterday, he’s pretty shaken up. Or at least, he was last night. He thinks he’s dying. Or that he is chronically ill.”

Kes rolled his eyes. “He’s just being dramatic.”

“I wish he were just being dramatic but the hormones are making him crazy,” Finn said. “Please, do not tell my husband I called him crazy. But he’s insane! He is genuinely convinced that he’s dying because he was sick two months ago and he had a bloody nose the other day.”

“Maybe you needed this fishing trip without him then,” Kes said with a huff.

“I did,” Finn said. “I love him more than anything but sometimes in order to really love him, I need a break from him. And I know it’s not his fault. Last night he was…” There was a promise at some point between Finn and Poe about not telling Kes Poe cried. He couldn’t remember the exact moment but he remembered the promise. “Poe was pretty upset by the fact that I have to deal with all of his mood swings. He feels really bad about it. Which I can feel. I can feel his pain as he’s trying to cope with whatever is going on inside of him.”

“And you have to take care of yourself too, Finn,” Kes said genuinely serious. “You won’t be able to love him and take care of him the way that you want to unless you’re able to take care of yourself. And it sounds like you needed to get away from Poe’s chaos for a day.”

“I did. And, again, it’s not that I don’t love him. I really do. It’s just his emotions… they’re so overwhelming right now,” Finn said. “Last night was really the climax. You know how he’s obsessed with babies?”   
  


“I do,” said Kes with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Starting a family was always a part of our plan,” Finn said. “It’s something we both want but it’s something Poe  _ really  _ wants. It’s the only thing he might want more than to be out there among the stars,” Finn said, waving a hand over his head dramatically. “But because of what happened yesterday, he’s changed his mind. Not his heart. I can tell that he still wants that but in his head, he’s decided that it’s not a good idea.”

“Because he’s afraid he’s dying?” Lando asked.

“I think so. Yeah,” Finn replied. “And up until that moment, I could console him. Or I could give him space but when he said that… all I could feel was his pain. I didn’t know how to console him or comfort him.”

“Sounds like he’s having a really hard time,” Lando said. “Which means it’s probably twice as hard for you if you’re as empathetic towards him as you say you are.” Finn nodded and Lando patted his back. “I hope he gets better so that you can too.”

Kes stood up, stuffing the last bite of the sandwich into his mouth and brushing his hands on his pants. “Look, that’s why we’re here. We all need breaks from something, right?” Kes asked with his mouth full as he readied his fishing gear in his hands. “Maybe a day apart will do the two of you some good. In the meantime,” Kes swallowed and washed down his food with a swing of water. “Let’s make the most of today. You fellas want to join me in the boat?”

Finn shook his head and Lando said, “No, I’m alright, Kes. I’ll stay onshore this time and catch up with Finn for a bit.” He settled on the ground against the log and leaned back. “I may even take a nap. Who knows?”

“Alright then,” Kes said, turning and walking towards the boat. He climbed in the boat and pushed himself out from the shore with his paddle. He seemed pretty content to be on his own. Which was a bit unusual for Kes. He was usually very anxious to do things with other people. Perhaps he was just that excited about fishing. Or maybe talking about Poe like this was worrying him and he didn’t like it.

Finn was still eating his sandwich since he’d been talking so much while Kes and Lando had been eating theirs. He wondered what happened to their little droid pals. He searched the shoreline but he could not find them. Poe would kill him if he lost BB-8. “Where’d BB-8 and D-O go?” Finn asked, not spotting them after his first pass of the shoreline.

Lando pointed directly across the lake. “I think that’s them over there,” he said. Sure enough, across the lake were two tiny white things moving in the rocks and sand. “They seem to be enjoying themselves out here.”

“BB-8 is always down for an adventure no matter the caliber. D-O is a little harder to convince…” Finn bobbed his head in consideration though. “But he’s a curious one. Just a bit timid. Having BB-8 around helps. They’re good friends.”

“BB-8 is certainly one of a kind,” Lando said, sounding fairly impressed. He was laying back against a log comfortably propping his head up with his arm. He closed his eyes as if he could take a nap. The environment was peaceful enough. “Never met a droid as empathetic and clever at once.”

“He really is something,” Finn agreed. “I remember when Poe and I first met, we were escaping a fleet of TIEs just above Jakku. He said we needed to go back to Jakku for his droid and I thought he was crazy. BB-8 and I had a rough start.”

“Yeah?” Lando said, sounding genuinely interested.

“Yeah. When he first saw me, I was wearing Poe’s jacket. He thought I was a thief,” Finn said. The feeling of Lando’s laughter sat warmly in his heart as he continued. “He tazed me. A lot. And Rey kicked my ass along with him.” Finn rolled his eyes at the memory. He could still remember being fresh out of the First Order, the paranoia and the fear of the unknown driving him.

“Poe wasn’t there?” asked Lando.

“No. I thought he died in the crash but apparently he’d been thrown not far from where I was. We just never ran into each other so we assumed the other had died,” Finn said. “Then Rey and I were being chased by the First Order because we were with BB-8. One thing led to another and we were on the  _ Falcon _ . Then we met Han Solo and went to Takodana. That’s where I saw Poe again, flying his X-Wing…” Finn trailed off, remembering what flying was to Poe. Flying was everything to him. “He and his fleet saved us.”

“How did you know it was him if he was flying the X-Wing?”

“I just had a feeling,” Finn said. “I knew it was him. It had to be.”

“Maybe the two of you were destined to find each other,” Lando said. “To me, it sounds like you’ve had an incredibly deep connection from the start.”

“I think so too. Sometimes I wish I could see him in his element like that again though…” That got Finn thinking. “Maybe that’s what Poe needs. Maybe he needs to fly a mission or two to feel like himself again.”

“It’s worth a try,” Lando said. “Pilot’s usually don’t retire because being grounded makes them go crazy. I don’t think Rey would be too excited about Poe taking the  _ Falcon _ . I hear he’s rough on it. But I’ve seen his X-Wing in the hanger. That could be just the remedy you’re looking for, Finn.”

Finn thought that Lando must be right. Maybe Poe needed to take a trip among the stars. Making Yavin IV their home was a decision they made together. They wanted to settle down and take a break from all the war and violence out in the galaxy. But maybe now what they needed was a break from settling down.

If Finn thought about it, an adventure sounded nice, an adventure with Poe. It would be their first adventure as husbands. The thought made him smile. He looked at Lando and beamed happily. Now he felt like he had a plan. “Thanks, Lando. I think you might be right.”

Finn would at least give it a try.

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	10. Chapter 10

Poe looked up at Rey, squinting at the bright white clouds reflecting down on them. Kes had chosen a good day for them to fish. The weather was nice. He heard a clunk and had to dodge a falling wrench.

“Hey!” he called, flinching to the left. “Watch it!”

“Sorry!” Rey called apologetically. She looked down at him at a very precarious angle. Poe didn’t know how she did that. How had she even gotten up there? She jumped down. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re just lucky Finn’s not here…” Poe bobbed his head and shrugged after a thought. “And that he doesn’t know about the baby yet. He would be giving you all kinds of dirty looks.”

“I’m sure he would,” Rey said, smiling at Poe very differently than he was used to seeing.

Poe elected to ignore it for now. But if she kept looking at him like that, he would definitely pry. Or just tell her to stop. He pointed up at the panel of the Falcon she’d just been dangling from to repair. “Everything good up there?”

“Yep,” she said, brushing off her hands on her trousers. She bent down and grabbed the wrench she’d dropped. “I’ve got a few minor things I wanted to spruce up while I’ve got the time. I could use a hand.”

“Yeah. Sure,” Poe said and followed Rey up the back ramp of the  _ Falcon _ . He was dying to get his hands on something. He’d just been working out in the hangar the day before but now that he knew he was expecting and soon other’s would know, he was already missing the time he would get just thinking about it. Finn wouldn’t want him anywhere near electrical panels for a while. Or fumes of any kind. “Won’t be long and the General will be grounding me for the foreseeable future.” 

Rey looked at Poe apologetically again. “I’m sorry,” she said. She knew how much Poe liked to get his hands on things. It was hard to imagine him sitting it out. Then again, it was hard to imagine Poe married and settled down on a small moon in the outer rim. Poe was full of surprises.

“You know what? It’s okay,” Poe said thoughtfully. “It’ll be worth it. Finn and I really want this. I might be taking a break from something that I love but we’ve got a whole other adventure ahead of us.”

Rey lifted up a floor panel, surprising Poe again. She was but a twig. Where was her upper body strength coming from? She hopped down below and looked up at Poe. “Hand me that spanner?” She pointed to a spanner hanging on the wall next to Poe. Poe lent it down to her and she started working on a few things. “Are you excited?” she asked.

Poe sighed. That was a good question. “I think I’m still processing. And holding my breath until we get a bioscan,” Poe admitted solemnly. He’d hate to get his hopes up and then find out something he didn’t want to hear. “But I’ve been starting to feel better emotionally already. If it explains everything that’s been going on with me the past few months, I think it will really help Finn and I stop worrying about me. I’m…” Poe paused to find the right word to articulate his thought. “...hopeful.”

“Were you not before?” asked Rey.

“I wasn’t yesterday,” Poe said, shaking his head. “It’s been a while since I’ve been that low. I think between fainting and dealing with hormones, I was out of it.” Poe sighed, remembering the way he’d left Finn off for the night, telling him he wasn’t sure if they should start a family anymore. “I need to talk to Finn. I think I said something that I shouldn’t have. Actually, I definitely said something I shouldn’t have. You know, these hormones are going to be the death of me. This child better be an angel.”

Rey shook her head, smiling up at Poe. “Is that how it works? The worse the hormones, the better the child?” she teased, holding the spanner up to him and pointing at a small back of tools she’d left on the floor.

“I hope so,” Poe said, nudging the bag towards her with his foot.

Rey pulled the bag down into the floor with her and dug around. “Have you thought of any names?” she asked curiously. “Or is it too early for that kind of thing?”

Poe stepped back and leaned against a wall of the ship. “Yeah. I’ve thought of a few. It’s not something Finn and I have really discussed yet. When is the right time to talk about the names of your future children?”

“I’d imagine now would be a good time for the both of you,” Rey told Poe as she went to work on a different section, lower in the floor. “So what are some of your favorite names?” She really was just curious to know Poe’s thoughts.

Poe put one hand on his hip. The other was gripping the front of his belt. Ever since the blaster shot on Kylo’s ship, his arm was never the same. That trooper got lucky. He didn’t. “When I was younger, I always thought that the name ‘Bey’ was a good one. It was my mother’s maiden name.”

“I like that,” Rey said. She grinned up at him, somehow having acquired a black smudge on her chin already. “It sounds an awful lot like Rey,” she said, sending him a knowing glance. She climbed up out of the floor panel almost effortlessly and pulled the covering back over it securely. “That should do it,” she said looking at Poe gratefully.

“You got a little…” Poe pointed to his chin. Rey wiped at her chin a few times and Poe kept shaking his head. Even after it was gone. “Still there.”

She shoved at him. “Yeah right.”

Poe laughed loudly as they walked down the exit ramp back into the green grass below. They started making their way back towards the hangar to put away some tools. Poe looked at the speeder he’d been working on the day before when he fainted. He’d completely forgotten about it like it never mattered. It probably didn’t.

“Do you think you’re going to have a girl or a boy?” Rey asked on their way out.

Poe looked at her and held back a grin. “You’ve got an awful lot of questions, you know?”

“I’m curious,” Rey said defensively. “I’ve never had a friend who had a baby before. It’s interesting. I just want to know.”

“Okay, Okay,” Poe said, putting his hands up in defense. Her tone was slightly pointed at him in annoyance. Luckily, he didn’t take offense. He laughed it off. “Girl. I hope we have a girl.” Poe saw the scrunched up smile on Rey’s face and laughed. “Obviously, I just want a baby. But, if I have to choose… girl.”

“A girl named Bey,” Rey said thoughtfully. She smiled delightfully. “She sounds wonderful.”

“I don’t know,” Poe said with a shrug. “Lately, I’ve been thinking of another woman that meant as much to me as my own mother. Possibly even more…” He trailed off in thought, glancing at Rey to see if she would guess who he was talking about.

Rey smiled sadly at him. “She thought of you like a son, Poe.”

“I’d hope so,” Poe said teasingly. “She certainly didn’t hold back with the discipline. The number of times she grounded me, I’m sure Kylo-er-Ben-” The name was said with distaste. Poe knew he and Rey had very different feelings about the guy. To Poe, he would always be Kylo Ren, a monster in his nightmares. But to Rey, he was Ben. And as much as Poe hated the guy, he was sensitive to Rey’s feelings. He cared about her. “He’s got nothing on me,” he settled with saying.

Rey looked at Poe, noticing the way Poe had corrected himself even though it made him uncomfortable. She smiled appreciatively. She knew Poe cared. “You really think Leia didn’t discipline him?” she asked curiously.

“I never said that,” Poe said quickly. “But I really don’t think anyone else had the pleasure of being slapped by her. More than once.”

“Well, you disobeyed her a lot, Poe,” Rey said.

Poe squinted at her. “You weren’t even there until after I did a mutiny. How much did she tell you?” Poe asked. “Wait… did she tell you about the… nevermind. It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past-”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Poe Dameron. From the General herself-”

“She exaggerated,” Poe claimed.

“Oh. Really? You’re going to say that about a dead woman?”

“She’s not dead. She’s simply… luminous,” Poe made a dramatic gesture with his arms while he said the last words.

“I think Leia would be a good name for a firstborn,” Rey told him.

“It’s a big name to live up to,” Poe said. “She was a lot. A princess. A senator. A general. A mother…”

“Right. And it’s not like she’s going to have anything to have to live up to already. What? Her grandfather was only a sergeant in the Rebellion. And her father was a General of the Resistance and turned down the opportunity to be an incredibly powerful Jedi. Oh! And her other father was not only a General of the Resistance but he was the best pilot the Resistance had to offer… until her Aunt Rey showed up.”

“Aunt Rey?” Poe exclaimed.

“Both you and Finn are family to me,” Rey admitted.

Poe beamed at her sentiment and laughed, pulling her into a hug. “Aw. Rey. I knew you cared.” He squeezed her tightly around the neck and she laughed. Poe smothered her affectionately, more than she would’ve liked. “Dammit,” he cursed.

Rey pulled back to see he was tearing up. “What’s wrong?”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose and wiped away the tears building up. “Hormones.”

“Right,” Rey said, smiling at him sympathetically. “How are you feeling?”

Poe sighed. He blinked back a few tears. He wasn’t even sure why he’d become emotional all of a sudden. He supposed that’s exactly what hormones did. But at least now he knew what it meant. Poe smiled. “Pregnant.”

“Hm. Interesting,” she said, starting to walk up the steps of their house. “I wonder why,” she teased.

It was that precise moment that Poe started to realize the gravity of the situation and started to freak out. “Shit.” Rey stopped and looked back at him. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

“Yes.”

Poe ran his hand through his hair. “That’s a… little person… who I have to be responsible for.” Rey started to walk back down the steps, no idea yet how she was going to help Poe. “I’m gonna be a parent.”

“Poe,” she said, placing a gentle hand on Poe’s shoulder. She smiled softly at him. It reminded Poe a little bit of Leia. “You’re going to be an amazing parent. And you’re not doing it alone. You have Finn, remember? You’ll do great.”

Poe sighed, feeling that heavy wave of anxiety started to dissipate. “Right…” Poe knew Finn was going to be an amazing father. Even if Poe was bad at it, there would still be Finn who wouldn’t let them down. Finn. Poe smiled at the peaceful thought of his husband. Finn. Who was force-sensitive. Poe’s smile dropped. “Wait…” Poe covered his mouth in shock. How had he never thought of it before? “Finn is… does that mean that our kids are…” Poe made a pathetic sound of panic. “I don’t know if I have what it takes to raise a regular human being let alone one that is force-sensitive. Rey!”

“Poe, what did I just say? You’re not doing it alone,” she said. “And if you and Finn need help when it comes to dealing with the Force, you can ask me. Understand?”

Poe shook his head. “That doesn’t make me feel better,” he said. He looked up at Rey. “Not even Leia could do it. And she was… everything. She was perfect and she couldn’t do it. How am I supposed to do it? I can barely take care of myself.”

Rey sighed and shook her head. “Leia wasn’t perfect, Poe. Her, Han, and Luke made their fair share of mistakes when it came to raising and training Ben. Palpatine was there the entire time, influencing him and Palpatine is gone now.” Rey put a hand on his shoulder. “Fear comes from the darkness. Don’t let it control you. You can only do your best in raising your child and hope they’ll be a light in a universe that needs it.” She offered him a smile. “If she takes after you and Finn, she’ll be one of the brightest.”

Poe looked up at her, a whole stair above him. “That makes me feel a little better.” Rey tilted her head and continued to smile at him. “Can I hug you? I really want to hug you. I’m gonna hug you,” he said very quickly, not giving her the chance to deny his affection. He wrapped his arms around her and held on. He smiled contently when she lightly hugged him back.

They went inside after Poe commented on how small she was compared to Finn. Then that got him talking about how he was probably going to end up being a little bigger around than he was. That was something he’d have to figure out sooner or later.

Then Dinah walked in with bags of food. “I suppose you two might be hungry, yeah? I brought over some vegetables. The garden is overflowing with greens so I want you guys to keep some in your conservator. And before you and Lando leave, let us stock you up with some. They don’t need to go to waste.”

Rey and Poe helped Dinah fix something up for lunch. It was mostly Rey though because Poe didn’t belong in the kitchen. He mostly sat at the breakfast bar and talked to them while they made some sandwiches. “So how are you going to tell Finn?” Rey asked as she assembled a very basic sandwich for Poe. With how much Finn complained about Poe’s pickiness, she knew he would appreciate that.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’d probably start with ‘hey, remember that time we… ehem’ and then go from there,” Poe said nonchalantly.

“Oh dear,” Dinah said, rolling her eyes and laughing up at the ceiling. “To each his own.”

“What? Am I supposed to tell him over a romantic candlelit dinner or something? Cause he’d know something was up. We don’t do that.”

“But you do do quiet evenings on the rooftop and watch the stars,” Rey said.

Poe paused. “He told you about that?”

“Finn tells me a lot,” Rey said. “You make him really happy. Although, lately he’s been very frustrated and stressed out with how things have been with your hormones.”

“Hm,” Poe hummed thoughtfully. Rey was right. Finn had put up with a lot lately. He deserved something special. Maybe a night just between the two of them was something Finn needed. “He said that?”

“He feels everything you do. And he cares about you very deeply. So when you’re under so much emotional stress and Finn can’t do anything to help, it’s going to be draining,” she explained. “It’s not your fault,” she was sure to add. “But the last few months have been hard on you both.”

Poe nodded. “No. I agree. I just… he doesn’t express his frustration with me. It’s hard for me, someone who isn’t nearly as empathetic as he is, to know what he’s feeling, what he’s going through, without him telling me. And I know I don’t owe him anything and it’s not my fault. But I care about him. I want to take care of him.” He could feel himself getting emotional as he said the words. He knew the hormones had to be playing a part in it. Dinah came around the counter with her plate and Poe’s. She set it in front of him and sat beside him. “I want to be a good husband,” he said, choking up. He honestly couldn’t believe himself. Yes. He wanted to be a good husband. But he didn’t need to cry about it.

Dinah cooed at him and rubbed his back comfortingly. “Aw. Honey, you are a good husband. Your marriage is still young though. You have a lot to learn about each other and about how your relationship works. You want a bit of advice from someone who has been through a few relationships?”

Poe looked at her expectantly. He felt a little misty-eyed still. But he knew it was the hormones. Maybe he did feel a little insecure about the way he handled things with Finn at times.

“Take it from someone with experience,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “The most valuable part of a relationship is communication. It’s something you’re going to have to practice every day of your relationship as long as you want it to last. If you can communicate your feelings and your expectations and listen to and respect your partner’s, then that will take care of most everything else.”

Poe felt like he and Finn had always been good at communicating. Maybe she was onto something though. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that they weren’t as great at it as he thought. There were multiple times through the last two years that they’d gotten in arguments over things because of a simple miscommunication. The peak of that was probably when they kept holding back talking about Poe’s past and Finn’s connection to the force.

But just the night before, they’d talked about some very serious things. So it didn’t mean there was a lack of communication in the relationship overall. There was just always room for improvement.

Poe didn’t want to hide the fact that he was pregnant from Finn for very long. Finn would know something was up. There was no doubt about that. But he really wanted to wait until the next night. He’d invite him up to the rooftop of their home to watch the stars and then tell him.

But how was he going to hide it from Finn for an entire day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 Chapters left! And then November is over!


	11. Chapter 11

It was already dark by the time the guys got back from fishing. BB-8 was the first one to scurry into the bedroom door and up to Poe and tell him all about the fun they’d had at the lake. It made Poe smile. “That’s good, buddy. I’m glad you had lots of fun.”

Then a strong arm pulled him flush to its body. Poe looked at his husband and couldn’t help but smile very brightly. He already was having a hard time not blurting out the news to Finn. He’d promised himself he’d wait until after they received a bioscan. “Hi,” he said, unable to hide how happy he was to see Finn. He wrapped his arms around him and chuckled joyfully.

Finn looked at him, running a hand over his hair and tugging on it gently. “Hm. You’re in a good mood.”

Poe shrugged. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you all day. Of course, I’m happy,” Poe said. He hoped it passed as a good excuse. If Finn started acting as though he were suspicious, Poe knew without a doubt that he’d spill the beans. He just prayed to the force that Finn wouldn’t notice something was different. And if he did, that he’d give Poe a break at least for a little while.

Finn didn’t seem to be taken aback by Poe’s happiness at all. In fact, he leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m happy to see you too.”

“Did you have a good time?” Poe asked.

“I had a great time,” Finn replied. “How about you? Pick any fights with Rey?”

Poe bit his lip and shook his head. “Nah. We had a good time.”

“She kept you out of trouble?” Finn teased.

“Yeah. We had a really good time actually,” Poe said. Poe had always respected Rey, even considered her family but after the day they’d had together he felt like they had she felt more like a sister now. “We actually had a few bonding moments,” Poe said cheekily.

“Oh? Really,” Finn said, surprise clear in his facial expression. “You and Rey bonded? Should I be worried?”

Poe shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky for you, I don’t think I’m her type,” Poe said with a wink. “And I’m way too old for her,” he added dramatically with an eye roll.

Finn huffed. “She’s not that much younger than me. What does that say about us, huh?”

“That you like older men,” Poe said flirtatiously.

“Or that you’re very immature for your age,” Finn supplied Poe with what he believed was a more accurate statement. “Because you’re wrong. I don’t like older men. I like you. I don’t even think about other men.”

“That’s a good response,” Poe admitted. They both laughed and Poe said, “You started out kinda rude but then you made up for it in the end,” he joked. “Anyway… you’re probably tired. We should head to bed.”

Finn shrugged and snaked his arms around Poe a little tighter. “I’m not that tired but we could go to bed anyway,” he said suggestively.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, huh?” Poe said playfully as Finn nuzzled into his neck.

“My heart isn’t the only thing growing fonder,” Finn said, grabbing Poe’s ass cheek aggressively.

Poe let out a sharp sound of surprise and laughed, patting Finn on the back. “Yeah, buddy. It’s kinda obvious when you’ve got me pressed this tightly against you,” Poe informed Finn. He gasped and laughed when Finn squeezed his ass experimentally. “Finn!”

Finn pulled back just enough to look at Poe curiously. “Okay, I don’t know how to tell you this but your ass…” Poe frowned in concern. “I swear it’s gotten bigger.” Poe burst out into laughter and held onto Finn. “I’m serious, Poe. It’s always been nice and… juicy-”

“Juicy?!”

“Like a koyo,” Finn said descriptively.

“Oh my-Finn, are you drunk?” Poe asked hysterically.

“Just on love,” Finn swore.

Poe pulled back to look at Finn more closely. “Did you eat any weird berries or something-”

“No. But I wouldn’t mind getting a taste of you tonight,” Finn blurted. Poe looked at him in a way that he thought Finn was joking. Or at least just teasing him. Finn licked his lips and looked at Poe hungrily. “Come on, Princess. Let me have a taste. Please?” he pleaded, brushing their noses together.

Poe sighed and laughed. “Finn…” Finn took the opportunity to squeeze his ass again and Poe caved. “Fine! Fine. On one condition though,” Poe said, holding a finger up in front of Finn who looked at him curiously. “You do the thing.”

“The thing?”

“Ya know… the thing you did the other night,” Poe said alluding to the various activities they’d accomplished in one night.

“Which thing?” Finn asked. “We did a lot of things the other night.”

“The thing with the force.”

“You mean this thi-”

“Finn!” Poe cried out, gripping onto Finn tightly as he felt a wave of pleasure suddenly crash over him. “Dammit, Finn. Not right now. Mmmhmmhmhmm,” Poe moaned, leaning against Finn. “Not now. I’m not ready,” he chided Finn.

Finn laughed as he started shoving Poe towards the bed. “That works fast. I could use that against you, ya know?” Finn teased. He pushed Poe down on the bed and climbed on top of him. “Do you trust me?”

Poe smiled up at his husband. “Of course, I trust you.” He reached up and grabbed Finn by the face, rubbing his cheeks affectionately. “I trust you more than anyone.”

“Even with the force? Which I am relatively inexperienced with?”

“Finn, I trust you,” Poe said more firmly. “I lay my life in your hands. I trust you. Now… can we get on with the sex?”

Finn’s look of admiration turned into something slightly more predatory. “You asked for it, Princess.”

  
  
  


_ “Chance, get down!” _

Finn sat up in bed, waking himself from the dream again. Everything that had happened before, happened again. Talking to the boy. Explosions. His daughter being taken. Troopers. Finn had always suspected that troopers were present in the dream but only after that night did he know for sure. They were First Order troopers. And that terrified him to no end.

“Ow,” Poe moaned, bringing Finn back to reality. Finn looked in the spot next to him where Poe was supposed to be. But he wasn’t there. Finn scooted to the edge of the bed and saw him on the floor. “Why’d you push me off the bed?” Poe whined up at him.

“Sorry,” Finn said frantically. He didn’t waste any time hopping off the bed and helping Poe up. “Sorry. I was having a dream. Um. And I just-when I sat up, you must’ve been on top of me so you just fell off.”

“Rude,” Poe groaned and flopped back on the bed. He let out a heavy sigh. “Come,” Poe said, holding an arm out for Finn needily. “You need to make it up to me.” Finn, again, didn’t hesitate to snuggle up with Poe. Even if what he really wanted was to take a walk and get his mind off of the dream. Maybe being held by Poe would help with that. “What’d you dream about, baby?” Poe asked. Poe rarely called him that. He saved it for his more tender, nurturing moments.

There goes Finn’s hope of getting his mind off of it. “Remember when I was having those dreams about a little boy?”

“Mhm.”

“Well… they used to be happy. But now… now they end with him dying. And there are troopers and, after this time, I just know that they were First Order troopers and-”

“Finn,” Poe interrupted. “It’s just a dream-”

“It’s not a dream, Poe,” Finn disagreed. “It’s not. It doesn’t feel like a dream. It feels, it feels like a memory almost. O-or maybe a memory of the future.”

“Finn,” Poe said sweetly, pressing a kiss to his forehead and comforting him with a light squeeze. “Fear comes from the darkness. Even if this dream isn’t just a dream, all you can do is hope that it’s good.” Poe sighed and held Finn tightly in his arms. “You think maybe you’re just nervous about being a dad?”

Finn opened his eyes and looked at Poe curiously. It seemed a little odd for him to bring this up, any of it. “Poe, I’m not nervous about being a dad someday,” he denied.

“It’s okay,” Poe mumbled tiredly, eyes already closed as he was drifting back to sleep again. “I’m nervous too.” Poe yawned and stretched. “Go back to sleep?”

“Sleep,” Finn said. Being held by Poe helped calm him down enough that he didn’t feel like he needed to get up and walk around. He was content to lay there awake if he had to for a while. Poe gave him something to think about.

Lately, he’d been spending so much time worrying about his bad dreams that they cloud his hopefulness for his future with Poe. He hoped the dreams were just a manifestation of something. He hoped they didn’t mean anything. At least, not anything bad. He had a hard time imagining scenarios where it could mean something good though.

Finn forced himself to think about something that would make him happy. Like Poe. He looked at Poe in the dimly lit room. He appeared to already have fallen back asleep. His face was soft and slightly distorted from squishing it against the pillow. His lips were all puffy like they tended to be when Poe slept, a little shiny from drool.

Finn started to stretch his head towards Poe’s face to plant a kiss there, but Poe suddenly grumbled and started shifting restlessly. “Ugh. M’too hot,” he complained, rolling onto his back and brushing his hair back out of his face. He laid like that for a second before grunting again and kicking off the blankets.

Finn wasn’t sure what to do. He’d been enjoying Poe’s touch. They were always touching when they were sleeping. It felt wrong not to. So once Poe had been settled, Finn carefully laid his arm over Poe’s abdomen. Poe seemed to understand his need and laid his head on his chest, caressing a hand over his face gently.

That didn’t last very long though.

“Sorry,” Poe said, starting to sit up, pushing Finn off of him. “I’m way too hot. I think I need a drink or something,” he said, getting out of bed. He got to the bedroom door and turned back. “You need anything?”

Finn smiled a little at the fact that Poe was completely naked and overheated. “Maybe put on some pants.” As handsome as Poe was in his skivvies, that was not for Rey to see if she happened to wake up to use the fresher that night.

Poe walked back to the bed, walking around the edge and picking up individual pieces of clothing that had been thrown in the midst of their activities a few hours earlier to see if any were suitable to cover his goods. He finally found some undershorts, not sure if they were his or Finn’s but, frankly, he did not care.

Poe came back a few minutes later with a large glass of cold water. He set it on the table beside his bed and sighed apologetically. “Is it okay if I open the outside window? I don’t know why I’m so overheated right now.”

“Yeah. Go ahead.” He’d just use more blankets to keep him warm.

Poe flipped a switch that opened the windows and let in some cooler air. He climbed back in bed and sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want to keep you up.”

“It’s fine. It’ll be a while before I can fall back asleep anyway,” Finn assured Poe.

At that, Poe sighed and turned on the light beside their bed. “Me too,” he said, reaching for the cup of water beside his bed. He downed nearly half of the glass in just a couple seconds. He looked to see Finn holding back a grin as he watched him frantically drink the water. “What?”

“Get enough to drink?” Finn asked.

Poe fanned himself and shook his head. “I don’t know. I have no idea. Ugh.” Poe leaned against the wall tiredly. “I just need a minute to settle down.” He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. “Sorry,” he apologized again.

“It’s okay, Poe,” Finn assured him.

Poe pouted. “I want to hold you but you’re too warm.”

“Want me to fan you?” Finn asked playfully. Though, he would do it.

“Yes,” Poe said adamantly. He looked at Finn cutely, with pleading eyes. “Please?”

Finn chuckled and grabbed his pillow. “Okay, Princess. Whatever you say.” He started whipping the pillow up and down, creating little gusts of wind in Poe’s direction. Only then, did Finn realize how tired he was. It reminded him that it was still the middle of the night. He rested his arms for a second.

“Why’d you stop? That felt good,” Poe said.

“Tired,” Finn said. He leaned forward on his hands and knees, closer to Poe. He chuckled again before blowing on Poe’s face.

Poe sputtered and shoved at Finn’s face. “Ah. Finn, your breath smells like ass,” he complained.

“Hm. I wonder why,” he said sarcastically.

Poe rolled his eyes and grabbed a little tin by his bed. He popped it open and dumped a mint into his hand. “You need this,” he said, pushing it against Finn’s lips.

Finn let Poe push the mint passed his lips. It was a refreshing burst of sweetness and spiciness that he wasn’t going to complain about. “Mm. Thank you,” he said.

Poe put one in his own mouth before setting it back on the bedside table. They sat there sucking mints and watching each other for a few minutes. They didn’t have to say anything. They were just waiting for the time to pass by. They were waiting to feel ready to sleep again.

Eventually, Poe made the first move. He drank a few more sips of water and offered the rest to Finn. “You sure you don’t want it?” he asked.

“I feel better now,” Poe said, pushing the cup into Finn’s hands. “Finish it.”

Finn took the last bit of water and reached across Poe’s lap to set it on the tabletop. “You cooled down?” he asked as Poe was lowering himself back onto the bed. Finn laid next to him but didn’t try to smother him quite yet.

“Yeah. A little bit,” Poe said, rolling onto his side. But unlike usual, he faced away from Finn. Finn almost took personal offense to it. But then Poe reached behind him and took his hand. He pulled Finn closer to him, almost flush against his back. “I still want you,” he told Finn.

Finn smiled and relaxed against Poe. “You sure I’m not too warm?”

“You’re fine,” he said, lacing his fingers over Finn’s and pressing their hands into his abdomen. He let go of Finn to reach for the light switch and Finn’s hand remained at his waist, holding him firmly and affectionately. As he laid back down, Poe felt a surge of emotion from that. Finn didn’t know about the baby yet but it still made Poe emotional. He took a steadying breath and rested his hand on top of Finn’s again.

“You okay?” Finn asked.

“Hm?”

Finn gently rubbed Poe’s stomach, suspicious that Poe might be feeling a little ill after drinking so much water so fast. “You breathed kinda funny just now. Are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” he said. He wasn’t sure what else to say to keep Finn away from the truth for just a little while longer.

“Your stomach hurts?” Finn asked gently. He rubbed Poe’s stomach some more, which wasn’t helping Poe with the emotional thing.

So Poe tightened his grip on Finn’s hand to keep him from moving it. “Little bit.”

“Drink too much water?” Finn asked, taking the hint and relaxing his hand.

Apparently, Poe didn’t even have to come up with an excuse because Finn just gave him one. “Yeah. I was really thirsty.”

Poe couldn’t help but think about where they would be that time the next night. Poe will have already told Finn about the baby. He will have already shown him the bioscan results and revealed how long they approximately have until the baby was born. He was envious of that future Poe. He didn’t like keeping things from Finn. But he only had a little more ways to go before he was there.


	12. Chapter 12

Finn woke up from another dream. This one was nothing like the others though. This one was with Poe. Finn was holding him just like he had been when he’d fallen asleep. His hand was gently resting over Poe’s abdomen. But something was different.

Finn isn’t sure how he came to the conclusion but he realized, in the dream, that Poe was pregnant. So naturally, when he woke up with his hand on Poe’s lower belly, he had an overwhelming feeling that his husband was carrying his child.

He couldn’t explain it. It felt weird to him to have that kind of feeling so suddenly. Maybe he was just getting freaked out by his dream again. That had to be it. Finn shifted his hand up to Poe’s chest and gently patted it. “Get enough sleep, Princess?”

Poe grumbled. “I hate you.”

“Poe,” Finn chided. How could he say such a thing to Finn?

“I was asleep,” he whined.

“Well, now you’re not,” Finn said, sitting up slightly to press a kiss to Poe’s forehead. “I’m gonna make breakfast. What do you want?”

Poe then opened one eye. “Are you an option?”

Finn smiled, leaning down to press another kiss to the side of Poe’s face. “Meet me in the fresher?”

Poe laughed contentedly as Finn started to get out of bed. “You sure know how to wake me up,” he commented. Then he huffed and muttered under his breath, “Asshole.”

  
  
  


Poe sat on the counter in the fresher while Finn finished getting ready. He was munching down on a crispy pickle for breakfast. Apparently, Finn didn’t have to make him anything as long as he had a pickle. “So you’re running into town with Dinah today?” Finn asked. It seemed a bit odd. Then again, Poe wasn’t allowed to do the shopping on his own. He always got into trouble.

“Yeah. Dinah wanted to get a few things for dinner or something and I wanted to talk to Ursa about… what we talked about the other night. Probably not the best idea for me to work there if we’re starting a family…” Poe trailed off and looked at Finn expectantly. He was really trying to avoid the topic of him being pregnant. Just until later that night.

“So is that still a plan?” Finn asked, settling himself between Poe’s knees and holding his hips gently. “Cause the last time we talked about it, you were doubting if that was what you wanted.”

“No. I doubted if it was a smart idea. But we both know I was feeling pretty cruddy that night,” Poe told Finn. Then he licked his lips and held back a grin. “If I were in my right mind, I’d think about all of our other bad ideas.”

“Our?”

“Maybe they were mostly mine,” Poe admitted. Finn chuckled and raised his eyebrows in shock that Poe was willing to admit it. “But it’s still a part of the plan,” Poe assured him.

“Good,” Finn said. “Because I want you to pick up some tests while you’re in town.”

“Tests?” Poe asked. “You mean like pregnancy tests?”

Finn nodded. “Mhm.”

Poe smiled at Finn curiously, brows furrowed slightly. He rubbed the back of his neck a little nervously. Had Finn already noticed? “Why?”

Finn scrunched up his face a little and shrugged, a huge smile on his face. “I just have a good feeling about it,” he said, patting Poe on the rump. He turned around to start taking his leave but Poe stopped him.

“Hey wait,” he said, pulling him back. He could already feel the blush on his face. “Will you watch the stars with me tonight?”

Finn’s smile faded slightly, reminding him of what he’d discussed with Lando the day before. “You miss the stars?” Finn asked, resting his hands on Poe’s thighs.

Poe shrugged. “Not as much as I used to,” he said, eyes sparkling as he looked at Finn in admiration. “Not when I’ve got the brightest one looking at me like I’m the center of the universe every damn day.”

“Really?” Finn asked, blushing slightly. “You don’t wish you could fly a solo mission-”

  
“I’m never flying a solo mission ever again, Pal,” Poe said. “You’re my copilot. I’m incomplete on my own so I can never go anywhere without you.”

Finn sighed and wrapped his arms around Poe, giving him a loose, comfortable hug. “I’m your copilot now, huh?”

“Of course, you are,” Poe said. “You’re my husband. That means that you’re my co-everything. Co-general, copilot… someday co-dads,” Poe said playfully, nuzzling his nose against Finn’s.

Finn laughed warmly, admiring the way Poe’s affection showed through his smile and his touch. But also his promises. “I can’t wait,” Finn assured him. He patted Poe on the knee. “In the meantime, let’s do food.”

Finn and Poe managed to put something together for breakfast just for the two of them. It appeared that Rey had already gone over to visit with Kes for the morning. Poe was eating some fresh fruit and a protein bar when Finn started to grill him a little. “So do you feel any different?” Finn asked curiously as he ate a breakfast wrap.

Poe paused midchew and looked at Finn like a bantha caught in a tractor beam. “Huh?”

“Do you feel like maybe-”

There was a knock at the door before Dinah walked in and Poe let out a breath of relief. He had a feeling if Finn were to finish asking his question, he wouldn’t be able to keep quiet. “Sorry. I hope I wasn’t interrupting,” she said apologetically.

“No. You’re fine,” Poe assured her. He was so grateful she’d chosen that moment to walk in. “Uh. You ready to go?”

“I am if you are,” she said. “I’d really rather go earlier in the day though. It may get busier later and the shops may run out of supplies… are you ready?” she asked, sending him a knowing look.

“Yeah,” Poe said, passing the rest of his fruit off to Finn. “You finish that? We’ll talk later,” he said getting up from his seat at the breakfast bar. He leaned over to give Finn a kiss on the nose. “We on for tonight?”

“Of course,” Finn said, brushing his hand up against Poe’s. “Stay out of trouble, flyboy.”

“Never,” Poe promised Finn teasingly as he brought his husband’s hand up for a kiss. “Bye.” And just like that, he was out the door with Dinah. “You showed up just in time. He was about to ruin the surprise. Saved me.”

“Well, I’m glad,” she said as they headed for the speeder car. “I’ll drive,” she said with a wink.

  
Poe sighed. “Is this going to happen the entire time that I’m pregnant? Are people not going to let me do anything?”

  
  


After Finn had eaten, he cleaned up around the house. With having guests over it had gotten a little less tidy than Finn liked to keep things. But he really appreciated having Rey and Lando stay for a few days. It created a break in the routine, one that was very much welcome and refreshing.

Finn eventually went outside to find Lando, Kes, and Rey visiting by the fire again. It wasn’t normal for the fire pit to be lit so often but it made for a good place to gather around with friends. Finn joined them, sitting on a stump next to the swinging bench that Lando was sharing with Rey.

Finn had walked in amidst a conversation that was hard to jump into. Almost as soon as he sat down, Rey and Kes were standing up. “I’d love to show you, Rey,” Kes said, waving her towards the hangar. “You guys are welcome to join us. I’m going to show Rey the A-Wing.”

“I’ll stay by the fire,” Lando replied.

Finn nodded. “Me too.” Then he smiled as Rey followed Kes to the hangar where Kes would inevitably tell her a few stories about the rebellion. Finn was sure he’d heard them all at least once whether it was from Poe or Kes.

Finn glanced at Lando once they were out of sight before turning to stare at the fire. He kept glancing at the older man, thinking about what he should say. Lando had always been a bit of a role model for Finn. He’d heard stories about General Calrissian from his friends in the Resistance. It always felt intimidating taking on the role of General after hearing about everything Han, Leia, and Lando had done. But ultimately, he found it an honor. And it was an honor to consider them friends.

Finn cleared his throat, thinking about the day before at the lake. “So I talked to Poe about flying…” That’s it.

Lando eventually looked over at Finn expectantly. When Finn said nothing he pried. “What did he say?”

Finn shrugged and shook his head. “He said he didn’t want to. At least… not solo.”

“But he’ll go with you?” Lando smiled, knowingly. Finn nodded and Lando chuckled. “His copilot?” Finn nodded again and Lando laughed again. “Maybe he doesn’t need the stars after all. Or maybe he just found something better.”

Finn felt a little warm inside knowing what Lando meant. Poe had told him more than once that he was Poe’s brightest star. The thought always made him feel a warmth inside of him that he never felt except around Poe. Poe was his star too.

Which got him thinking…

Finn cleared his throat again, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You had a wife, didn’t you?” he asked Lando. He hoped he wasn’t crossing any lines. He almost held his breath but he saw Lando smile at Finn.

“I’ve had a few,” Lando informed Finn slyly.

“Of course, you did,” Finn said, feeling a bit of relief that the subject didn’t appear to be touchy. Though Lando was almost always warm and open. “Were you married to Jan-Destiny’s mother?” Finn asked.

Lando’s face fell for a moment before he smiled again, a little less genuine than before. “I was. For a little while.”

“So… you were around her when she was pregnant?” Finn asked.

“I was,” Lando said. He could see that Finn was a little anxious, rubbing his hands together and pulling his fingers. “Why?”

“Uh. Could you tell?” Finn asked. “I mean… before it was obvious? Were there any signs? Or… symptoms?”

“Yes…” Lando said skeptically, squinting at Finn. “Finn, why are you asking?”

“Well…” Finn opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut. “What were the signs?” Lando was looking at him concerned and Finn sighed before admitting quietly. “Look, you didn’t hear it from me but I think Poe might be pregnant. I’m just asking because I don’t really know what that might look like early on before it’s obvious.”

Lando’s look of concern turned into a grin. Lando paused as if he was trying to keep himself from saying anything but eventually he just sighed. “It’s not always the same for everyone, you know?”

“I know,” Finn assured him, putting a hand up in his direction. “Just tell me so I can have an idea.”

Lando looked at him silently for a moment in disbelief.

“Please?”

“Okay. Fine,” Lando said, chuckling slightly.

“And we don’t mention anything around Kes,” Finn said firmly, glancing back at the hangar just to make sure he wasn’t coming back.

“For her, the first symptom was morning sickness,” Lando started out with.

“What’s that?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. She would wake up every morning and feel really nauseous. It was hard for her to keep down most foods,” Lando said. “Typically, that’s the first signal. At that point, a lot of people have suspicions.”

Finn furrowed his brows and put his hand on his chin in thought. He felt like that hadn’t really been happening yet. “When does that normally happen?”

“Few weeks or a month in,” Lando said unsure with a shrug.

Finn hummed, disappointedly dismissing it. They hadn’t been trying for very long. And he hadn’t really noticed that symptom yet. But he could still watch out for them. In fact, he probably should. “What else?”

“Uh. Cravings. When she was pregnant with Destiny, she had a little bit more control over the cravings. They weren’t as bad. But when she was pregnant with our son-”

“You have a son?” Finn asked. He was almost shocked. How had he not known that Lando had a son? He swore he’d never heard about him.

“Had,” Lando corrected. “He wasn’t much older than Destiny. In fact, he died around the same time she was abducted by the First Order.” Lando looked at the fire sadly, in remembrance of his son.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said. And truly, he did feel that way. He felt hurt. After the dreams he’d been having, he felt like he’d gone through the same thing Lando had. “What was his name?” Finn asked. He thought it would be nice to put a name to the child of Lando’s story.

“Chance,” Lando said.

Finn’s heart stopped. Had he heard that right? Did he say- “Chance?”

Lando nodded. “He was almost three years older than Destiny,” he explained. “My wife-uh… when our daughter was very young, she left us. I was their primary caregiver.”

With every word Lando said, Finn’s heart ached a little more as it pounded in his chest. He was having a hard time understanding why his son’s name could be Chance.

“He loved to hear stories about Uncle Han and Chewie beating up Stormtroopers,” Lando said, smiling fondly at the memory. “I’d tell him a story almost every night to put him to sleep. And almost every morning, he’d wake me up to tell me to make him breakfast.” Lando chuckled, almost painfully sad. “He was always hungry.”

Finn’s mind was no longer on his concerns of Poe being pregnant. Now, he was racking his brain for explanations. How was he having dreams about Lando’s son? “How did he die?” Finn couldn’t help but ask.

Lando’s smile fell. He looked down and shook his head. “The First Order showed up on Pasana. They were ravaging the town, taking all the children. He came to me, asking what they were doing there. The empire was gone. Uncle Han and Chewie had fought them… he didn’t understand. But I made him promise to protect his sister, to be a hero like Han. And he kept the promise.”

Finn shook his head in disbelief. It all matched up. Every piece of the story matched up to his dream. At least, so far. “How?” But he had to be sure before he let it freak him out entirely. He was already pretty freaked out as it was.

“The First Order had her in their possession,” Lando said. He had to tell the story one little piece at a time. Otherwise, it was just too painful even all these years later. “He was running after them to get her, to save her… he was so brave.”

And he blew up? Please don’t say he blew up. Finn wasn’t sure if it would make him feel any better if Chance Calrissian didn’t blow up because the dream was already pretty similar to Lando’s story.

“I called out to him, tried to get him to come back to safety. I knew neither of us could get to her,” he said, tears in his eyes. Lando blinked them back and cleared his throat, trying to stiffen his chest. He sighed. “A blaster shot ricocheted off the First Order transport and ignited some kindling next to some explosives.”

Finn’s chest erupted. He wasn’t sure how obvious this was to anyone that might be watching. But Lando’s eyes were stone set on the fire. Finn was sure that’s how they’d glowed when the explosion happened.

“He was gone,” Lando said. “Just like that. There was never even a body to bury.”


	13. Chapter 13

As shocked and horrified as Finn was in that moment, he forced himself to say something. “I’m so sorry,” he said, the empathy strong in his voice. “I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been. Losing both of your kids at once?” The truth was, Finn could very vividly imagine it. In fact, he’d been vividly imagining that exact scenario for weeks.

“So am I,” Lando said, shaking his head sadly. “It was the worst day of my life.” Lando turned and looked at Finn, smiling at him reassuringly. “But no day could ever be happier than the day I became a father again and got my daughter back.”

Finn smiled softly but it didn’t feel very genuine since he was trying to figure out how to tell Lando that he’d dreamt about that day. He didn’t know how to tell him. Would Lando even believe him? Would he know what it meant?

“I’ve actually been having dreams about him recently,” Lando admitted, looking down at his hand. “Well… not of him but… as him, I guess. I’m sure it’s just the past coming to haunt me in my sleep. Or maybe I’m just crazy.”

“Why would you say that,” Finn asked. He was surprised that he was able to appear calm and collected. On the inside, Finn felt like a storm in one of the most violent seas.

“Because in the dreams it’s almost like I’m trying to trick myself into believing he’s alive,” Lando said. “Or that he didn’t die. But there’s no way he could’ve survived.”

Finn hummed curiously. “Mind if I ask what happens in the dream?”

Lando sighed. He’d spent so much time avoiding talking about it. But the dreams were what was keeping him up at night and stealing his sleep and his energy. His dreams were why he needed a break and Rey had brought him there. “In the dreams, I wake up and I’m him, looking up at me and promising me that I’ll protect my sister. And then everything happens the way it had that night.”

“Except he lives?”

Lando nodded. “Somehow. I wake up-er-he wakes up in this cold, sterile place. He’s with the First Order and they’re… trying to brainwash him. Trying to make him forget his name.”

“It’s the first thing they make you forget,” Finn explained. “It dehumanizes you. It makes it easier to forget everything else once you lose your identity.”

Lando looked up and at Finn. “You don’t remember anything about where you came from?”

Finn shook his head. “Not a thing,” he said. “What else happened?”

“This officer kept asking him his name. In the beginning, he just cried for his sister. But then they started hurting him. That’s when he would say ‘My name is Chance Calrissian’ repeatedly. Until he forgot. He just forgot. They asked him who he was and he couldn’t answer because he didn’t know,” Lando said. “And that’s the part where I wake up. I’m sure he’s dead. Even if he was taken by the First Order that day and survived, I don’t think very many First Order troopers made it that long. But I’m sure it’s just my old mind playing tricks on me… wishful thinking I suppose.”

Finn wasn’t sure about that. Either case was possible. “...yeah…” But it felt all too familiar to him. He didn’t think many people knew about the name thing. And considering he’d been having dreams from Lando’s perspective of that day… it was possible that Lando’s dreams were of his perspective… which meant that…

Was Lando his father?

“Anyway… back to the pregnancy thing,” Lando said. “When she was pregnant with Chance she had the most bizarre cravings.”

Finn wasn’t sure how Lando could switch from such a hard subject to a more lighthearted one so easily. Of course, he’d had twenty years to digest what had happened to him that day. And Finn had barely had a minute to process the possibility that his father could be sitting right next to him, telling him about a fatherhood that might be just around the corner for him.

“I caught her eating the weirdest things,” Lando recalled fondly. “She ate half a melon almost every day. And pickle sandwiches.”   
  


Finn furrowed his brows, the word ‘pickles’ catching his attention. “Pickle sandwiches?”

“Yep.”

“Poe used to hate pickles,” Finn said. Glad his mind was starting to get back to their original topic. He could think about that later. He’d definitely tell Poe when he got back. Finn was sure he was losing his mind, that he was just jumping to conclusions. “But he eats them every day now.”

Lando looked at Finn knowingly and smiled. “Well, there’s a sign-”

“What else?”

“There’s this thing that they call pregnancy glow,” Lando explained. “It’s basically just sweet and more flushed cheeks which-uh… well, you’ve seen Poe lately.”

“People keep saying there’s more color to his face…” Finn said. And now his heart was beating a little faster than normal for a different reason.

“There are also a lot of hormonal mood swings,” Lando added.

Finn looked at Lando with wide eyes. “Well, that-that certainly is something he struggles with-”

“Have you talked to him about it yet? Or asked him if he’s noticed anything?” Lando asked.

“Well, I was starting to ask him some questions and then Dinah walked in and stole him so… I guess we’ll have to talk about it later,” Finn said. He buried his face in his hands and sighed heavily. So now he was pretty sure they were having a baby. He was going to be a father. And on top of that, Lando might just be his father. “Oh man…” Finn said nervously. “I-I have a lot to think about.” He stood up. “I’m gonna take a walk.”

Lando smiled at Finn, almost feeling bad for him. He could remember his own nerves upon entering fatherhood. He was sure Finn was feeling something similar. “Take a walk,” he told him. “But don’t worry about it too much, okay? You and Poe will make good parents. If you can handle the resistance, you can handle a few kids.”

  
  


After walking around the koyo orchards and panicking about everything that he’d just discovered, Finn resigned to sitting underneath the Force tree and trying to meditate. He kept telling himself that he didn’t need to be panicking at all. He didn’t even know if Poe was pregnant yet. And he also didn’t know if Lando was actually his father.

But when he looked at the little pieces of evidence, he couldn’t help but come to those conclusions. And both at once were a bit overwhelming.

As Finn sat, trying to meditate, trying to be one with the Force, to feel everything, all he could feel was the panic of not knowing for sure. No matter how hard he was trying, he could not meditate.

“Care if I join you?”   
  


Finn opened his eyes and saw Rey. For some reason, her just being there sent a wave of relief over him. Rey would know what he needed to do. Rey would have answers, wouldn’t she? “Hi,” he blurted, the uneasiness inside of him coming out of his throat when he spoke. He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Go ahead. Have a seat,” he said frantically.

Rey almost laughed at Finn’s franticness but instead, she sat down, training her expression to one of listening and understanding. “Are you alright? You seem a bit jumpy?”

“I’m fine,” Finn automatically blurted. Then he shook his head. He didn’t know why he was even trying to hide something from Rey. “No. Actually, I’m not fine. I am so far from fine…” Finn sighed, leaning back and rubbing at his neck, so clearly stressed out. “I was fine. I thought I was going to be fine but I didn’t expect…” He trailed off, looking up at the tree, getting lost in his thoughts again.

He hadn’t been looking to find his family. And it didn’t seem fair that something like this would come up. It was all just a construct in his head, an idea. He didn’t know but he was already so hopeful and sure.

Rey’s hands taking his interrupted his thinking. “Finn, you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

Finn took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I know,” he assured her. “I just… I don’t know how to talk about it. I think I’m afraid to say it out loud.”

Rey sympathetically patted Finn’s hand. “Is this about Poe again?” she asked. “Because you don’t need to worry about him. Poe is going to be alright.”

Finn opened his mouth to tell her that it wasn’t about Poe. But then he remembered it was partly about him. “Well, it sort of is. But that-that’s not what-something else is bothering me.”

“Something else that has to do with Poe?” she asked.

“No, it has nothing to do with Poe,” Finn said, almost sounding defensive and irritated. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “It’s about the dreams.”

“Did something else happen?” she asked carefully.

Finn opened his eyes and huffed. “Sort of.”

Rey looked at him expectantly. “Well, Finn. You’re going to have to be more specific than that. Was it really that bad?”

“No. Nono. You don’t understand,” Finn said. “They aren’t my dreams. I have them but they’re not mine.”

Rey looked very confused. “I’m sorry. I don’t follow.”

“They’re Lando’s dreams,” Finn said. “I’m having Lando’s dreams. He said that he had a son named Chance and he told me exactly how he died and-and…”

“And it’s exactly how it happens in your dreams,” Rey finished and Finn nodded. She seemed to pause and think about it curiously for a moment. She couldn’t see why Finn was having such a hard time with this. “And why does this bother you so much?”

“Because…” Finn said slowly, taking another breath. He seemed to be having a hard time breathing. His chest was tight with angst. “He’s been having dreams too and I think they might be mine.”

Rey’s eyes went slack, no longer furrowed but open in wonder. “Explain.”

“He said he sees them from his son’s point of view, waking up and being brainwashed by the First Order to forget his name. That’s the first thing they make you forget,” Finn said desperately looking for something from Rey. Did she connect the same dots as him or was he just hoping, wishing?

“You think he’s your father?” Rey asked.

Finn nodded slowly, unsure of himself. “Am I wrong for thinking that it’s even a possibility? I mean, is it just me or does it seem like… like there’s no other explanation?” he asked her.

Rey took his hands, squeezing them gently and reassuringly. She could tell that Finn was overthinking. He was overwhelmed. And even afraid of what this might bring him. “I don’t think you’re wrong for thinking that at all. It’s where my mind went as you were explaining it also.”

Finn squeezed her hands back and gave her a pathetic excuse of a smile. “What should I do?” he asked her.

“You haven’t talked to Lando about it?” she asked, firm patience in her voice that put Finn at ease.

“No. I needed to take a walk and…” he closed his eyes, remembering it wasn’t just the situation with Lando that was overwhelming him but the situation with Poe. “I needed to think about it.”

“Well, Finn… I need you to stop thinking for a minute,” she said softly, lifting their hands so that they were evenly between them. “You were trying to meditate when I interrupted you, were you not?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah.”

“But your mind is too busy worrying about this thing with Lando.” She closed her own eyes demonstratively and took in a long, deep breath. Finn sat up straight, doing the same. He had less control on the exhale. But it helped to have her there, anchoring him, reminding him that everything happened for a reason and he didn’t need to be afraid of what would happen next.

Maybe Lando was his father. Maybe he wasn’t. Either way, Finn would survive and he’d have to learn to be okay with it. Same thing with Poe. Maybe he was pregnant. Maybe he wasn’t. Either way, they would survive and they’d be alright. Finn took in another breath, this one was warmer, more controlled as he exhaled.

Lando might be his father.

Finn repeated the process. Inhale. Steady. Warm. Exhale. Steady. Warm.

Finn was going to be a father.

Inhale. Steady. Warm. Exhale. Steady. Happy.

Finn found it. He found the peace within his inner turmoil. He found his happiness and settled there. He anchored himself to that peace and reached out with his feelings from there. He let the Force guide him, resigning to whatever revelation it would bring to him in that moment.

More than anything, Finn just felt at peace.

  
  
  
  


Poe had to control himself. As much as he wanted to jump out of the speeder and run up to Finn to tell him everything, he resigned to wait just a little bit longer. He could do that. So he climbed out of the speeder and helped Dinah unload some supplies into the house before he left to look for Finn. He was looking forward to their night under the stars.

Poe had a suspicion he might be out under the Force tree. As he walked out there, his suspicions were confirmed. Finn was sitting, legs cross on the ground, Rey directly in front of him. They were both sitting up straight with their eyes closed - meditating.

Finn looked so zoned in on the Force, feeling everything - or whatever it was that he felt when he was in that place. He looked calm, at peace. Poe didn’t dare interrupt him.

Apparently, he didn’t have to. Finn turned and looked directly at him. There was a twinkle in his eyes, a half-smile that made Poe shiver.  _ I can’t believe he’s mine. _

Rey dropped Finn’s hands but didn’t open her eyes. She was still present but she hadn’t lost focus the way Finn had when Poe came onto the scene. “Go,” she told Finn assuringly. “We’ll do this again tomorrow.”

Finn looked at Rey, tempted to give her a hug and thank her but he could tell she was focused. He chose not to interrupt her any more than necessary. So he stood and walked to where Poe was standing. Neither of them said anything at first. There was a silence that wasn’t uncomfortable but it felt out of place for them.

“I need to talk to you,” they both said at the same time. Immediately, they both chuckled. Poe looked down and kicked the ground, trying to hide just how happy he really was. Just a little bit longer.

Finn cleared his throat. He figured his thing would wait. The possibility of Lando being his father was kind of a heavy subject. “You first,” Finn said courteously.

Poe looked up at Finn and licked his lips. He opened his mouth to say something. He wasn’t sure what about. Maybe he was going to ask Finn what he wanted to talk about. But he closed his mouth and sighed. “I have a better idea.”

Poe took Finn’s hand in his and stepped closer. He laced their fingers together gently and squeezed Finn’s palm. “I thought you only had bad ideas?” Finn teased, voice low with only a dry warmth to it.

Poe couldn’t help but smile at Finn’s little quip. “Well, then I guess you’re in for a surprise,” Poe said. “Because I think we should take a few blankets and some leftovers up to the roof. And then we can talk.”

Finn smiled fondly. “Wow. That is a good idea,” he complimented Poe, bringing his hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it. “I like the way you think, Poe Dameron.”

“I like the way  _ you  _ think,  _ Finn  _ Dameron,” Poe teased back, a certain kind of domestic fondness in the way he said it. Poe rarely called him that. There was no legal process that changed his name. Poe had just declared that he was a Dameron now and when he did call him by that name it was when he was feeling particularly domestic. Either that or possessive. In this case, it was domestic. Soft.

And ironic. Finn couldn’t help but think about how his name might not even be Finn. His name was Chance Calrissian. Probably. Maybe. Somehow it felt both right and wrong at the same time.

He was Finn, Poe’s Finn. Finn tugged on Poe’s hand, urging him towards their house. “Let’s go watch the stars, flyboy.”


	14. Chapter 14

Finn and Poe sat on the rooftop eating cold leftovers. Poe was unusually quiet but Finn hardly noticed. His mind was still reeling. The meditation had helped calm him but it was still all that was on his mind.

Poe felt tingly. He was excited. He was nervous. If Finn had been paying attention, he would have noticed that he was dying to tell him something. But Poe noticed that Finn’s mind was somewhere else for he was staring blankly at the patterns of the blanket beneath them.

“What’s on your mind?” Poe asked Finn, nudging their knees together gently.

Finn turned to him, just before he could put a spoon full of a rice dish in his mouth. Finn blinked before stuffing it in his mouth and looking at Poe questioningly. “Hm?”

“You’re distracted,” Poe pointed out.

Finn slumped his shoulders letting out a disappointed sigh and stuffing his spoon back in his bowl. “Sorry,” he said, looking at Poe sincerely. “I just… the thing I was gonna talk to you about… I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Poe sat back, leaning on his good arm to look at Finn. He gestured at him, smiling somewhat slyly. “I’m all ears, buddy.”

Finn’s heart warmed at the sight of Poe so openly ready to listen. He just wanted to lean over and kiss him gingerly on the lips for a few minutes. But he knew what Poe wanted, openness and honesty from his husband. He cleared his throat, taking in a slow breath to prepare himself just as much as Poe, “I think Lando is my father.”

Poe’s face immediately fell into a serious one as he sat right back up, furrowing his brows at Finn in concerned surprise. “You what?”

“Lando…” Finn stumbled. “I think he’s my father.”

“I got that part,” Poe assured Finn putting a hand up. “But… how? I mean, why do think-what gives you that idea-or feeling? Is it a feeling? I mean-”

“The dreams,” Finn said. “It’s the dreams. They’re not mine. I’ve been having dreams of Lando’s memories and I think I’m the kid. He’s been having dreams too.”

“About what?” Poe asked, face still contorted in that surprised look of confusion. He almost looked like he was going cross-eyed.

“His son being brainwashed by the First Order,” Finn said. For a few seconds, Finn was concerned by the look on Poe’s face. There was so much concern and confusion knit into those thick, dark brows of his. But then, out of nowhere, a smile broke out on his face. “What’s that look for?” Finn asked.

“I knew he reminded me of someone,” Poe said, smacking Finn enthusiastically on the chest.

Finn huffed immediately, catching Poe’s hand to scold him with a look. “Poe, I’m serious. This is serious. It’s big. I’m… scared?”

Poe’s face fell again, shaking Finn’s hand with a look of sympathy. “Babe, why are you scared?”

Finn smiled at the sentiment. Poe didn’t call him that often but whenever he felt the need to be incredibly sweet, he used that term of endearment. It only went a little ways though. Finn looked down and shook his head. “What if he’s not? What if I’m just hoping he is?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you having hope, Finn,” Poe said. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Rey about fear and hope. “Hope comes from the light. The fear is what comes from the darkness.”

Finn blinked at Poe. “Okay. That’s the second time you’ve said that. And you’re not the type to get into the black and white of right and wrong. Poe…”

Poe sighed. “I told you that Rey and I had a few moments yesterday. We talked. It was… nice,” Poe said, downplaying how much spending time with Rey had really benefited him.

“What did you talk about?” Finn asked, curiously.

“Well… that fear comes from the darkness…” Poe said quietly.

Finn’s brows scrunched up in gentle concern. “Who’s afraid? You or her?”

“Uh…”

“What are you afraid of, Poe?” Finn asked.

“Ugh,” Poe rolled his eyes. “I’m not anymore. We had the talk-”

“Poe, talk to me-”

“Finn, it’s still your turn to talk,” Poe said firmly. “What have you done about this? Have you talked to Lando?”

“I talked to Rey.”

“Of course, you talked to Rey,” Poe said, not helping the slight bitterness in his voice that, not for the first time, Finn went to Rey before him. “But what about Lando?”

“No, I haven't talked to him. What am I supposed to say?! It’s not like I can just walk up to him and ask him if he’s my father.”

“Well, obviously not. But are you going to talk to him?” Poe asked.

“I don’t know how to, Poe,” Finn replied, emotion in his voice. “It’s hard.”

“Does he know about the dreams?” Poe’s tone shifted from one of mild aggression and annoyance to one of soft concern. Poe was never truly annoyed with Finn. He was just annoyed that Finn hadn’t done anything about it. And that was coming through in his tone and affecting Finn. Poe had no idea if he was just being his usual quick-to-fire self or if it had something to do with hormones. Either way, Finn needed to know his husband was on his side and there to support him.

Finn shook his head.

“Maybe start there,” Poe offered. He squeezed Finn’s hand and smiled softly. “If you need me to be there when you talk, that’s alright?”

Finn nodded, squeezing Poe’s hand back. “Thank you but… I think it’s something I need to do myself,” he explained. He sighed, feeling a weight release knowing Poe knew what he knew now and that his husband was there by his side. “This is big, isn’t it?” Finn asked unsure.

Poe looked at Finn in disbelief. “Buddy, this is huge. It’s a big deal alright.”

Finn felt reassured at Poe’s words and nodded. But Poe was going to tell him something. “Sorry. Does this ruin whatever you were going to talk to me about?” Finn asked, closing his eyes and sighing apologetically.

“No. No,” Poe assured him. “Don’t worry. Nothing could ruin what I was going to tell you.” Poe couldn’t think of anything that would.

“Are you still going to tell me?” Finn asked.

Poe looked Finn in the eyes, his world freezing for a moment. This was it. This was the moment he’d been waiting for. He’d finally get to tell him. Poe sat back, sighing, and suddenly finding it hard to speak. He reached under one of the blankets and pulled out a datapad, bringing up an image and passing it to Finn.

Finn looked at Poe expectantly, not sure what Poe wanted him to do. When he received no further instructions or response, he looked down at the image on the datapad. At first glance, it looked like the sky on a starry night, back on Ajan Kloss with clouds whisping through the atmosphere. But he blinked at it a few times, trying to see more… a map maybe? Of a sector he didn’t recognize? Was this a map of a sector in the unknown region? “Um… why did you give me a map?” Finn asked, looking up at Poe in confusion.

Poe covered his mouth to laugh, shaking his head fondly. “Finn, it’s not a map. Dinah and I… we didn’t go into town to pick up supplies. She actually wanted to take me to a clinic…” Poe said, hoping it would lead Finn in the right direction.

Finn blinked at Poe, looking back down at the image, trying to associate whatever it was with Poe going to the clinic. “Oh. Is this a bioscan?” Finn asked Poe.

“Yes.”

Finn squinted at it. He had no idea what body part that was. And since he couldn’t recognize it, he wondered if maybe that was the problem. He looked up at Poe, full of concern. “Is something wrong, Poe?” he asked.

“Oh my-Finn, can you seriously not see it?” Poe asked. “Have you never seen one of these?”

“Is it a tumor?” Finn asked, almost in tears.

Poe barked out a laugh, a tear rolling down the side of his face. “Finn, that’s not a tumor. It’s a baby!”

“A ba-” Finn’s eyes shot back down to the image. Sure enough, what he’d imagined were clouds in the Ajan Kloss sky, outlined an unmistakable shape. “A baby?” Finn said, soft with wonder. Finn knew he should have felt like an idiot, so stupid for thinking his child was a map. He’d even been suspicious that Poe might be pregnant, almost sure. He should have made the connection. “You’re pregnant?” Finn looked up at Poe.

Poe nodded, unable to contain the tears. He didn’t know where they were coming from. They were just pouring out of his face now. “Yeah.”

“Huh,” Finn said in shock. He blinked twice before it processed and a huge smile broke out on his face. He laughed happily and leaned forward, tackling Poe with a hug. “We’re going to have a baby,” Finn told him.

“We are,” Poe said, crying and laughing at the same time, hugging Finn back. “In four months,” he added.

Finn pulled back, looking at Poe, dumbstruck. “You’re four months along?”

Poe nodded, whipping back some tears. “Yeah.”

“We’ve barely even been together for four months,” Finn said. “Did we really-”

“Apparently, all it took was one time,” Poe said, shaking his head fondly. He laughed at the look of disbelief on Finn’s face and smacked him gently on the chest. “Hey, you’re just  _ that  _ good, pal.”

Finn shook his head and laughed. “Are you being serious?”

“Of course, I’m being serious.”

“How did we not know?” Finn asked. “I…” Finn furrowed his brows and shook his head. “I don’t understand, Poe. Walk me through it.”

“Remember when I was sick for a month?” Poe asked. “The cravings, the mood swings, even the high blood pressure-”

“I told you that you weren’t dying,” Finn sassed at him. “And what about the high blood pressure? Is everything alright? Is that normal?”

Poe sighed, clicking his toes together. “Everything is alright. It’s just an indicator that I really need to be taking it easy-”

“And my job just got a whole lot harder,” Finn said to himself, making Poe roll his eyes and shake his head. “But how easy? Does that mean laying in bed all day?”

“Sort of,” Poe explained but he sounded unsure.

“Sort of?”

“I’ll have to show you the doctor’s notes,” Poe assured him. “But not right now. I have something else I want to tell you,” Poe said, already tearing up.

Finn immediately became concerned. “Well, what is it, Poe?”

Poe cursed himself internally for tearing up like what he was about to say was a bad thing. It just made him emotional for reasons he could not explain without blaming it on the hormones. “Can-can I tell you the sex of the baby?”

Finn sighed in relief. He’d thought something might be wrong. “Of course, you can, Poe. I’d never make you keep that a secret.”

“Good because I wouldn’t be able to,” Poe said, voice high with emotion. He pinched the bridge of his nose to wipe away some tears forming. “We’re having a girl,” he said, somehow laughing and crying at the same time.

Finn and Poe looked at each other both of them smiling, Poe with tears of either joy or hormones trailing down his face. Finn moved even closer to Poe to wrap his arms around him and place a kiss on his forehead. “Are you happy?” Finn asked him.

Poe sniffled and wiped back a tear. “Of course, I am. I just… I’m overwhelmed and overjoyed and hormonal. And terrified.”

“Is that how we’re supposed to feel right now?” Finn asked. Quite frankly, he was feeling the same way.

Poe smiled and chuckled at Finn. “Well, I don’t think you’re supposed to feel hormonal but yeah. I think we’re supposed to feel like this right now.”

“How long have you known?” Finn asked.

“Um. When you went to the lake is when I kind of figured it out. Dinah helped me come to that conclusion,” Poe explained very vaguely. “I wanted to wait and tell you until I had a bioscan. I figured you’ve been putting up with so much lately that you deserved something special from me. I wanted to tell you under the stars. I wanted to surprise you.”

Finn was touched at Poe’s thoughtfulness. Poe wanted to surprise him. Was he really all that surprised? No. He’d had his suspicions about Poe being pregnant. But he was surprised at the thoughtfulness of his husband. “I bet you’ve been dying to tell me then.”

“I have!” Poe admitted, happy to get that off of his chest. “Especially after the bioscan. I’ve been wanting to tell you so bad.”

Finn smiled, pressing his forehead against Poe’s. “That was very thoughtful, Poe.” Finn reached a hand up and caressed Poe’s face tenderly, smiling softly. “But you don’t owe me anything. I hope you know that. Everything I do for you, I do because I love you and I don’t want anything in return.”

“Well, too bad because I love you too,” Poe retorted. “And I want you to know that; I want you to feel it so I have to show you and that means I’m going to-” Poe was silenced with a kiss on the lips, soft and warm and deep. Poe didn’t feel the need to continue. Finn understood what he meant. Finn always understood him. To him, Finn was perfect. Maybe not technically flawless but to Poe he was perfect.

When Finn pulled back, Poe was crying again. “Poe Dameron, you are a mess,” Finn teased carefully. He wiped back at Poe’s tears. “Hormones, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Poe confirmed, huffing out a laugh. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes, shaking his head at himself. At least, now he knew where all those emotions were coming from. Everything he was going through would be worth it. He knew. That reminded him… “Oh, I have something else I want to tell you.”

Finn raised his eyebrows, brushing back one of Poe’s curls. “Something else?” he asked.

Poe nodded, taking a deep breath as that unexplainable wave of emotion seemed to pass. He sat back a little bit, looking at Finn who was patiently waiting for Poe to explain himself. “Remember the other morning when we were eating breakfast and I said my stomach felt weird?”

“Uh huh.”

“And the morning you went fishing it felt weird again?”

“I remember you mentioning it,” Finn said, sounding a little worried. His immediate thought was that something else was wrong. And when Poe started to tear up again, he sat forward and leaned close. “Poe, what’s wrong?”

Poe grunted. “Nothing is wrong. Just give me a minute,” he snapped. Poe closed his eyes and Finn sat back, sitting in silence while he waited for Poe to tell him what was wrong. But then Poe smiled through his tears and too a deep breath. He opened his eyes and beamed at Finn even bigger. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just… my emotions are all over the place right now,” he said with a huff of laughter at the end of the phrase. “Um.” Poe put his hand on Finn’s knee and rubbed it, clearing his throat. “It was the baby,” he said. It felt weird in his mouth, the words did.

Finn’s look of concern was still prominent on his face. “What do you mean ‘it was the baby’? Is everything alright?” Finn asked.

“I just said everything was fine,” Poe retorted. “She was moving. That’s normal. It’s good,” Poe assured him. “Babies are supposed to move-”

“Sith Lord, Poe,” Finn cursed. “You’re really that far along?”

“Mhm.” Poe bit his lip, a blush on his cheeks.

“Already?” Finn asked. Poe was beginning to think that Finn might be in shock. “Just like that?”

Poe chuckled under his breath and ducked his head a little bit. “I mean, this is all happening a bit sooner than we anticipated but…” He looked up at Finn through his eyelashes, so long and dark. “Far worse things have happened to us,” Poe offered, sounding a little hesitant, smiling at Finn tentatively.

Finn scoffed. “Are you kidding? We managed to survive and win a war against the Final Order. I think we can handle a baby four months earlier than we planned,” Finn assured Poe confidently. He took a moment to wrap both of his arms around Poe and hug him tenderly. “This is amazing, Poe. We’re gonna be parents.”

Poe hugged Finn back, smiling into his shoulder. “I know. It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?”

It was. Finn’s mind especially was still reeling with the new information: baby, girl, moving… parents. Dad.

Finn was going to be a dad.

He might  _ have  _ a dad.

What a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE CHAPTER!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of part two

Finn paced back and forth underneath the force tree. He’d told Lando that he needed to talk to him and brought him out to the tree. For some reason, that was where he felt the most comfortable having the discussion he needed to. But he still could not bring himself to say anything to Lando. He didn’t know where to start.

Lando cleared his throat, watching as Finn paced and rubbed his chin in thought. “What do you want to talk about, Finn?” Lando asked.

Finn halted and looked up at Lando, a pit of anxiety rolling around in his stomach. Oh. He needed to get this over with. “The dreams… I’ve been having them too.”

Lando furrowed his brows. “You mean, you’ve been having the same dreams as me?”

Finn shook his head. “No. Not exactly. I mean, what you told me yesterday about your son - the way he died - I’ve been having dreams about that for weeks. I-I thought that I was me but I was actually you and the boy - I don’t think he was my son.”

“You’re telling me that you’ve been having my dreams?” Lando asked, looking for clarification.

Finn looked at Lando doubtfully. Would he believe him? Would he be okay with it? It’s not like he had much of a choice. “I think so.”

Lando put his hand up to his mouth, rubbing at the silver scruff around his jaw thoughtfully. “Hm.” The gears inside Lando’s head were shifting, processing that piece of information very carefully and thoroughly.

Finn watched Lando tentatively, looking for some kind of response because he didn’t know what else to say. His stomach was still whirling. “I don’t know why.”

“Am I having your dreams then?” Lando asked, any form of eagerness pushed aside. It was like he’d had his hopes high too many times in search of a child that was dead. But there was always a glimmer of hope in those chocolate brown eyes.

“I… I don’t know,” Finn said, voice soft and quiet. He hoped so. “I don’t remember being taken. I don’t remember being brainwashed. I just know that it happened. I can’t explain it.”

Lando nodded, looking down at his feet for a moment before looking back up at Finn, a hopeful grin. “What was your designation?”

Finn looked up at him, brows furrowed and contorted in confusion. “What?”

“Your designation. What was it? What was your name before Poe called you Finn?”

Finn blinked, hesitating. This was it. This would be the moment, wouldn’t it? The moment he found out it wasn’t true, that this was all just a coincidence. “FN-21-”

“-87,” Lando finished with a sure look on his face. Suddenly, a smile beamed across his face. “Oh, I don’t believe it,” he said, laughing as he took a step closer to Finn, grabbing his face, to stare deep into those dark, soft eyes of his. “Is it really you?”

Finn tensed, shocked by the warm reaction. He wasn’t sure why he was shocked. Lando was always so warm, boldly so. “I-I think so,” Finn said, eyes flicking across Lando’s face as if doing so would give him the right answer.

“I had another dream last night,” Lando said, stepping back to give Finn some space. “That was the designation they gave Chance… I don’t think you’ve ever told me that before. How else would I know if it wasn’t for the Force?”

“I don’t know. That’s what I don’t understand,” Finn said. “The only thing that makes sense to me is that-that you’re… I’m your…” Finn couldn’t bring himself to say it, not if it was possible that it might not be true. “Is that okay?”

Lando looked at Finn sympathetically. “Finn, of course, that’s okay. It’s more than okay. That would be amazing.”

Finn nodded, biting his lip anxiously, not quite ready to submit to the possibility. “But what if we found out it wasn’t the truth?” he asked Lando, hearting pounding wildly in his chest.

“I don’t know about you, Finn, but I don’t really care,” Lando admitted. “We both have a hole inside of us that the other can fill. For all we know, that could be why this is happening, why the Force brought us together. That’s enough for me.”

Finn’s eyes started to well up with tears as Lando said those words. “Me too,” he said, voice cracking with emotion. Lando wrapped him up in a hug that Finn reciprocated, burying his face in Lando’s shoulder as he cried. 

He had a father.

He was Lando’s son.

Finn had no idea what that meant. None at all. But it was something he’d always wondered about. And now that he was going to be a father, it might help that he had one of his own to look to for advice.

Speaking of, how was he supposed to tell Lando that his long lost son was about to become a father? That would be for later.

  
  
  
  


“I can’t wait until dinner,” Poe told Finn as they sat at their kitchen table. They agreed to tell Kes at Dinner but Poe was getting impatient.

“Me either. Your dad is going to be so excited,” Finn agreed as he examined a recipe he’d found on the holonet. At least, he thought he was agreeing with Poe.

“No. I don’t think you understand. I can not keep my mouth shut. I’m going to tell him,” Poe elaborately informed Finn.

Finn looked up from the datapad at Poe. “Lunch?” he asked.

“Probably.” Kes had offered to cook everyone lunch. It seemed like every day there was a battle between Kes and Finn over who would cook for everyone. “Speaking of lunch, what is that smell?” Poe asked, scrunching up his nose to get a better whiff of whatever it was that Kes was cooking out there.

“You don’t like it?” Finn asked.

“No. It smells good,” Poe said, rubbing his stomach. He didn’t realize he was so hungry. Poe felt more than hungry actually. He felt ravenous. “Man, I’m hungry.” Poe sniffed at that savory, smoky smell again and his stomach growled.

Finn smirked at Poe, a grin that said he knew something Poe didn’t.

“What is it?” Poe asked curiously.

Finn cleared his throat and gestured towards the window where Poe’s father was making lunch. “It’s fish,” Finn informed Poe bluntly, amusement on his face as Poe’s expression fell. He chuckled. “You want to eat fish?”

“No,” Poe said, brushing it off as if it was the dumbest thing Finn had ever asked him.

Finn squinted at Poe, examining the way the pilot fidgeted uncomfortably. The way Poe’s brows were pinched ever so slightly told Finn he was experiencing discomfort from hunger. Poe got that way around the middle of the day a lot now. So he knew Poe was hungry. And just a moment before Poe had admitted that lunch smelled good. Which didn’t sound like Poe. He learned very early on in their friendship that Poe hated seafood. So it made Finn wonder… “Does the baby want fish?”

Poe bit the side of his cheek and looked out the window, trying to hide the sheepish, guilty expression on his face. Who was he kidding? Finn knew what was going on. He sighed and looked at Finn in defeat. “Yes.”

Finn chuckled as he got up from the table, holding his hand out to Poe. “Alright. Come on. Let’s get you fed.” Poe sighed and begrudgingly stood up, taking Finn’s hand and linking their fingers together. “The baby gets what she wants,” Finn said, pressing a kiss to Poe’s hand as he started to lead him to the door.

  
  
  
  


Poe and Finn sat together on one of the swinging benches by the fire. Finn had prepared a plate of food for each of them and brought one over to Poe. Poe didn’t have any fish on his plate but Finn let Poe curiously pick at his, encouraging him to try it. Kes simply sputtered. “Good luck. Poe has never eaten fish.”

As if to prove Kes wrong, Poe took a bite. The texture and flavor were like he remembered it being when he hated it. But this time… “It’s good,” Poe said, shocking Kes and making Finn smile.

Kes sat down on a stump and looked at Finn. He shook his head. “He only did that to prove me wrong,” he swore to Finn. Finn knew better though. He was sure Poe partly wanted to prove him wrong but he knew something else was going on as well. “I thought you couldn’t eat meat? What happened to that, huh?” Kes asked Poe.

Poe shrugged. “Actually, since I’ve stopped taking my medication, I’ve been able to eat animal products.”

“In small quantities,” Finn added. They both recalled the time Poe had gotten a little too excited about that and eaten more than his fair share of ice cream. Poe hasn’t eaten ice cream since.

Poe shrugged. “I don’t make a habit of it though.” He used his fork to stab at the fish on Finn’s plate. “I want more of this though. It’s good.”

Finn pulled his plate away. “Do I need to get you your own?”

“No, we’re married, remember? We share,” Poe swore.

Rey rolled her eyes. “Not this again.” She got up and asked for Poe’s plate. “I’ll get Poe his own fish.” She could tell Poe was about to argue with her so she took his plate. “Thank you,” she said and made her way to the grill.

Finn called out to Rey. “Just a small piece.” He didn’t want Poe to eat too much and get sick.

Poe felt a familiar flutter inside of him. Knowing what it was warmed him to his core. It reminded him why he wouldn’t be able to wait until dinner. He stood up and held his arm out for the datapad in Finn’s lap. “Hey, Dad. Could you look at something for me?”

Finn grinned and handed the pad to Poe. “Sure. What is it?” Kes asked, glancing up from his plate as Poe walked over to him.

Poe stood in front of Kes, flipping through the datapad to find the correct file. He turned up the brightness, knowing his dad would have a hard time reading it. “Here,” he said, casually handing it off to Kes. “I don’t know. Just take a look and tell me what you think.”

Rey walked up to Poe and handed him his plate. The smile on her face said she knew what was going on. Poe took a bite of the fish and watched as his father’s face contorted as he tried to make out was he was looking at. “Poe, I don’t know…” He turned his head to one side and then the other. Slowly his face softened. “Wait… is that…” Kes’s expression morphed into one of shock. “It is!” Kes looked up at Poe, eyes wide in wonder. “You’re pregnant?”

Poe handed his plate back to Rey because he knew what was coming. Kes discarded his plate and the datapad as he jumped to his feet and hugged his son, laughing. “I don’t believe it!” he said into Poe’s shoulder before pushing him back. “Are you serious? You’re really having a baby?”

“Yeah,” Poe said. And he’d never seen his dad so proud of him. He’d hadn’t seen him so happy since before his mother died. He knew the hormones were partly to blame but he cried. He sniffled as Kes held his face and wiped his tears. “I’m gonna name her after mom.”

And Kes cried too. “Oh. Poe,” he said, holding his son’s face in his hands and brushing back those tears. “How long have you known?”

“Uh. Two days,” Poe croaked. “So have Rey and Dinah. And I just told Finn last night.” Poe glanced over at Lando who’d been sitting next to Dinah, enjoying his meal and watching the scene unfold. “The grandpas were the last to tell I guess. Surprise!”

“Wow,” Kes said. He pat Poe on the face. “Wow. Wow. Wow.” He let go of Poe and turned to Finn, who nearly mirrored Lando, simply watching the Dameron Show while he ate. “Finn, you did it!” Kes cheered, earning a fit of laughter from everyone.

Poe was shaking his head and laughing when Lando approached him. “Congratulations, Poe.”

“Lando,” Poe said, spreading his arms and walking right into Lando’s. “Finn told me about everything. I hope getting your son back and becoming a grandad in one day isn’t too much.”

“Oh, it’s never too much. Never too much, Poe,” Lando assured him warmly. He pulled back, smiling that classic Lando smile at him. Poe found it amazing that even through all of Lando’s heartbreak, he managed to radiate so much warmth. He supposed it must come from the light. He must’ve passed that spark onto Finn because even through all the cold, darkness that Finn was raised in, he radiated the same warmth, the same light. “I told you the moment I saw you that you were glowing. I figured you had something to tell us.”

Poe chuckled. Amazing. Truly amazing. “She’s gonna be so lucky to have you around,” Poe told Lando, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be coming around more often, right?”

“Well, I have to now,” Lando teased.

Poe heard a strangled noise from behind him and turned to see his father still smothering Finn. “Hey, Pops! Give Finn some space. He needs oxygen,” he chided his father.

Kes turned around and pointed at Lando. “Did I hear that correctly? You’re grandpa too?”

“Nothing like a little friendly competition to see who is better at spoiling their grandkids,” Lando confirmed.

“Oh, you are on, my friend,” Kes said, offering a hand. They shook on it, making it a deal then pulled each other into a hug.

Poe smiled as Finn walked up to him and put an arm around Poe’s waist. He pulled him close and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You feel better now that you have that off your chest?”

Poe looked at Finn, eyes still glossy with emotion. He smiled. “I do. Yeah.”

“Let’s see that picture again,” Lando said. “I hardly got to see it before Kes sent it flying halfway to Curascant.”

Rey picked it up from the ground, grinning as she walked up to Lando. “I’d like to get a look at it too. I haven’t seen it yet.” Everyone but Finn and Poe, gathered around to look at the bioscan image on the datapad. Rey had never seen one before. She was the most curious. But the others were probably having flashbacks of when they’d seen their first.

Finn pressed another kiss to Poe’s forehead. He was still trying to process it all. He was a father. Finn looked down between them, reaching his hand down to press over Poe’s lower belly. He earned a wide-eyed look from Poe. Finn smiled. “What?”

“Nothing,” Poe said, though his voice was higher than normal.

Finn chuckled. “You have a little bump,” he said quietly. No one else was paying much attention to the two of them. They were all too busy listening to Dinah explain everything on the bioscan. Poe huffed lightly, angling himself so he was directly facing Finn and there was very little space between them. “Have you felt her at all today?”

Poe nodded, biting the insides of his cheek.

“Yeah? Is she doing barrel rolls? Is she gonna be a pilot just like her Grandmother? Just like you?” Finn teased sweetly.

Poe laughed and shook his head. “Oh. You make light of it now. But let’s see if you feel the same in three months when she’s doing barrel rolls and you have to clean up my vomit.”

“Wow. You? Throw up? I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Finn teased sarcastically. “It’s not like you’ve ever thrown up in front of me or on my boots before.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “You know what? It’s good practice for you. Babies throw up all the time. And they wake you up in the middle of the night for feeding-”

Finn gasped. “Just like you. Wow. I guess pregnancy really does prepare you for parenthood.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Poe warned him.

“Course not,” Finn said, sliding his hands around Poe’s waist and holding him. “That’s your job.” Finn pressed another kiss to Poe’s forehead. Just a few months before, Finn and Poe were sitting in the cave on Ajan Kloss wondering what was next for them. Since then, it seemed like it was one thing after another. First, he had a partner, then a home, then a husband. Now he had a father and a baby on the way. Finn felt that whatever was next, as long as he had Poe by his side, would be an adventure regardless. Because Poe on his own was an adventure. One thing after the other. Every day was a new adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for making it all the way to the end of this work! It has been so fun working on this series. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Special thanks to my beta-reader.
> 
> And in case you were wondering.... YES I AM WORKING ON MORE FOR THIS SERIES! I won't be writing any more novel-sized fics like these two but I will be writing a few works on Finn and Poe's being dads. Those ones won't be on my calendar because I will just post them as they get written. Hope you'll check them out when they get posted!
> 
> Also, another special thanks to all of you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. You are very much appreciated. It makes my day when I get to wake up and read encouraging comments and fuels me to keep writing!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you in the next one!


End file.
